# Best Pickup Line Ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2009, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875 "2009-07-13T17:47:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/21 "2009-07-14T18:41:54Z")
I had a friend who used “Hey, wanna be my next ex-wife?” Nope, it never worked. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/22 "2009-07-14T20:42:01Z")
> [@Jsb5391](#): > > And, while approaching with a folded napkin or something similar, “Does this smell like chloroform to you?” Damn, damn, damn, that’s my favorite, and I came in to post it. Oh well. Mom’s favorite she ever had used on her: “Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?” Other terrible groaners: Did it hurt? (What?) When you fell down from heaven. Are your legs tired? 'Cause you’ve been running through my head all night. Is there a mirror in your pants? 'Cause I can see myself in them. Well fuck me if your name isn’t Gertrude! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/23 "2009-07-15T06:20:47Z")
For the worst pickup lines, see: [Nuklear Power » Archive » Episode 024: “She’s a White Magic Woman.”](http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/05/03/episode-024-shes-a-white-magic-woman/) and keep clicking “next” (there’s an explosion page immediately after the first page, just ignore it) until the Black Mage actually gets the White Mage to agree to join his party. This webcomic is extremely geeky. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/24 "2009-07-15T06:35:36Z")
> [@SunSandSuffering](#): > > Do you want to talk about the weather, love? Aye, whether you’re going to suck us off tonight… _THIS_ is classic! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/25 "2009-07-15T12:56:11Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Mom’s favorite she ever had used on her: “Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?” I can’t believe your dad would use something like that. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/26 "2009-07-15T14:59:42Z")
I keep trying my favorite line but it never works. I wait until I catch some woman checking me out and then say: What the fuck are you looking at? ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/27 "2009-07-15T16:29:22Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I can’t believe your dad would use something like that. It was a stranger in a bar. Whom she allegedly did not go home with… Allegedly. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/28 "2009-07-15T16:37:26Z")
Ivylad tells a story of one of his friend’s hitting on a girl at a bar. She apparently turned him down, to which he yelled at the top of his lungs “Are you nuts? $100 for a blowjob?!” before returning to his buddies. I thought that was pretty rude. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/29 "2009-07-15T16:50:15Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > I keep trying my favorite line but it never works. I wait until I catch some woman checking me out and then say: > > What the fuck are you looking at? I’ve heard of a variation on that that supposedly works really well. “Why are checking me out like I’m some kind of piece of meat? I have a mind, you know!” There’s another variation that I use in places where people wear name tags. “Hello, my eyes are UP HERE.” It works pretty well, too, unless the woman doesn’t get the joke. Which is about half of the time. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/30 "2009-07-15T18:03:49Z")
I had a good comeback once. The guy said “Want to go out for breakfast tomorrow?” Sould I call you or just nudge you?" Without missing a beat I said “Write me” I wish I was always that quick on the uptake. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/31 "2009-07-15T19:09:51Z")
“You don’t sweat much for a fat girl.” Works like a charm! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/32 "2009-07-15T19:22:54Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > This is an exchange between my then 6yo boy and a 16yo cutie and her friend at the pool: > > Son: “Do you think I’m ugly” > > Cutie: “OH NO! I think you’re cute” > > Son: “Well, can I have a hug? And can I get one from your friend too?” > > [both girls proceed to hug my son] > > Me: [wipes single tear drop from cheek] I can see my kid using that one in a couple of years. Not quite 2 years old, and he’s already an incorrigible flirt. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/33 "2009-07-15T19:28:32Z")
> [@Mahna\_Mahna](#): > > Personally, this one is my favourite: > > And yes, this was actually used on me - though thankfully, it was just the once and was totally done tongue-in-cheek. > > (I have to admit, I kind of like the booger line used by **Jsb5391** ’s friend, tho) The most outrageous one that was once used on me : She : “Look at this. This is an icecube.” Me : “Whu ?!” _smashes the icecube on the bar_ She : “There. I broke the ice. What’s your name ?” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/34 "2009-07-15T19:29:33Z")
**SHAKES** ’ post makes me wonder how young is too young to get issued a Man Card. ---
**Author:** ![Soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/35 "2009-07-15T19:42:59Z")
Step one: Achieve erection. Step two: With a serious look, approach target. Step three: “Look, we need to get something straight between us.” ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/36 "2009-07-15T19:56:20Z")
I never used to use a pick-up line. What I did was stare at a girl, then lick my eyebrows. They went home with me very time. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/37 "2009-07-15T20:59:05Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > I can see my kid using that one in a couple of years. Not quite 2 years old, and he’s already an incorrigible flirt. Mine, who is 4-3/4, just went for the gusto. “Hey! I have an idea! How about some kisses?” Unfortunately, the girls’ (there were 2) father was there and he countered with, “How about some High-5s instead?” ---
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/38 "2009-07-15T21:19:29Z")
I was always too shy to use pickup lines, but my bar-hoppin’ buddy back in the day would walk right up to whichever girl he was interested in and say, “Hi, I’m Andy. I couldn’t help but notice you checking me out from across the club…” Worked almost every time. ---
**Author:** ![coffinjumper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@coffinjumper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffinjumper)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/39 "2009-07-15T23:31:20Z")
Favorite one I’ve ever seen was written on a card he was carrying around. “Hi my name is \_\_\_\_\_\_. Smile if you want to have sex with me.” It’s very hard not to… ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2009, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875/40 "2009-07-16T00:07:08Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Ivylad tells a story of one of his friend’s hitting on a girl at a bar. She apparently turned him down, to which he yelled at the top of his lungs “Are you nuts? $100 for a blowjob?!” before returning to his buddies. I thought that was pretty rude. I think he played it wrong. After making small talk, and not asking her for a date, that’s when he should have, in mock outrage, shouted, “A hundred bucks?!”, and **not** walked away. I’ve seen that one work twice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/502875.md?page=3)