# Best of the Helpless Females **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 12, 2006, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058 "2006-02-12T00:54:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/1 "2006-02-12T00:54:44Z")
It’s a cinematic staple: villain and hero grapple during a fight, rolling about, while the damsel stands there, hands to cheeks, shrieking, terrified, and the entire viewing audience mutters some variant of, “Geeze, girl, pick up a tire iron and hit the bad guy!” But no - they can only gasp and watch in horror. Whose performances best exemplify the helpless female? I always thought the actress that played Sgt. Murtagh’s daughter in the first “Lethal Weapon” was a good example of this. She has a chance to drive the limo away, but wastes precious seconds in horrified shrieking. Who else? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/2 "2006-02-12T00:57:47Z")
I’d’ve sworn this would be an **Evil Captor** thread… ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/3 "2006-02-12T01:21:41Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I’d’ve sworn this would be an **Evil Captor** thread… Me, too … 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mlerose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@mlerose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlerose)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/4 "2006-02-12T01:36:20Z")
Princess Buttercup in _The Princess Bride_, but that’s probably because she’s really a McGuffin and not a real, fleshed-out character. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/5 "2006-02-12T01:38:50Z")
To answer the OP’s question, I’d say the worst of the lot has to be “Spider Island,” a film that was deliciously sent up by the MST3K gang. It’s about a dozen or so chorus dancers on a trip to Hong Kong whose plane crashes on a mysterious island full of giant spiders. All but one or two of them do nothing but scream when danger presents itself. In scene after scene, slow-movig puppet spiders need only show themselves to women whose only possible response is screaming, despite the fact that they are almost all profesisonal dancers and hence in peak physical condition. Running away? Not an option for them, they’re just too helpless. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/6 "2006-02-12T01:49:10Z")
Jamie Lee Curtis in _True Lies_. She later redeams herself–albeit in Keystone Cops fashion–with a MAC-10. My favorite counter-example to this might be the Kathleen Turner in the otherwise badly-aged _Romancing The Stone_; while Michael Douglas is busy tussling with an allegator in trying to retrieve the eponymous stone, Turner takes on the villian single handedly, and by the time Douglas shows up to “save the day” she’s finished him off. The Steven Seagal film _Under Siege_ has some fun with this convention as well; that, and the over-the-top double teaming of the Gary Busey and Tommy Lee Jones almost offsets the fact that Seagal stars in the film. Personally, I prefer movies where the “damsel in distress” can hold her own; witness the otherwise excorable _Tomorrow Never Dies_, _Supercop_, _Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon_ (can you tell I have a Michelle Yeoh infatuation), and _Lethal Weapon 3_, in which Renee Russo’s character was the only redeaming quality (even though she does end up a helpless distressed damsel). Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/7 "2006-02-12T01:55:39Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > To answer the OP’s question, I’d say the worst of the lot has to be “Spider Island,” a film that was deliciously sent up by the MST3K gang. It’s about a dozen or so chorus dancers on a trip to Hong Kong whose plane crashes on a mysterious island full of giant spiders. All but one or two of them do nothing but scream when danger presents itself. In scene after scene, slow-movig puppet spiders need only show themselves to women whose only possible response is screaming, despite the fact that they are almost all profesisonal dancers and hence in peak physical condition. Running away? Not an option for them, they’re just too helpless. Don’t you know that women lack the fight or flight response and once you crash land on an island all you can do is giggle and writh? Its’ empirically proven. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/8 "2006-02-12T01:55:47Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > …and _Lethal Weapon 3_, in which Renee Russo’s character was the only redeeming quality (even though she does end up a helpless distressed damsel). This is the one that came to mind for me as well. “Need any help, honey?” “Nah. I’ve got it.” 😃 My all-time favorite Non=Helpless Female has to be Maureen O’Hara. Check any movie she did with The Duke. She’d go toe-to-toe with anybody. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/9 "2006-02-12T02:10:24Z")
How about the Archetype: \*\*Pearl White \*\* as Pauline in the Perils of Pauline Silent Film? I always thought \*\*Fay Wray \*\* in King Kong was an excellent Damsel in Distress. Was anybody ever more famous for screaming? She made several “B” Thrillers also where she was the Damsel in Distress. I saw the Original “Wax Museum” with her in it once and it was pretty good. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/10 "2006-02-12T02:16:03Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > This is the one that came to mind for me as well. > > “Need any help, honey?” > > “Nah. I’ve got it.” “Watch this, Rog. She’s got a gift.” Stranger ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/11 "2006-02-12T02:19:39Z")
I hate that about anime. Even if a female character is able to kick the average joe’s ass, the male characters are usually on such a higher level of skill that all she can do is play damsel in distress. Even shows that are more geared towards female audiences occasionally feature the protagonist shrieking in helpless terror. (Heck, _Sailor Moon_ even parodied this with having it be one of Usagi’s powers.) Lots of video games are guilty of this, too, but the ones that are among the least logical have got to be the Final Fantasy series, where the females can call forth enough firepower to level small cities but still need to be rescued by the hero at some point in the game. (Rinoa, I’m looking at you.) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/12 "2006-02-12T02:19:56Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > I always thought \*\*Fay Wray \*\* in King Kong was an excellent Damsel in Distress. > Was anybody ever more famous for screaming? Plus, unlike your typical DID who **could** do something if she had an ounce of common sense, Anne Darrow is pretty much at the mercy of a thirty-ton gorilla. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/13 "2006-02-12T02:39:24Z")
Dominique Dunne in Poltergeist. But, she does have one of the best screams ever near the end of the movie. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/14 "2006-02-12T02:49:49Z")
The best screamer who ever appeared on film, [Ola Ray](http://www.mjj.altervista.org/immagini/gallerie/MJ_VIP/images/MJ%20&%20Ola%20Ray_jpg.jpg). All she did was scream (and HOW she screamed) and run INTO a rotting old house. I also found, while image googling for a photo, that she was quite willing to doff clothing if the role called for it. And even if it didn’t, apparently… ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/15 "2006-02-12T09:50:10Z")
Ah yes, Ola Ray. aka Miss June 1980, aka the _Thriller_ girl. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/16 "2006-02-12T20:01:32Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > (can you tell I have a Michelle Yeoh infatuation) Not a bad infatuation to have. And since you mentioned her, if I recall correctly, Jackie Chan had to be talked into co-starring with her in _Police Story III_ (released in the US as _Supercop_) because he doesn’t think women should fight. See Maggie Cheung in the _Police Story_ movies. Have you seen any of Yeoh’s other Hong Kong vehicles? _Project S_, _Wing Chun_, _Tai Chi Master_, etc? The last is probably the best film, in which she co-stars with Jet Li, but she gets sidelined for the final battle, unfortunately. _Yes Madam_ is also a lot of fun, if extremely dated and cheesy. (Can you tell I have the same infatuation?) ---
**Author:** ![ninevah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/46a35a/32.png) [@ninevah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ninevah)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/17 "2006-02-13T01:15:25Z")
I think Kate Capshaw’s character, Willie Scott, in [Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087469/) is also worthy of mention. She’s the weakest of Indy’s leading ladies. ---
**Author:** ![matt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@matt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/18 "2006-02-13T11:04:18Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > (can you tell I have a Michelle Yeoh infatuation?) > [@Cervaise](#): > > (Can you tell I have the same infatuation?) Me too! I _loathe_ the helpless female stereotype; it’s the sort of thing that makes me shout at the TV. The main reason **For Your Eyes Only** is my favourite Bond movie is that Melina Havelock saves Bond’s life in their first encounter, right after she’d killed the asassin who murdered her parents. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/19 "2006-02-13T11:25:17Z")
I can’t recall if she was “helpless” or not, but Nicole Kidman’s run as _teh_ dumb blonde nuclear scientist in _The Peacemaker_ just astounded me. I mean willingness to take off your shirt in a movie is one thing, but personally it felt like it was one of the greatest bits of female actress whoring I had ever witnessed. ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2006, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058/20 "2006-02-13T13:08:20Z")
> [@dotchan](#): > > Lots of video games are guilty of this, too, but the ones that are among the least logical have got to be the Final Fantasy series, where the females can call forth enough firepower to level small cities but still need to be rescued by the hero at some point in the game. (Rinoa, I’m looking at you.) You’re talking about the same series of games where you can destroy the planet and still have to save it from the flaming meteor afterwards. As for anime, DBZ and Ranma 1/2 really bug me for this–all the really powerful characters are guys. Videl, Chi-Chi, Akane and Shampoo are all quite strong in their own right, but are rather out-classed by the male characters. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-of-the-helpless-females/344058.md?page=2)