# Best newspaper headline puns

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-newspaper-headline-puns/126796>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [September 3, 2002, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-newspaper-headline-puns/126796 "2002-09-03T13:09:09Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-newspaper-headline-puns/126796/41 "2002-09-12T16:27:49Z")

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When I was in college working on the newspaper, we had an unintentional one that should have gotten us in trouble, but didn’t. There was a blackout the night before, so our headline on the front page was “Rutgers Blacks Out.”

:eek:

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**Author:** ![AuntPam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@AuntPam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntPam)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2002, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-newspaper-headline-puns/126796/42 "2002-09-12T19:30:30Z")

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What, no votes for the NY Daily News classic:

Headless Body Found in Topless Bar ???

And, not a headline, but local anchor Roger Grimsby announcing the death of Conrad Hilton just before a commercial break.

“America’s greatest hotel magnate passed away earlier today. That’s right: Conrad Hilton has checked out. We’ll be back with the story in just a minute…”

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**Author:** ![SpartanDC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b2d939/32.png) [@SpartanDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpartanDC)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2002, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-newspaper-headline-puns/126796/43 "2002-09-12T22:33:45Z")

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My college newspaper came ridiculously close to running the following two headlines. They even fit perfectly in their alloted spaces.

One was about a science-fiction writing workshop: “Sci-fi fanatic geeked about workshop”

The second requires more explanation. Two members of the debate team won awards at a big competition and in the story one of them pointed out how stereotypes about debaters weren’t true, saying, “we’re not all celibate dorks.”

The headline that came perilously close to running: “Master debaters ‘not all celibate dorks’”

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**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2002, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-newspaper-headline-puns/126796/44 "2002-09-12T23:50:19Z")

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AuntPam, that headline was so famous they made a movie with the title. 🙂

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**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2002, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-newspaper-headline-puns/126796/45 "2002-09-13T02:05:24Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> matt: not to put too fine a head on it, but the Link is a semiliterate rag.
> 
> I read the Concordian, myself.

Uh, how nice for you? 😕

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