# Best/most creative rhyming couplet in a song **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 17, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795 "2006-03-17T19:32:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jacob\_Silj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Jacob\_Silj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jacob_Silj)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/1 "2006-03-17T19:32:20Z")
Can’t think of one myself right now, I’m sure there are dozens written by Elvis Costello and the guys from Squeeze that would fit. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/2 "2006-03-17T19:43:23Z")
Not technically a couplet (I don’t think), but I’ve always admired this rhyme from Steve Taylor in _Bannerman_: _Prime time football in the Buffalo snow / Freezing his little epidermis Lifts that banner at the first field goal / Drinks clam chowder from a thermos_ I’m pretty sure it’s the only time I’ve heard a song rhyme “epidermis.” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/3 "2006-03-17T19:55:06Z")
Not even close. Consider: "When tearing off a round of golf I might make a play for the caddie But if I do I don’t follow through “Cause my heart belongs to Daddy.” “You’re the Nile! You’re the Tow’r of Pisa, You’re the smile, of the Mona Lisa!” "Or bring a jeroboam on And write a drunken poem on " “In dear Milano, where are you, Momo, Still selling those pictures of the Scriptures in the Duomo? And, Carolina, where are you, Lina, Still peddling your pizza in the streets o’ Taormina? And in Firenze, where are you, Alice, Still there in your pretty, itty-bitty, Pitti Palace? And sweet Lucretia, so young and gay-ee? What scandalous doin’s in the ruins of Pompeii!” (Pick any two). “If she says your behavior is heinous Kick her right in the “Coriolanus.”” And that’s just Cole Porter. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/4 "2006-03-17T20:39:14Z")
I’m impressed with some of Tom Lehrer’s I’d rather marry a duck-billed platypus Than end up like old Oedipus Rex! … Down by the Old Maelstrom, There’ll be a Calm before the Storm … Don’t say that he’s hypocritical Say rather that he’s apolitical … ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/5 "2006-03-17T20:47:47Z")
“If you say you watch the movie you’re a couple of liars, and remember only you can prevent forest fires!” :rolleyes: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/6 "2006-03-17T20:49:01Z")
_Back to back Sacroiliac_ Blondie **Rapture** Short, to the point, and it uses the word “sacroiliac”. Seriously, how does that end up in a pop song? ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/7 "2006-03-17T21:02:29Z")
I’ve always been fond of the rhymes in “We’ll All Go Together When We Go” by Tom Leher seen in their entirety Here: [http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/t/tomlehrer3903/wewillallgotogetherwhenwego185492.html](http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/t/tomlehrer3903/wewillallgotogetherwhenwego185492.html) Favorites: We’ll sing out a Te Deum when we see the ICBM Universal bereavement An Inspiring achievement With complete participation In that grand incineration, When the air becomes uranious, And we will all go simultaneous. Some of the best. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/8 "2006-03-17T21:02:59Z")
Cole Porter is the alltime godfather of brilliant rhymes; there is no close second. But disqualifying him so there’s SOME kind of competition, let’s not forget: Big black nemesis Parthenogenesis And, a four-part rhyme that’s always impressed me; each rhyme close enough to work, but progressively different. Obviously the shift from line to line is intentional; it’s not misrhymed, it’s getting from point A to point D brilliantly. In “The Night of the Swallow,” Kate Bush literally gets from Dover to Malta hopping from rhyme to rhyme: Meet them over at Dover I’ll just pilot the motor Take them over the water Like a swallow flying to Malta The greatest post-Porter Broadway lyricist is Stephen Sondheim. From Sweeney Todd: It’s fop. Finest in the shop. Or we have some shepherd’s pie peppered With actual shepherd On top. And I’ve just begun. Here’s the politician — so oily It’s served with a doily — Have one. Put it on a bun. Well, you never know if it’s going to run. Try the friar. Fried, it’s drier. No, the clergy is really Too coarse and too mealy. Then actor — That’s compacter. Yes, and always arrives overdone. Catch that? That was: AABBACDDCCCEEFFGGC. And his West Side Story lyrics are perhaps even more impressive. Nothing to exerpt there; every line is exceptional. Well OK here’s one: Dear kindly Judge, your Honor, My parents treat me rough, With all the marijuana, They won’t give me a puff. They didn’t wanna have me, But somehow I was had. Leapin’ lizards, that’s why I’m so bad! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/9 "2006-03-17T21:07:41Z")
Andrew Ratchin is not quite in the same league as Cole Porter and Tom Lehrer, but he’s close: **Penis Envy** _I’d stick in vacuums On vacant verandahs Gas guzzling Volvos And poodles and pandas_ **Lois Lane** _She wouldn’t know love If it only went one way Taking off with her desk as a runway If he told her the truth And the rules of the order As he dressed in the phone booth And he asked her for quarters_ **Another Fat Song** \*See the kid who’s been so totally insipid He’s been saving up the lipids for a rainy day Thinks it kind of funny that some hypodermic honey For a little bit a money drains the past away Everyone who’s phobic about being anaerobic Can endure the mock heroics of the surgeons’ grind Every tofu hater can revert to steak and taters If he knows that sometime later he’ll be redesigned Slip the tube Into the sack of suet As you pass the fluid with some tenderness Greet the future With a single suture As you roto-root your way to slenderness\* ---
**Author:** ![parthenokinesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/cc9497/32.png) [@parthenokinesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/parthenokinesis)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/10 "2006-03-17T21:13:49Z")
In the song “It’s Not Safe…” by Amy Rigby: “Now I’m runnin’ for my life, like Dustin Hoffman, I guess that I’ve been lucky once too often.” A lot of her writing is good, but that’s my favorite rhyme, ever. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/11 "2006-03-17T21:30:54Z")
I’m all about the Tom Lehrer, too. “Vatican Rag” has some doozies: There the man who’s got religion’ll Tell you if your sin’s original You can do the things you want, if You have cleared 'em with the Pontiff _Ave Maria_ Gee it’s good ta see ya! Gettin’ ecstatic, an’ Sorta dramatic, an’ Doin’ the Vatican Rag! ---
**Author:** ![Labtrash](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/labtrash/32/528_2.png) [@Labtrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labtrash)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/12 "2006-03-17T21:57:06Z")
Not sure what a couplet is either, but I love this opening Is a couplet two lines rhyming one after the other (pleading musical ignorance here) ? _I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand_ / _Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain_ _He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook’s_ / _Going to get a big dish of beef chow mein_ Werewolves of London, Warren Zevon ---
**Author:** ![aurelian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f4b2a3/32.png) [@aurelian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurelian)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/13 "2006-03-17T22:06:25Z")
Leonard Cohen, _Hallelujah_ You say I took the name in vain I don’t even know the name But if I did, well really, what’s it to you? There’s a blaze of light In every word It doesn’t matter which you heard The holy or the broken Hallelujah (I think this is the rhyme scheme: a,a,b,c,c,b ?) ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/14 "2006-03-17T22:08:57Z")
From “That’s Entertainment” It might be a fight like you see on the screen A swain getting slain for the love of a queen Some great Shakespearean scene Where a ghost and a prince meet And everyone ends in mincemeat. ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/15 "2006-03-17T22:14:13Z")
From “That’s Entertainment” It might be a fight like you see on the screen A swain getting slain for the love of a queen Some great Shakespearean scene Where a ghost and a prince meet And everyone ends in mincemeat. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/16 "2006-03-17T22:28:59Z")
From “Cry Me a River”: Said that love was too plebian, Said that you were through with me, an’ Not a couplet, but good - From “Misalliance”, lyrics by Michael Flanders: Said the right-handed honeysuckle to the left-handed bindweed, “Oh, let us get married, if our parents don’t mind, we’d Be loving and inseparable, inextricably entwined, we’d Live happily ever after” said the honeysuckle to the bindweed. ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/17 "2006-03-17T22:37:00Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > I’m all about the Tom Lehrer, too. “Vatican Rag” has some doozies: > > There the man who’s got religion’ll > Tell you if your sin’s original > > You can do the things you want, if > You have cleared 'em with the Pontiff > > _Ave Maria_ > Gee it’s good ta see ya! > > Gettin’ ecstatic, an’ > Sorta dramatic, an’ > Doin’ the Vatican > Rag! You quote Vatican Rag and leave out “Make a cross on your abdomen/when in Rome do like a Roman!” Fie upon you. Fie I say. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/18 "2006-03-17T22:38:49Z")
“Generals gather in their masses, Just like witches at Black Masses.” … well, nice try, Ozzie. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/19 "2006-03-17T22:48:58Z")
My favourite, courtesy of Bob Dylan… “what can I say about Claudette, ain’t seen her since January she could be respectably married or running whorehouse in Buenos Aires” mm ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/20 "2006-03-17T22:53:57Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Cole Porter is the alltime godfather of brilliant rhymes; there is no close second. Perhaps you are unfamiliar with a little British comedy songwriting duo known as **Flanders and Swann**? I give you such masterpieces as: \*I don’t care for sherry, one cannot drink stout And port is a wine I can well do without It’s simply a case of chacun a son gout Unaware of the wiles of the snake-in-the-grass And the fate of the maiden who topes She lowered her standards by raising her glass Her courage, her eyes and his hopes Now if it were gin, you’d be wrong to say yes The evil gin does would be hard to assess Besides it’s inclined to affect me prowess Then there flashed through her mind what her mother had said With her antepenultimate breath “Oh my child, should you look on the wine that is red Be prepared for a fate worse than death”\* And that’s all just from one song, _Madeira, m’dear_. But my very favorite single rhyming couplet may be from _Pippin_: _And if all the ploys we’ve picked to really work to bring to pass occur We won’t have just a victory, we’ll have ourselves a massacre_ Note that not only do “pass occur” and “massacre” rhyme, but so do “picked to re-” and “victory”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795.md?page=2)