# BEST PICKUP LINE EVER **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2001, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116 "2001-01-21T07:56:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Iguana\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@Iguana\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iguana_Boy)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/21 "2001-01-21T18:33:17Z")
Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I? How can you deny a child life by not sleeping with me? You don’t sweat much for a fat lass! ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/22 "2001-01-21T19:52:38Z")
“My mood ring says I’m horny!” ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/23 "2001-01-21T20:11:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silly Rabbit \* > \*\*[sultry voice] > I am completely naked under these clothes… > [/sultry voice] > > \*\* I imagine you are. 😃 Getting back to the OP: "I’m not trying to pick you up, I’m trying to pick you **out.** ---
**Author:** ![madmark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@madmark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmark)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/24 "2001-01-21T22:56:07Z")
as seen in the Aussie movie “Wogboy” (oh, and this IS a guys line) " I believe you are what you eat, and tomorrow, I intend to be you " ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/25 "2001-01-21T23:31:51Z")
You can have fun with this one, especially with frosty females: “If you’re interested in me sexually, please pretend otherwise so I’ll know”. If you want a serious answer, in most regular situations this speech is hard to beat: “Hi, we don’t know each other, and maybe in five minutes we’ll both decide that’s fine. But I thought you looked interesting and likeable, so I’ve had the courage to at least come over, say hi, and see what it’s like to talk to you. Given that I’m not a creep or a nutcase, I wash every day and I promise not to talk about myself all the time, will you at least take a chance and let me buy you a drink?”. Too wordy? Try this: “Hi, I’d like to chat you up. It takes about five minutes and it’s more fun if you join in. So, how are you?”. “Hi. I’ll go away again if you want to sleep with me. Do you?” ---
**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/26 "2001-01-21T23:43:28Z")
My Favorite: Nice shoes… wanna fuck? Has **YET** to work 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/27 "2001-01-21T23:51:52Z")
**Molson** sweet jesus, that was the funniest thing i’ve read all day **Pez** , i’ve been there friend. I never works, but it’s so much fun dodging the fist… As for the rest of you, well, what can i say, i’m impressed ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/28 "2001-01-22T00:06:00Z")
(Psst, I think this thread should be titled cheesy pickup lines.) ;)… Anyway… > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefWahoo \* > \*\*Richard Feynman, the genius American physicist, insists in one of his books that the best way to get laid is to ask the woman if she’ll sleep with you. Pretty radical idea, eh? The trick, he says, is that you _must_ do this before you have bought her anything.i.e. a drink, dinner, etc. \*\* Yeah, well he was doing that back in the 60s. It doesn’t work as well these days, though if you have the right personality you can pull it off. The one I like…it’s worked good too, is: “Hello, I’m xxxxx I couldn’t think of a pickup line so I thought I’d just introduce myself.” ---
**Author:** ![Xploder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a183cd/32.png) [@Xploder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xploder)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/29 "2001-01-22T00:54:13Z")
While incredibly drunk one night In Germany, I actually asked a girl… Would you care to share this bottle of Dom Perignon with me? What was strange was that the two guys I was with were just as drunk as me and we **had** a bottle on the table at the time… I just wish I could remember if she ever responded… Such is life…dammit… ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/30 "2001-01-22T04:03:06Z")
I thought of this one in the 10th grade… “Hey, my dick doesn’t suck itself!” …It hasn’t worked yet! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![peepthis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@peepthis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peepthis)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/31 "2001-01-22T06:26:58Z")
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants. Hmmm. Still working up the nerve to actually use it some day. ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/32 "2001-01-22T14:30:43Z")
1. Let’s play army. I’ll lay down and you blow the hell out of me. 2. Wanna go back to my place for pizza and a fuck? ::slap:: What? You don’t like pizza? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/33 "2001-01-22T16:25:56Z")
Hello, I was just undressing you with my eyes and seem to have abraided my cornea on your zipper. Shared liability dictates that you should at least help me get home and into bed. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/34 "2001-01-22T16:46:39Z")
jarbaby: You like apples? (designated man, let’s say…oh, Coldfire): Sure! jarbaby: How about we go back to my place and fuck? How you like them apples? or jarbaby: hey Coldfire, nice shoulders! Mind if I wrap my legs around 'em? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/35 "2001-01-22T18:57:33Z")
**UncleBill:** “Why sure, I’ll go to bed with you!” (Oh, wait, that was my reply to HER pickup line!) 🙂 Life is good. ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/36 "2001-01-22T19:20:02Z")
Hey baby, wanna wrestle? ---
**Author:** ![Lowellster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Lowellster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lowellster)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/37 "2001-01-22T19:33:42Z")
My personal best is “Hey babe, I’ve got a whole box of condoms that’s about to expire.” Although I guess I wouldn’t say it’s been highly effective. A friend of mine swears by “Please don’t hurt me. I’m very vulnerable right now.” Come to think of it, he’s single too… ---
**Author:** ![idiotboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@idiotboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/idiotboy)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/38 "2001-01-22T19:41:44Z")
[Monty Python] Do You WAAAAANT, to come back to my place…bouncy bouncy! [/Monty Python] ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/39 "2001-01-22T20:08:29Z")
I’m looking for my new girlfriend, are you her? Are you planning to get laid tonight? (answer yes or no) I’d like to discuss your plans if you don’t mind. Can you achieve orgasm though standard penile-vaginal coitus, or do you require direct clitoral stimulation of some sort? (I swear I asked a woman this when she said I couldn’t embarrass her. Didn’t get laid, but she blushed and ran off, a small victory nonetheless) ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116/40 "2001-01-22T21:19:36Z")
I have a cool name IRL (Justus), so this one works particularly well if a hot lady talk to me. Her: What’s your name? Me: Justus. Her: Cool name. Me: If you like that, you should hear my number. Of course there’s always: “I’m too drunk to fuck, but you’re not.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-line-ever/51116.md?page=3)