# Best opening monologue to a movie or tv series **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 3, 2021, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728 "2021-11-03T15:12:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/21 "2021-11-03T16:47:25Z")
I, too, liked the opening monologue from **Patton**. when we would play chess, my friend put on Jerry Goldsmith’s film score for Patton (it seemed appropriate), and the album opened with the monolog, so I had it memorized in a short time. I was surprised years later when I heard a recording of an actual speech by Patton and recognized many phrases from the George C. Scott opening. Evidently the speech wasn’t a verbatim Patton speech, but used elements he actually said. For other opening monologues, I think the one by Cate Blanchett as Galadriel for Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings does a great job in setting up the situation. And, on the extended cut, it’s followed by a second opening monologue by Ian Holm as Bilbo Baggins discoursing on Hobbits > **[Lord Of The Rings opening monologue | Edge Studio](https://edgestudio.com/script/lord-of-the-rings-opening-monologue/)** > > Galadriel: (speaking partly in Elvish) (I amar prestar aen.) The world is changed. (Han matho ne nen.) I feel it \[...\] [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/vOulsEGvSCo/maxresdefault.jpg "LOTR The Fellowship of the Ring - Galadriel's prologue - Blu Ray HD") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOulsEGvSCo) [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/-PcUnqlPA8A/maxresdefault.jpg "LOTR The Fellowship of the Ring - Extended Edition - Concerning Hobbits") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PcUnqlPA8A) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/22 "2021-11-03T16:48:26Z")
In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help — and if you can find them — maybe you can hire The A-Team. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/23 "2021-11-03T16:51:04Z")
Also, considering that the third film version of **Dune** is just out, I have to admit that I liked Virginia Madsen doing the opening narration as Princess Irulan to David Lynch’s 1984 edition [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/k1h3UjbuOtc/maxresdefault.jpg "Dune (1984) - Intro - Opening Credits - Princess Irulan [HD]") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1h3UjbuOtc) It’s better than the gravelly-voiced guy doing the introduction to the “Alan Smithee” TV cut > **[r/dune - Dune - 1984 Alan Smithee Extended Version - Intro Painted Stills](https://www.reddit.com/r/dune/comments/4icvan/dune_1984_alan_smithee_extended_version_intro/)** > > 32 votes and 13 comments so far on Reddit ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/24 "2021-11-03T17:15:41Z")
_Field of Dreams_. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/25 "2021-11-03T17:24:20Z")
_ **Apocalypse Now** _ “Saigon. Fucking Saigon.” Three words that pretty much set the mood for the rest of the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Skunkdog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c2a13f/32.png) [@Skunkdog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skunkdog)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/26 "2021-11-03T17:28:58Z")
“I am not a bum. I’m a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends, and… uh… my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child.” Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin) - “The Jerk” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/27 "2021-11-03T17:38:26Z")
The whole monologue is great. WILLARD (v.o.) _"Saigon, shit. I’m still only in Saigon. Every time I think I’m going to_ _wake up back in the jungle. When I was home after my first tour,_ _it was worse. I’d wake up and there’d be nothing…_ _I hardly said a word to my wife until I said yes to a divorce._ _When I was here I wanted to be there. When I was there, all I_ _could think of was getting back into the jungle._ _I’ve been here a week now. Waiting for a mission, getting_ _softer. Every minute I stay in this room I get weaker. And every minute Charlie squats in the bush he gets stronger._ _Each time I look around the walls move in a little tighter._ _Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a mission, and for my sins they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service. "_ ---
**Author:** ![Kelevra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/97f17d/32.png) [@Kelevra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelevra)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/28 "2021-11-03T17:58:21Z")
Fight Club. The opening monologue is long and broken up but starts with… "_With a gun barrel between your teeth you only speak in vowels."_ My favorite part that I often quote is “_If I did have a tumor, I’d name it Marla._.” ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/29 "2021-11-03T18:14:53Z")
[Trainspotting](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaP7qmsQbSI) for me, to the tune of “Lust for Life”, by Iggy Pop: > Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disk players and electric tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fix-interest mortgage repaiments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are in that Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that coach watching spirit crushing game shows stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home nothing more than an embarrasment to the selfish fucked up brats that you’ve spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life. > But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you got heroin. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/30 "2021-11-03T18:29:33Z")
> For more than a year, ominous rumors had been privately circulating among high-level Western leaders that the Soviet Union had been at work on what was darkly hinted to be the ultimate weapon: a doomsday device. Intelligence sources traced the site of the top secret Russian project to the perpetually fog-shrouded wasteland below the Arctic peaks of the Zhokhov Islands. What they were building or why it should be located in such a remote and desolate place no one could say… cue Try a Little Tenderness ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/31 "2021-11-03T18:39:19Z")
" In a hole, in the ground there lived a hobbit." [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/2Fw0lEaxiVs/hqdefault.jpg "The Hobbit 1977 Intro Rankin/Bass.mov") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fw0lEaxiVs) ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/32 "2021-11-03T18:46:42Z")
> [@Turek](#): > > Mad Max 2/The Road Warrior: Hah, I came here to quote [Fury Road:](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgIWIYcFkEM) > My name is Max. My world is fire and blood. Once, I was a cop. A road warrior searching for a righteous cause. As the world fell, each of us in our own way was broken. It was hard to know who was more crazy… me… or everyone else. > > Here they come again… worming their way into the black matter of my brain. I tell myself, they cannot touch me. They are long dead. > > I am the one who runs from both the living and the dead. Hunted by scavengers, haunted by those I could not protect. So I exist in this wasteland, a man reduced to a single instinct: _survive_. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/33 "2021-11-03T18:54:21Z")
I watch way too many cartoons, I know this by heart. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/OjS6B4KuPY0/hqdefault.jpg "The original Superman cartoon opening") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjS6B4KuPY0) ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/34 "2021-11-03T19:00:39Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > Steve Austin, astronaut. A man barely alive. Hell yeah! Also from about that time period is “Once upon a time, there were three little girls…” Memorable, but not one of my personal favorites. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/35 "2021-11-03T19:01:15Z")
One of my favorites is the prologue to _Blood Simple_, spoken by M. Emmet Walsh over shots of desolate Texas landscapes. “Down here, you’re on your own.” ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/36 "2021-11-03T19:03:30Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > _The Big Lebowski:_ > > “A Way out west there was a fella, fella I want to tell you about, fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least, that was the handle his lovin’ parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. This Lebowski, he called himself the Dude. Now, Dude, that’s a name that no one would self-apply where I came from. But then, there was a lot about the dude that didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. And a lot about where he lived, like-wise. But then again, maybe that’s why I found the place so darned interesting.” > > Took Sam Elliot to sell it. This is my choice too. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/37 "2021-11-03T19:07:44Z")
Quantum Leap: > [@](#): > > Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the quantum leap accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own, and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so, Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/38 "2021-11-03T19:07:45Z")
> [@Turek](#): > > Mad Max 2/The Road Warrior: > > > My life fades. The vision dims. All that remains are memories. I remember a time of chaos. Ruined dreams. This wasted land. But most of all, I remember the Road Warrior. The man we called “Max”. It gets even better when you learn, at the end, that these eloquent words are spoken by the (grown-up) Feral Kid. > [@CalMeacham](#): > > Also, considering that the third film version of **Dune** is just out, I have to admit that I liked Virginia Madsen doing the opening narration as Princess Irulan to David Lynch’s 1984 edition I like that one, too. “Oh, yes—I forgot to tell you…” ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/39 "2021-11-03T19:20:25Z")
Anytime I try to explain the premise of Quantum Leap to someone, I just go ahead and recite this. I don’t think it can be done any better. My favorite is the prologue to Little Shop of Horrors, because we say it every year on my son’s birthday. 🙂 > On the twenty-third day of the month of September > > in an early year of a decade not too long before our own, > > the human race suddenly encountered a deadly > > threat to its very existence. > > And this terrifying enemy surfaced, > > as such enemies often do, > > in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places. ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2021, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728/40 "2021-11-03T19:22:57Z")
If sailor tales and sailor tunes, Storm and adventure, heat and cold, If schooners, islands and maroons And buccaneers and buried gold, And all the old romance retold Exactly in the ancient way Can please as me they pleased of old The wiser youngsters of today… [So be it! Ar-har! And fall on!](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adventures_of_Long_John_Silver) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-opening-monologue-to-a-movie-or-tv-series/953728.md?page=3)