# Best of Shakespeare monologues **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 24, 2004, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-shakespeare-monologues/236207 "2004-03-24T22:18:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2016, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-shakespeare-monologues/236207/41 "2016-02-21T15:24:58Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > Had zombies been a thing in his time and place, I bet he would have done it, and done it brilliantly! We just saw Pericles at the Guthrie. He did pirates. But no zombies or ninjas. (I’m not much of a Shakespeare scholar, but the third act was way better than the first two - almost like it was written by someone else). ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2016, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-shakespeare-monologues/236207/42 "2016-02-21T23:08:15Z")
> [@glee](#): > > From Richard II, Act 2, scene 1; spoken by John of Gaunt: > > This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle, > This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars, > This other Eden, demi-paradise, > This fortress built by Nature for herself > Against infection and the hand of war, > This happy breed of men, this little world, > This precious stone set in the silver sea, > Which serves it in the office of a wall > Or as a moat defensive to a house, > Against the envy of less happier lands, > This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England. That’s the bit that’s usually quoted, and it is inspiring, but the dramatic force of the speech - and occasional modern relevance, depending on your political point of view - lies in the bits that aren’t so often quoted: _Methinks I am a prophet new inspired And thus expiring do foretell of him: His rash fierce blaze of riot cannot last, For violent fires soon burn out themselves; Small showers last long, but sudden storms are short; He tires betimes that spurs too fast betimes; With eager feeding food doth choke the feeder: Light vanity, insatiate cormorant, Consuming means, soon preys upon itself. This royal throne of kings, this scepter’d isle, This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars, This other Eden, demi-paradise, This fortress built by Nature for herself Against infection and the hand of war, This happy breed of men, this little world, This precious stone set in the silver sea, Which serves it in the office of a wall, Or as a moat defensive to a house, Against the envy of less happier lands, This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England, This nurse, this teeming womb of royal kings, Fear’d by their breed and famous by their birth, Renowned for their deeds as far from home, For Christian service and true chivalry, As is the sepulchre in stubborn Jewry, Of the world’s ransom, blessed Mary’s Son, This land of such dear souls, this dear dear land, Dear for her reputation through the world, Is now leased out, I die pronouncing it, Like to a tenement or pelting farm: England, bound in with the triumphant sea Whose rocky shore beats back the envious siege Of watery Neptune, is now bound in with shame, With inky blots and rotten parchment bonds: That England, that was wont to conquer others, Hath made a shameful conquest of itself. Ah, would the scandal vanish with my life, How happy then were my ensuing death!_ ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2016, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-shakespeare-monologues/236207/43 "2016-02-21T23:26:46Z")
My favorite is Cassius’s monologue from Act I of _Julius Caesar_. It basically boils down to “Caesar? LOL, that guy’s a pussy.” It’s the same template used in modern political exposés that undermine candidates by digging up stupid and/or embarrassing incidents from long ago. I know that virtue to be in you, Brutus, As well as I do know your outward favor. Well, honor is the subject of my story. I cannot tell what you and other men Think of this life, but, for my single self, I had as lief not be as live to be In awe of such a thing as I myself. I was born free as Caesar, so were you; We both have fed as well, and we can both Endure the winter’s cold as well as he. For once, upon a raw and gusty day, The troubled Tiber chafing with her shores, Caesar said to me, “Darest thou, Cassius, now Leap in with me into this angry flood And swim to yonder point?” Upon the word, Accoutred as I was, I plunged in And bade him follow. So indeed he did. The torrent roar’d, and we did buffet it With lusty sinews, throwing it aside And stemming it with hearts of controversy. But ere we could arrive the point proposed, Caesar cried, "Help me, Cassius, or I sink! I, as Aeneas our great ancestor Did from the flames of Troy upon his shoulder The old Anchises bear, so from the waves of Tiber Did I the tired Caesar. And this man Is now become a god, and Cassius is A wretched creature and must bend his body If Caesar carelessly but nod on him. He had a fever when he was in Spain, And when the fit was on him I did mark How he did shake. 'Tis true, this god did shake; His coward lips did from their color fly, And that same eye whose bend doth awe the world Did lose his luster. I did hear him groan. Ay, and that tongue of his that bade the Romans Mark him and write his speeches in their books, Alas, it cried, “Give me some drink, Titinius,” As a sick girl. Ye gods! It doth amaze me A man of such a feeble temper should So get the start of the majestic world And bear the palm alone. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_wuzzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a8b319/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_wuzzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_wuzzy)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2016, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-shakespeare-monologues/236207/44 "2016-02-21T23:38:20Z")
King Lear: And the creature run from the cur? There thou mightst behold the great image of authority: a dog’s obeyed in office. Thou rascal beadle, hold thy bloody hand. Why dost thou lash that whore? Strip thine own back. Thou hotly lust’st to use her in that kind For which thou whipp’st her. The usurer hangs the cozener. Through tattered clothes great vices do appear; Robes and furred gowns hide all. Plate sin with gold, And the strong lance of justice hurtless breaks. Arm it in rags, a pigmy’s straw does pierce it. None does offend—none, I say, none. I’ll able ‘em. Take that of me, my friend, who have the power To seal th’ accuser’s lips. Get thee glass eyes, And like a scurvy politician seem To see the things thou dost not. Now, now, now, now, Pull off my boots. Harder, harder. So. ---
**Author:** ![Barrett\_Bonden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@Barrett\_Bonden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrett_Bonden)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2016, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-shakespeare-monologues/236207/45 "2016-02-22T00:17:20Z")
Cassius: Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world Like a Colossus, and we petty men Walk under his huge legs and peep about To find ourselves dishonorable graves. Men at some time are masters of their fates. The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars But in ourselves, that we are underlings. Brutus and Caesar—what should be in that “Caesar”? Why should that name be sounded more than yours? Write them together, yours is as fair a name. Sound them, it doth become the mouth as well. Weigh them, it is as heavy. Conjure with ‘em, “Brutus” will start a spirit as soon as “Caesar.” Now in the names of all the gods at once, Upon what meat doth this our Caesar feed That he is grown so great? Age, thou art shamed! Rome, thou hast lost the breed of noble bloods! When went there by an age, since the great flood, But it was famed with more than with one man? When could they say till now, that talked of Rome, That her wide walks encompassed but one man? Now is it Rome indeed, and room enough, When there is in it but one only man. Oh, you and I have heard our fathers say, There was a Brutus once that would have brooked Th’ eternal devil to keep his state in Rome As easily as a king. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2016, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-shakespeare-monologues/236207/46 "2016-02-22T13:32:55Z")
I’m surprised no one has yet mentioned this one, my own personal favorite, from Hamlet: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o’erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! In form, in moving, how express and admirable! In action how like an angel! In apprehension how like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me; no, nor woman neither, though, by your smiling, you seem to say so. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-shakespeare-monologues/236207.md?page=2)