# Best News Headline **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 27, 2010, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-news-headline/551620 "2010-08-27T02:45:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-news-headline/551620/1 "2010-08-27T02:45:40Z")
[Burning bush ignites Woodburn church](http://www.kgw.com/news/local/Burning-bush-ignites-Woodburn-church-101599443.html) ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-news-headline/551620/2 "2010-08-27T02:56:44Z")
From the old _St. Louis Sun_, referencing a man’s awkward attempt to seduce a woman in a bar. [He Bit Hers, So She Sued His](http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1990-04-21/news/9002020297_1_bite-toothsome-front-page) ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-news-headline/551620/3 "2010-08-27T05:16:49Z")
I think one of the best ever is the SF Examiner’s headline from 9/11 (OK, 9/12): [http://www.poynter.org/resource/public/20100712\_170115\_10491.jpg](http://www.poynter.org/resource/public/20100712_170115_10491.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-news-headline/551620/4 "2010-08-27T05:39:13Z")
The Smokin Joe’s boat beat the Budweiser boat in a hydroplane race. Our front page headline the next day… **Joe Smokes Bud** ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-news-headline/551620/5 "2010-08-27T06:25:25Z")
Two old favourites from WWII: \*\*Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans MacArthur Flies Back to Front\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-news-headline/551620/6 "2010-08-27T06:34:40Z")
[Headless Body In Topless Bar](http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/headless.jpg&imgrefurl=http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2008/06/guess_what_came_to_mesa_today.php&usg=__KXc5sfbtKaPLvarOg9n2G5hVw2M=&h=227&w=180&sz=21&hl=en&start=38&zoom=1&tbnid=HffnGqfPrE_wbM:&tbnh=164&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dfamous%2Bheadlines%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1440%26bih%3D667%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C505&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=150&vpy=345&dur=26&hovh=181&hovw=144&tx=60&ty=101&ei=T1x3TN3LJIeivQPomZHFBg&oei=gFt3TKiPHo24uQOuueCpCw&esq=2&page=2&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:38&biw=1440&bih=667) ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-news-headline/551620/7 "2010-08-27T06:46:29Z")
The Sun is an excellent source. One of its more famous headlines was [Gotcha](http://www.sterlingtimes.co.uk/gotcha1.htm). ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-news-headline/551620/8 "2010-08-27T08:48:27Z")
One of the true marks of brilliance where it comes to headlines is brevity: the ability of the subeditors to sum up the entire story in the minimum number of words. Which is why I love this one so much - there is really no way to sum up the story other than: [**Woman in sumo wrestler suit assaulted her ex-girlfriend in gay pub after she waved at man dressed as a Snickers bar**](http://www.crowaptok.com/images/best_headline_ever.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-news-headline/551620/9 "2010-08-27T09:55:22Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > [Headless Body In Topless Bar](http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/headless.jpg&imgrefurl=http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2008/06/guess_what_came_to_mesa_today.php&usg=__KXc5sfbtKaPLvarOg9n2G5hVw2M=&h=227&w=180&sz=21&hl=en&start=38&zoom=1&tbnid=HffnGqfPrE_wbM:&tbnh=164&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dfamous%2Bheadlines%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1440%26bih%3D667%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C505&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=150&vpy=345&dur=26&hovh=181&hovw=144&tx=60&ty=101&ei=T1x3TN3LJIeivQPomZHFBg&oei=gFt3TKiPHo24uQOuueCpCw&esq=2&page=2&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:38&biw=1440&bih=667) so … it is not a case of live nude girls? ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-news-headline/551620/10 "2010-08-27T10:51:28Z")
[Man put melon through ex-partner’s cat-flap](http://www.eveningnews24.co.uk/content/eveningnews24/norwich-news/story.aspx?brand=ENOnline&category=News&tBrand=ENOnline&tCategory=xNews&itemid=NOED23%20Feb%202010%2014:06:53:583) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-news-headline/551620/11 "2010-08-27T11:14:31Z")
**Ike Beats Tina To Death** ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-news-headline/551620/12 "2010-08-27T11:41:46Z")
The Sun has the best ones: Super Cally go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious Freddy Starr ate my hamster How do you solve a problem like Korea? Stick it up you Junta Wham Bam! Sam Cam to be mam (she’ll need a new pram) ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2010, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-news-headline/551620/13 "2010-08-27T13:54:49Z")
[Crack Found in Man’s Buttocks.](http://www.alanbaxteronline.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/headline1.jpg)