# Best medieval nickname EVER! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 24, 2005, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625 "2005-02-24T01:50:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/41 "2005-02-25T10:52:31Z")
Harald Blood-Axe Sigurd worm-in-eye Leif the Happy Karl the Fat Æthelræd the Clueless Henrik Birdcatcher There was some guy the Vikings in England called “child-lover” because he didn’t like to put children’s head on a pike. Sentimental bastard huh? ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/42 "2005-02-25T11:01:39Z")
Vlad the Impaler. Does exactly what it says on the tin. ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/43 "2005-02-25T11:03:44Z")
Ivan the Terrible. And he didn’t get the name because he was a terrible cook either. ---
**Author:** ![cantara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6f9a4e/32.png) [@cantara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cantara)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/44 "2005-02-25T15:31:22Z")
I submit Thorfinn Hausakluif (SkullSplitter), the Seventh Viking Earl of Orkney Also the namesake for an appropriately named [beverage](http://www.legendslimited.com/skull.html). ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/45 "2005-02-25T15:35:31Z")
King John sort of got the short end of the stick with “Bad King John” and “King John Lackland” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/46 "2005-02-25T16:34:41Z")
I wish I had seen this thread before I named my WoW character. Great names. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/47 "2005-02-25T16:59:05Z")
You have all missed the obvious ones: Vlad the Impaler & Long Dong Silver. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/48 "2005-02-25T17:36:58Z")
> [@Madd Maxx](#): > > You have all missed the obvious ones: Vlad the Impaler … See post #42 ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/49 "2005-02-25T17:41:13Z")
> [@Fanny May](#): > > Sometimes the “story” is a misunderstanding. > > My favorite Anglo-Saxon king Ethelred the Unready. (King of the English from 978 to 1016). > The term ‘Unready’ is probably a misinterpretation of the word ‘un-raed’ which means ‘lack of council’. I recall a character in _The Scarlet Letter_ described as “redding up,” meaning that he took council, acted upon wisdom, etc. But if I google that phrase, all I get is the modern sense “to clean up.” Huh! ---
**Author:** ![Hugh\_Jass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4da419/32.png) [@Hugh\_Jass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hugh_Jass)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/50 "2005-02-25T18:05:43Z")
No one mentioned Charles the Hammer? That name is cool enough to make up for all the fats, shorts, and balds the french dealt out. He was also Charlemagnes grandpop ---
**Author:** ![wnorthr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecccb3/32.png) [@wnorthr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wnorthr)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/51 "2005-02-25T18:49:16Z")
I knew a guy who’se last name was Matamoros - Moor killer. Coolest last name ever. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/52 "2005-02-25T21:50:10Z")
Just to prove that not only the French were fat, there’s a famous king of Leon who was named Sancho the Fat. The King of Navarre during the beginning of the Hundred Years War was nicknamed “Charles the Bad”, and his sometime ally/sometime enemy, the king of France was “Jean the Good”. The French king’s ally at this time was the King of Bohemia, “John the Blind”, who was. An earlier king of Bohemia was “Boleslav the Cruel”, who was, and his son, who was probably crueler, manged to get the nickname “Boleslav the Pious”. Then of course, there was the later King of Bohemia, Frederick the V, who was given the throne by a bunch of Protestant nobles at the end of 1619, and then overthrown only two months later by the Holy Roman Emperor. This got him the nickname “The Winter King”. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/53 "2005-02-25T23:40:20Z")
> [@Shade](#): > > King John sort of got the short end of the stick with “Bad King John” and “King John Lackland” 🙂 You missed my post #16. You also missed “John Softsword”, which, as I note above, probably does NOT refer to his lack of military prowess! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/54 "2005-02-26T01:48:42Z")
> [@Tristan](#): > > Tell that the Saddam Hussein, or either of his sons if you can find enough of them left to make a whole head. Why? What do they call him? ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/55 "2005-02-26T01:55:33Z")
**Syviatopolk the Accursed** , Grand Duke of Kiev. Wonder what he was cursed with? Bad breath? Acne? Gouty legs? Whatever it was, I’ll bet it was unpleasant. As far as badass nicknames go, there’s Contantine Monomachos, which means “He who fights his own battles”. Sounds even better on his grandson, **Vladimir Monomakh**. Vladimir Monomakh totally sounds like a dude who could kick some ass nine ways to Sunday. ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/56 "2005-02-26T09:53:16Z")
Hammer of the Scots (Edward I) ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/57 "2005-02-26T10:17:24Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > Does this remind anyone else of _Blackadder_? I particularly like William the Bastard. Yes indeed. Especially that early episode where he was deciding on a badass nickname for himself: “I SHALL CALL MYSELF… _ **dramatic pause** _ THE BLACK… _ **’nother dramatic pause** _ vegetable”. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/58 "2005-02-26T16:36:20Z")
> [@Mississippienne](#): > > **Syviatopolk the Accursed** , Grand Duke of Kiev. Wonder what he was cursed with? Bad breath? Acne? Gouty legs? Whatever it was, I’ll bet it was unpleasant. Then there was _Carlos II el Hechizado_ – Charles II the Hexed, the last Hapsburg king of Spain. The prince suffered from developmental problems both physical and mental, major sexual dysfunction (terrible when you’re supposed to sire heirs) and on top of it all at the end he started going mad. Folks figured he must have been bewitched. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/59 "2005-02-26T16:58:48Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Why? What do they call him? Yeah. I didn’t realize Bush killed Uday and Qusay and captured Saddam. 😉 If he’d done that, somebody probably would’ve thought up a good nickname for him. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/60 "2005-02-26T23:37:09Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > Then there was _Carlos II el Hechizado_ – Folks figured he must have been bewitched. Naw, just really really inbred. Btw, I dug up the reasoning behind the name of **Svyatopolk the Accursed**. Seems he got stuck with the role of official villain after murdering (or did he?) three of his brothers. Medieval Kievan history is notoriously twisted, so perhaps we’ll never know the truth. In any case he had eleven brothers, it’s not like anyone would miss two or three. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625.md?page=4)