# Best pickup lines **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 17, 2003, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982 "2003-10-17T12:47:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/1 "2003-10-17T12:47:46Z")
Hey babe, how about we go to my house and make a movie? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/2 "2003-10-17T14:52:44Z")
Yo daddy must be a terrorist, cuz baby, you da bomb! ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/3 "2003-10-17T14:55:49Z")
Are you tired? 'Cause you’ve been running through my mind all night! ---
**Author:** ![KingLupid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/839c29/32.png) [@KingLupid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KingLupid)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/4 "2003-10-17T15:21:47Z")
I’m not a doctor, but I play one in bed. I don’t know much algebra, but I do know that U+I = 69 Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them! and my all time favorite pick up line…kinda dirty, be warned. I can tell by the look in your eye that you are wondering what my cum tastes like. ---
**Author:** ![Ivar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ivar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ivar)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/5 "2003-10-17T15:56:48Z")
When I’m around you, I feel like I’m at a Scorpions concert… cuz you Rock me like Hurricane! ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/6 "2003-10-17T16:19:36Z")
When asked what his best pick-up line was, Hugh Hefner replied: “Hi, my name is Hugh Hefner”. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/7 "2003-10-17T16:38:15Z")
From my dad, who apparently got slapped a lot… [approach girl, put hand on her shoulder] “Is this shirt cotton, or can it be felt?” ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/8 "2003-10-17T18:42:45Z")
If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/9 "2003-10-17T19:32:20Z")
I AM WANT TO MAKIGN FUCK AT JOO; YEES? ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/10 "2003-10-17T21:44:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KingLupid \* > \*\*I can tell by the look in your eye that you are wondering what my cum tastes like. \*\* If there is proof this line ever worked then I’m using it this weekend. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/11 "2003-10-18T00:16:28Z")
“Nice boots. Wanna fuck?” ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2003, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/12 "2003-10-18T00:19:57Z")
“If I told you you had a beautiful body … would you take off your shirt and dance around a bit?” --Zapf Brannigan ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/13 "2003-10-18T00:32:54Z")
“Has anybody every told you you have Yugoslavian hands? No, of course not, that doesn’t make any sense. Forget I said it.” – Weird Al Yankovic, “I Want 2 Be Ur Luvr” (paraphrased) ---
**Author:** ![jormundgondir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@jormundgondir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jormundgondir)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/14 "2003-10-18T00:38:49Z")
The more I drink, the better you look. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? Hey, I’m gonna go outside and make out; care to join me? Now, this might sound like a cliche, but there actually _is_ a party in my pants, and you are, in fact, invited… I wish you were a pony carousel so I could ride you all day for a quarter. ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/15 "2003-10-18T00:54:18Z")
_Some unreconstructed lines_ My personal favourite: “Get your coat love, you’ve pulled.” Is that a ladder in your tights, or a stairway to heaven? Should I call you in the morning, or just nudge you? How do you like your eggs? Fertilised? Do you have any British in you? Would you like some? Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No? Do you want to do lunch? Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face. You’re ugly, but you intrigue me. Lick your finger and touch the person, touch yourself with it and say, “Let’s you and me get out of these wet clothes.” You don’t sweat much for a fat chick. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together. Did you know that there are 265 bones inside of your body? I could show you how to get one more. (said staring at chest) Can I buy you and your two friends a drink? The name’s **Crusoe**. Get used to it; you’ll be screaming it later. Those jeans are very becoming on you. Then again, if I was on you, I’d becoming too. And, from a very old comedy email – the top sci-fi pickup lines: > [@](#): > > “Someone must have shot you with a phaser set on ‘stunning.’” > > “I can’t help it – my eyes are trapped in the gravitational field of your > breasts!!” > > “Nice Asimov.” > > “Not only can I beam you aboard, I can beam you a woody.” > > “W-w-w-w-w-wo-would y-y-y-y-you g-g-g-g-go o-o-out w-w-w-w… ah, screw it.” > > “Is that Shai-Hulud, the life-giving spice-producing god-worm in your > pocket, or are you just glad to see me?” > > “Earth woman, prepare to be probed!” > > “Forgive my Kirk-like boldness, but you wanna go back to my mom’s place and watch ‘Dr. Who’?” > > “How 'bout I slip into something more comfortable… like these STAR TREK VOYAGER pajamas!” > > “I’m the droid you’re looking for.” > > “Is that a spare Vulcan ear in your pocket or… well, I’m just asking > because some jerk in the parking lot pulled off one of my Vulcan ears.” > > “Hey, baby. I own Microsoft.” > > “Your mouth says, ‘Shields up!’, but your eyes say, ‘A hull breach is > imminent.’” > > “I sense something… a presence I’ve not felt since I saw you bend over the registration table.” > > “If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you watch me masturbate while I download pictures of Jeri Ryan?” ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/16 "2003-10-18T00:54:34Z")
Hi, you must be from Tennessee, 'cause you’re the only ten I see. ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/17 "2003-10-18T01:03:05Z")
_Some unreconstructed lines_ My personal favourite: “Get your coat love, you’ve pulled.” Is that a ladder in your tights, or a stairway to heaven? Should I call you in the morning, or just nudge you? How do you like your eggs? Fertilised? Do you have any British in you? Would you like some? Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No? Do you want to do lunch? Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face. You’re ugly, but you intrigue me. Lick your finger and touch the person, touch yourself with it and say, “Let’s you and me get out of these wet clothes.” You don’t sweat much for a fat chick. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together. Did you know that there are 265 bones inside of your body? I could show you how to get one more. (said staring at chest) Can I buy you and your two friends a drink? The name’s **Crusoe**. Get used to it; you’ll be screaming it later. Those jeans are very becoming on you. Then again, if I was on you, I’d becoming too. And, from a very old comedy email – the top sci-fi pickup lines: > [@](#): > > “Someone must have shot you with a phaser set on ‘stunning.’” > > “I can’t help it – my eyes are trapped in the gravitational field of your > breasts!!” > > “Nice Asimov.” > > “Not only can I beam you aboard, I can beam you a woody.” > > “W-w-w-w-w-wo-would y-y-y-y-you g-g-g-g-go o-o-out w-w-w-w… ah, screw it.” > > “Is that Shai-Hulud, the life-giving spice-producing god-worm in your > pocket, or are you just glad to see me?” > > “Earth woman, prepare to be probed!” > > “Forgive my Kirk-like boldness, but you wanna go back to my mom’s place and watch ‘Dr. Who’?” > > “How 'bout I slip into something more comfortable… like these STAR TREK VOYAGER pajamas!” > > “I’m the droid you’re looking for.” > > “Is that a spare Vulcan ear in your pocket or… well, I’m just asking > because some jerk in the parking lot pulled off one of my Vulcan ears.” > > “Hey, baby. I own Microsoft.” > > “Your mouth says, ‘Shields up!’, but your eyes say, ‘A hull breach is > imminent.’” > > “I sense something… a presence I’ve not felt since I saw you bend over the registration table.” > > “If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you watch me masturbate while I download pictures of Jeri Ryan?” ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2003, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/18 "2003-10-18T01:14:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John Mace \* > \*\*When asked what his best pick-up line was, Hugh Hefner replied: > > “Hi, my name is Hugh Hefner”. \*\* When Wesley Snipes was asked this same question, his answer was: “Hi, my name is Eddie Murphy.” ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/19 "2003-10-18T02:37:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crusoe \* > **How do you like your eggs? Fertilised?** _Offering_ to use inadequate contraception? Somehow, even in the midst of these other pickup lines, it seems like that line would probably go over about as well as: “Hey, baby, do you have herpes? Would you like some?” ---
**Author:** ![Bluesman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/97f17d/32.png) [@Bluesman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluesman)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2003, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982/20 "2003-10-18T10:02:51Z")
“If you sleep with me, I’ll give your husband a raise.” “Do you mind if we go to your place? Mine is still full of DEA agents.” “You’re pretty when you smile. If you sit on my face, I’ll make you grin like a mule eating briars.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-pickup-lines/207982.md?page=2)