# Best/most creative rhyming couplet in a song **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 17, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795 "2006-03-17T19:32:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/21 "2006-03-17T23:03:56Z")
Not to forget the Modern Major General I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical About binomial theorem I’m teeming with a lot o’ news With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse etc.etc.etc. ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/22 "2006-03-17T23:19:19Z")
While we’re quoting Cole Porter, I’ve always liked: “Mr. Harris, plutocrat Wants to give my cheek a pat If the Harris Pat Means a Paris Hat, Bebe!” Lorenz Hart pulled a few good ones too: “Sir Paul was frail; He looked a wreck to me At night he was a horse’s neck to me So I performed an appendectomy To Keep my Love Alive” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2006, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/23 "2006-03-18T01:57:49Z")
I was going to mention Lehrer and Flander & Swann, too. Just great. More F&S: “That hippopatamus was no ignoramus.” And, of course: “'Mud, Mud, glorious mud Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood! So follow me, follow Down to the hollow And there let us wallow In glorious mud” Now, Neil Innes: “Some people say it with flowers, Some people say it at Lloyds, But you don’t find many tryin’ to say it with humanoids.” Irving Berlin: “My uncle out in Texas can’t even write his name. He signs his checks with “x’s” But they cash them just the same.” Ira Gershwin: “The way your smile just beams The way you sing off key The way you haunt my dreams No they can’t take that away from me.” Johnny Mercer (pick any): Hooray for Hollywood They hire fellas whose physiques are good And then they tell them they’re the perfect shape me To act like apemen And they convince them they should They make them grunt and yell And people think they’re swell Hooray for Hollywood ---
**Author:** ![ayalabmaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@ayalabmaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ayalabmaj)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2006, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/24 "2006-03-18T03:26:20Z")
Monty Python, anyone? \*In war we’re tough and able, Quite indefatigable, Between our quests, we sequin vests, and impersonate Clark Gable. It’s a busy life in Camelot, I have to push the pram a lot.\* or, some philosophy, perhaps? \*Immanuel Kant was a real pissant Who was very rarely stable, Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar Who could think you under the table\* ---
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2006, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/25 "2006-03-18T05:48:39Z")
**Stephin Merritt** , of the band **The Magnetic Fields** , is by far the heir to Porter’s legacy. Like Porter, he knocks out some absolutely jaw-dropping forced and fudged rhymes when the real thing won’t do. 😉 \*On the ferris wheel looking out on Coney Island Under more stars than there are prostitutes in Thailand Our hair in the air, our lips blue from cotton candy When we kiss it feels like a flying saucer landing \* One of my favorites, from “Strange Powers.” _there is no sun except the one that never shone on other guys The moon to whom the poets croon has given up and died Astronomy will have to be revised_ - “I don’t believe in the sun” - Or I could make a career of being blue I could dress in black and read Camus smoke clove cigarettes and drink vermouth like I was 17 that would be a scream but I don’t want to get over you\* - “I don’t want to get over you” _A pretty boy in his underwear If there’s a better reason to jump for joy who cares?_ - “underwear” \*My Mama said gently, you can buy her a Bentley, but my child she’ll only drive it away I didn’t listen cause my brain was missing and I only found it today \* - “it’s a crime” \*Acoustic guitar, if you think I play hard well, you could have belonged to Steve Earle or Charo or Gwar I could sell you tomorrow so bring me back my girl \* - “Acoustic Guitar” _I met Ferdinand de Saussure on a night like this On love he said “I’m not so sure I even know what it is”_ - “The Death of Ferdinand de Saussure” (killer rhyming “de Saussure” with “not so Sure!”) _It’s very small and made of glass and grossly overadvertised It turns a genius to an ass and makes a fool think he is wise It could make you regret your birth or turn cartwheels in your best suit It costs a lot more than it’s worth and yet there is no substitute_ - “Love is like a bottle of gin” _In an old Silverline I was yours, you were mine I was hoarse, you were mean We designed drum machines They made sounds much like drums I was young you were dumb Now you’re older and I’m wiser We design synthesizers_ - “Falling out of love with you” _Heather, Heather we belong together like sex and violence; like death and silence._ - “Heather Heather” ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2006, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/26 "2006-03-18T09:04:54Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > **Stephin Merritt** , of the band **The Magnetic Fields** , is by far the heir to Porter’s legacy. Like Porter, he knocks out some absolutely jaw-dropping forced and fudged rhymes when the real thing won’t do. 😉 Aw dude, I was working up a Stephin Merritt post. You just wasted like 20 minutes of my time! ---
**Author:** ![Treviathan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@Treviathan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treviathan)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2006, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/27 "2006-03-18T09:21:14Z")
While I have nothing bad to say about Cole Porter or Tom Lehrer, I’d like to humbly submit the first eight lines from the song “Your Ex-Lover is Dead,” by Canadian band **Stars** , as the most arresting couplets to open an album in quite some time: \*God, that was strange to see you again, Introduced by a friend of a friend; Smiled and said “Yes, I think we’ve met before.” In that instant it started to pour; Captured a taxi, despite all the rain, We drove in silence across Pont Champlain And all of that time you thought I was sad, I was trying to remember your name. \* I love that the last two lines _don’t_ rhyme - thus drawing attention to the little ironic “twist” at the end. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2006, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/28 "2006-03-18T10:51:29Z")
**available light** found a quirky, cool song called “We Both Go Down Together” by The Decemberists. The best line is, “Meet me on my vast veranda / My sweet, untouched Miranda”. some other favorites: Mike Doughty, “I Hear The Bells” _You snooze, you lose Well I have snost and lost I’m pushing through I’ll disregard the cost_ Tom Waits, “Hoist That Rag”, from _Real Gone_ \*The sun is up, the world is flat Damn good address for a rat The smell of blood, the drone of flies You know what to do if the baby cries Well we stick our fingers in the ground Heave and turn the world around Smoke is blacking out the sun At night I pray and clean my gun So just open fire when you hit the shore All is fair in love and war\* Tom Waits, “Make It Rain” really, the whole song is awesome, but i love these lines: \*I’m not Able I’m just Cain Open up the heavens Make it rain I’m close to heaven Crushed at the gate They sharpen their knives On my mistakes\* ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2006, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/29 "2006-03-18T11:12:12Z")
The late, great Joey Ramone: Now I guess I gotta tell 'em That I got no cerebellum. _Lobotomy_ {But of course} ---
**Author:** ![smaft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c2a13f/32.png) [@smaft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaft)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2006, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/30 "2006-03-18T16:32:58Z")
Not that anyone’s going to be reading this far down, but I’ve always been quite fond of Franklin Bruno’s lyrics and rhyme schemes (his singing, well, not so much). As an example, from “I Blame You” comes this: “See, it didn’t occur to my heart to infer That these obstacles were insurmountable. Your embrace was so cold; still, I bought all you sold. Now I’m hell-bent to hold you accountable.” shortly followed by: “And I smoke like a fiend- I’ve been dunned and demeaned By this finely machined _amour fou_. You were yin to my yang, you were sturm to my drang; But they tell me to tango takes two.” ---
**Author:** ![Treviathan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@Treviathan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treviathan)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2006, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/31 "2006-03-18T23:00:59Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > **available light** found a quirky, cool song called “We Both Go Down Together” by The Decemberists. The best line is, “Meet me on my vast veranda / My sweet, untouched Miranda”. The Decemberists have some great lyrics. Though it’s not a couplet, one of my favorite rhymes of theirs is in the song “Here I Dreamt I Was an Architect,” when lyricist Colin Meloy rhymes “Birkenau” with “lay my rifle down.” Every time I hear “We Both Go Down Together,” I wonder if it’s loosely based on Matthew Arnold’s poem [Dover Beach](http://www.victorianweb.org/authors/arnold/writings/doverbeach.html). ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/32 "2006-03-19T04:15:19Z")
> [@Treviathan](#): > > Every time I hear “We Both Go Down Together,” I wonder if it’s loosely based on Matthew Arnold’s poem [Dover Beach](http://www.victorianweb.org/authors/arnold/writings/doverbeach.html). Heh, I had the same thought, although I only half-remembered the poem from 11th grade English, and that was quite a while ago. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgonzola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e480ec/32.png) [@Gorgonzola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgonzola)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/33 "2006-03-19T05:02:26Z")
> [@labtrash](#): > > _I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand_ / _Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain_ > _He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook’s_ / _Going to get a big dish of beef chow mein_ > > Werewolves of London, Warren Zevon I loaded up their furniture and took it to Spokane And auctioned off every last naugahyde divan. Also Warren Zevon, _Mr. Bad Example._ ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/34 "2006-03-19T18:36:41Z")
My favorite Sondheim rhyme is from his earliest music/lyrics outing, _Saturday Night_, in an ode describing Brooklyn: _There’s a friendly golf course with greens, And a friendly hash house with beans. There’s a friendly **clink whence** Come juvenile **delinquents** , But they were born in Queens._ ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/35 "2006-03-19T20:17:13Z")
Cole Porter strikes back with: “I want to ride to the ridge where the west commences And gaze at the moon till I lose my senses.” TKO, Porter. And, for the coup de grace, let me introdue W. S. Gilbert: “I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical; I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical, I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical, About binomial theorem I’m teeming with a lot o’ news ? With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse. I’m very good at integral and differential calculus; I know the scientific names of beings animalculous: In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.” “Three little maids who, all unwary, Come from a ladies’ seminary, Freed from its genius tutelary– Three little maids from school!” “My object all sublime I shall achieve in time– To let the punishment fit the crime– The punishment fit the crime; And make each prisoner pent Unwillingly represent A source of innocent merriment! Of innocent merriment!” And finally: “When you’re lying awake with a dismal headache, and repose is taboo’d by anxiety, I conceive you may use any language you choose to indulge in, without impropriety; For your brain is on fire – the bedclothes conspire of usual slumber to plunder you: First your counterpane goes, and uncovers your toes, and your sheet slips demurely from under you; Then the blanketing tickles – you feel like mixed pickles – so terribly sharp is the pricking, And you’re hot, and you’re cross, and you tumble and toss till there’s nothing ‘twixt you and the ticking. Then the bedclothes all creep to the ground in a heap, and you pick ’em all up in a tangle; Next your pillow resigns and politely declines to remain at its usual angle!” (I’d post the entire song – it’s out of copyright – but that’s just be overkill.) ---
**Author:** ![Hogwash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e57/32.png) [@Hogwash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hogwash)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/36 "2006-03-19T20:30:13Z")
I’m as serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/37 "2006-03-19T20:32:42Z")
> [@Robot Arm](#): > > Cole Porter and Tom Lehrer Better still, how about Lehrer parodying Cole Porter: > [@](#): > > That I missed her depressed her young sister named Esther, > This mister to pester she tried. > Now her pestering sister’s a festering blister, > You’re best to resist her, say I. > > The mister resisted, the sister persisted, > I kissed her, all loyalty slipped. > When she said I could have her, her sister’s cadaver > Must surely have turned in its crypt. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/38 "2006-03-19T20:47:50Z")
I’ve just remembered another one. While not in the same linguistic league, I do think the lyrics of _COmmon People_ by Pulp, which IMO is the Greatest Pop Song Ever Written, are very clever indeed: > [@](#): > > She came from Greece, > She had a thirst for knowledge. > She studied sculpture at Saint Martin’s College; > That’s where I > Caught her eye. > She told me that her dad was loaded. > I said, “in that case I’ll have a rum and Coca Cola”. > She said “fine”. > And in thirty seconds’ time > She said, “I want to live like common people. > I want to do whatever common people do. > I want to sleep with common people. > I want to sleep with common people like you.” > > Well what else could I do? > I said “I’ll see what I can do.” > I took her to a supermarket. > I don’t know why, but I had to start it > Somewhere: > So it started there. > I said pretend you’ve got no money, > She just laughed and said “oh you’re so funny.” > I said yeah? Well I can’t see anyone else smiling in here. > > \ > > Rent a flat above a shop, > Cut your hair and get a job. > Smoke some fags and play some pool, > Pretend you never went to school. > But still you’ll never get it right > 'Cause when you’re laid in bed at night > Watching roaches climb the wall, > If you called your dad he could stop it all. > You’ll never live like common people. > You’ll never do what common people do. > You’ll never fail like common people. > You’ll never watch your life slide out of view, > And dance and drink and screw, > Because there’s nothing else to do. It brings a lump to my throat whenever I hear it. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/39 "2006-03-19T20:51:54Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Better still, how about Lehrer parodying Cole Porter: That’s Lehrer parodying W. S. Gilbert. He parodied Porter earlier in the song. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2006, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795/40 "2006-03-19T21:48:26Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > That’s Lehrer parodying W. S. Gilbert. He parodied Porter earlier in the song. Oh yes. Oops. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-most-creative-rhyming-couplet-in-a-song/348795.md?page=3)