# Best Milhous Lines **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 16, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812 "2003-10-16T17:15:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/1 "2003-10-16T17:15:36Z")
“Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?” “So cold. So very cold.” Milhous: You’ve changed, man. Bart: Sod off. Milhous: It used to be about the _music!_ Bart: I said _SOD OFF! \_ ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/91b2a8/32.png) [@Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_of_Sandwhich)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/2 "2003-10-16T17:30:09Z")
After Bart makes a vow to stay out of trouble, the phone rings. Milhouse is on the other end, and says “Hhhey, Bart, wanna go play with the X-ray machine over at that abandoned hospital?!” ---
**Author:** ![Chocobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Chocobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chocobo)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/3 "2003-10-16T17:37:46Z")
“If they Ayatollah can’t have Bart’s soul, NO ONE can!!!” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/4 "2003-10-16T17:38:47Z")
“How could this happen? We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.” Brilliant and subtle. ---
**Author:** ![Spudo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Spudo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spudo)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/5 "2003-10-16T18:01:17Z")
“But my mom says I’m cool!” ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/6 "2003-10-16T18:04:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc \* > **"Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?"…** **cuauhtemoc** , that is possibly my all time favorite Milhous line. But I think you may have it partly wrong. I _think_ it was “ **you** ate my goldfish” rather than “ **he** ate my goldfish”. ---
**Author:** ![Vixenation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/278dde/32.png) [@Vixenation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vixenation)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/7 "2003-10-16T18:09:11Z")
“Everything’s coming up Milhouse!” ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/8 "2003-10-16T18:24:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by davidm \* > \*\ ***cuauhtemoc** , that is possibly my all time favorite Milhous line. But I think you may have it partly wrong. I _think_ it was “ **you** ate my goldfish” rather than “ **he** ate my goldfish”. \*\* Nope, **cuauhtemoc** had it right. “He” is referring to Santa’s Little Helper, in the Laddie episode. This quote, incidently, was the first one I thought of when I read the topic… ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/9 "2003-10-16T18:48:31Z")
Milhouse and Bart talking about doing a crazy stunt: Bart: You mean like they do on Jackass? Milhouse: Yea, all those disclaimers just make me wanna do it even more! ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/10 "2003-10-16T19:02:54Z")
“This is great! And all I’ve done is enter my name: Thrillhouse.” WELCOME THRILLHO ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/11 "2003-10-16T19:06:32Z")
When Lisa (I think ) is watching the Mexican dance movie, there’s a Mexican Lisa who’s the heroine and a Mexican Milhouse who lusts after her. After winnning the dance contest, the Mexican Lisa goes off with the Antonio Banderas-ish stud, leaving the rejected Mexican Milhouse to lament: “Once again, I must sugar my own churro” Others: “You can’t see her Bart. She’s with the 'House now” “This is what it sounds like when doves cry” ---
**Author:** ![Logan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/278dde/32.png) [@Logan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Logan)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/12 "2003-10-16T19:11:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Vixenation \* > \*\*“Everything’s coming up Milhouse!” \*\* I totally agree. That one is my absolute favorite! ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/13 "2003-10-16T19:57:16Z")
“Remember ALF? He’s back! In POG form!” ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/14 "2003-10-16T20:17:31Z")
“There’s plenty of Milhouse to go around!” ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/15 "2003-10-16T20:24:04Z")
Milhouse’s signing of Lisa’s yearbook: “See you in the car. Best wishes, Milhouse” Milhouse: “School’s out! Up yours, Krabappel!” [runs out, while other students sit] Krabappel: “Well, I’m glad the rest of you remembered that summer vacation starts at the end of the day, not the beginning.” ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/16 "2003-10-16T21:12:47Z")
“He said ‘radical’. I say ‘radical’! That’s the _thing_ that I say. I feel like I’m going to explode here!” “I’ve said ‘jimminy-jillikers’ so many times, the words have lost all meaning!” ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/17 "2003-10-16T21:25:45Z")
Milhouse: Is this the untimely end of Milhouse? Milhouse2 from Shelbyville: But Milhouse is my name! Milhouse: But I thought I was the only one! Milhouse2: A pain I know all too well. Milhouse: So this is what it feels like…when doves cry. ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/18 "2003-10-16T22:41:46Z")
“Their hands were everywhere!” (sobbing) And, it’s not a spoken line, but in the ep where Lisa likes Nelson, Millhouse passes a note from her to Nelson reading Guess who likes you? Nelson turns around and Millhouse is doing the eyebrow thing. That just kills me. ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/19 "2003-10-16T23:39:31Z")
I think Milhouse’s sprinkler impression from the beach house ep is hysterical, but it doesn’t work so well in text… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![PigArcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@PigArcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PigArcher)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/20 "2003-10-16T23:42:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by YellowTail \* > \*\*And, it’s not a spoken line, but in the ep where Lisa likes Nelson, Millhouse passes a note from her to Nelson reading Guess who likes you? Nelson turns around and Millhouse is doing the eyebrow thing. That just kills me. \*\* Followed by a scene of Milhouse strapped in a gurney and being loaded into an ambulance… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812.md?page=2)