# Best Milhous Lines

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [October 16, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812 "2003-10-16T17:15:36Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 7\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/21 "2003-10-17T00:05:16Z")

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**YellowTail** -that cracks me up every time!

In the same episode, Lisa tells Millhouse that she likes Nelson because she senses that he’s really nice down deep, and she wants to bring out the “Millhouse in Nelson.”

“But I’m ALL Millhouse!”

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**Author:** ![Jello](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@Jello](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jello)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/22 "2003-10-17T01:40:53Z")

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Milhous: Bart, remember when I was crying at recess today? I think I’m finally ready to tell you why.

Bart: Let’s see what’s on TV!

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**Author:** ![DaPearl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5e925/32.png) [@DaPearl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaPearl)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/23 "2003-10-17T03:23:40Z")

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My absolute favorite:

“The House always wins!”

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**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/24 "2003-10-17T12:43:12Z")

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“_Spring Breeeeeeeeak!!!_”

_\<Milhous is met with blank stares\>_

“Well, when _are_ we gonna get rowdy, then?”

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**Author:** ![Kaspar\_Hauser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b3f665/32.png) [@Kaspar\_Hauser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaspar_Hauser)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/25 "2003-10-17T15:41:27Z")

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“Maybe he’s gonna pee in the river!”

Walking around Bart’s warehouse, sipping coffee: “So this is my life…”

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**Author:** ![Sketch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Sketch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sketch)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/26 "2003-10-17T19:52:48Z")

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Bury me at Make-out Creek.

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**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\
**Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-milhous-lines/207812/27 "2003-10-17T20:14:21Z")

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Milhouse, in a “Fugitive” takeoff, dives off the dam to escape a Tommy Lee Jones-ish Federal Marshall:

“My Glaaaaaassssseeeeesssss!”

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And not a Milhouse line, but I love the scene in which Homer & Marge consult the school psychiatrist. The shrink flips through a file.

shrink: “It’s not at all uncommon for a child such as yours with so many obvious homosexual tendencies…”

Marge: “Bart’s gay???”

shrink: “Bart? Oh my mistake, I have the wrong file in front of me.”

The shrink puts the file - labelled “Van Houten, Milhouse” - away.

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