# best profession for picking up people in a bar **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 2, 2000, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754 "2000-12-02T21:24:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/21 "2000-12-04T02:11:50Z")
Montfort - being a moderator at the SDMB only works well at Mensa meetings. I kinda liked Enderw23’s suggestion except that of course it was spoiled by Frankd6. I have another idea though (obviously not as good as the OP): voice talent cast director for the Simpsons. No one knows who that is, and you can dangle in front of them the promise that they can make a voice appearance as Bart Simpsons’s new girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/22 "2000-12-04T05:39:22Z")
Drug dealer. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/23 "2000-12-04T13:49:14Z")
Around here, we describe a certain kind of bar as “the kind of place where the best pickup line is ‘when I was in law school…’” Of course, the bar down the street the best pickup line is “when I was in prison…” so it probably depends a lot on the bar. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/24 "2000-12-04T13:59:32Z")
A friend of mine studied in Zaragoza for a year, and always tried to pull the “I’m a Dutch F-16 pilot” schtick. Worked like a charm, until he tried it on one particularly handsome Spanish lady, whose **boyfriend** turned out to be an F-16 pilot. He also turned out to be standing next to her, and was immediately all over him with all sorts of technical questions that aren’t exactly covered in FlightSimulator 2.0 😃 Double bummer. Nick Mason, crap as he may be, is well known enough. That wouldn’t work. Talk about a guy who met the right people at the right time though. Isn’t this known as the _Ringo Starr Syndrome_? No talent, right friends. I’m guessing that Formula One driver might actually turn some of the wimmins on. Right, ladies? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/25 "2000-12-04T14:14:55Z")
Yeah, right. If you told women in bars that you were the drummer for Pink Floyd, they’d probably offer to stand you to a Geritol. Here, let me sing you a little song… \*To please both my parents I’ve had to give over And dance with the doctors and merchants and lawyers Their manners are fine But their feet are unsure So I’d much rather dance with my **Log Driver!** For he goes twirling, twirling down white water That’s how the **Log Driver** learns to step lightly In twirling, twirling down the river The **Log Driver** ’s Waltz pleases girls completely.\* ---
**Author:** ![Zumba\_The\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/779978/32.png) [@Zumba\_The\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zumba_The_Cat)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/26 "2000-12-04T14:40:27Z")
I once had a man in a bar try to pick me and two of my friends up by saying that he was a school teacher on Dawson’s Creek. He could have been since Dawson’s Creek is filmed in my town. But, I don’t know why a 55 year old man would think that would enable him to pick up three 23 year old women even if it were true. I have never been easy to pick up in a bar, but Moderator of SDMB would be very likely to catch my attention. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/27 "2000-12-04T14:59:57Z")
Claiming to be the drummer for Pink Floyd isn’t really going to work. However, you could always claim to be one of the several musicians that tour with them. From the liner notes for _Pulse_ which was from their last tour in '95, these people are: Sam Brown - Backing Vocals Jon Carin - Keyboards, Vocals Claudia Fontaine - Backing Vocals Durga McBroom - Backing Vocals Dick Parry - Saxophones Guy Pratt - Bass, Vocals Tim Renwick - Guitars, Vocals Gary Wallis - Percussion As for Nick Mason’s alleged lack of talent, what about his excellent leading vocal in “One of these Days”? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/28 "2000-12-04T15:25:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > \*\*Never tested this, but I think that if I walked into a bar and announced that I’m a lesbian, I might have a few guys lining up… \*\* Well if you were a professional lesbian… But I’ll go with weight lifter. (I have never picked up any one in a bar. I was picked up and dropped once though) ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/29 "2000-12-04T16:25:37Z")
Yeeeeeees, Nick Mason is 54 years old and probably wouldn’t be picking up college girls. And yeeeeeees, many people know the name Nick Mason. and yeeeeeeeeeeeeees, many people will realize that you’re not Nick Mason. However, most people won’t. Hey, I’m all for this fighting ignorance thing, but I’m kinda thinking that when I step into a bar, all bets are off. More to the point, perpetuating ignorance is good. I figure that if the girl I tell it to doesn’t realize that there’s no possible way a person who was born over a decade after the band started touring could possibly be in the band…well, I can’t really be blamed for my fib, can I? ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/30 "2000-12-04T16:37:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw23 \* > **there’s no possible way a person who was born over a decade after the band started touring could possibly be in the band…** I take it you never heard of the **Rolling Stones** , huh? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/31 "2000-12-04T17:29:08Z")
P.J. O’Rourke once wrote that the ideal career for picking up women was war journalist (which was his job at the time). It combines the machoness of war with the intellectualism of journalism. You get credited with being a hero for exposing yourself to danger without the possible negative connotations for killing people. Your travel experiences gives you a combination of the exotic with the familiar and a “ships that pass in the night” allure (along with an excuse for not calling regularly). And it’s easy to fake: all you need is a subscription to _Newsweek_ and a few generic anecdotes you can revise to fit some recent war. ---
**Author:** ![bashere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bashere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bashere)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/32 "2000-12-04T18:11:37Z")
I had a friend who would answer “superhero” when people asked what he did for a living. It worked for him (and sounded better than “computer programmer”). He was annoying that way. I used to tell people I was running for saint. Gave out “get out of hell free” cards and everything. That didn’t work. No idea what real profession would work… ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/33 "2000-12-04T18:15:43Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\* > Well if you were a professional lesbian…_\* I am. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/34 "2000-12-04T18:58:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by Zebra \* > > \*\* > > Well if you were a professional lesbian…_\* > > I am. \*\* Did you used to be an amature? Who much do you make a year? Are the benifits good? When you are on vacation are you hetero? ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/35 "2000-12-04T20:03:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Little Nemo \* > \*\*P.J. O’Rourke once wrote that the ideal career for picking up women was war journalist (which was his job at the time). \*\* A war journalist would win me over in a second, no question. I’d also be swooning if he said “You know, I’ve won an Oscar.” Even though I hate the Oscars and I can’t think of the last time I agreed with them, and even if the guy said he won it for sound effecrs editing, I’d be so impressed. ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/36 "2000-12-04T20:37:38Z")
Two words: freelance gynecologist. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/37 "2000-12-04T20:42:06Z")
An Oscar? I would ask for at least a Tony. The Oscars are so… common. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/38 "2000-12-04T20:48:48Z")
“Hey! A major media award! Awwwwwwwwwww…it’s a Grammy!” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/39 "2000-12-05T01:06:44Z")
The trouble with this OP is that you need a job title that implies: 1. You have a lot of money, and you will continue to have money 2. You have time to spend with pickupee (so doctors, lawyers and computer programmers are out) 3. A very low sleaze factor (no politicians, used car sales men, etc…) 4. A Non-violent job, preferably dealing with something helpless, to prove you are a kind caring person. (hummm…social workers/teachers don’t make enough money to live in my area) 5. Implies intelligence or at least some amount of post-graduate school (no models, actors or musicians need apply…yes, I know music takes work but many people don’t) and is still romantic and exciting… The only think that I can think of that qualifies is a veterinarian. I can come up with some 3 out of 5, but the money thing is a real problem. Perhaps this is why I’m such a flop at picking up guys at parties. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754/40 "2000-12-05T01:47:34Z")
How about “professional pick-up artist”? 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-profession-for-picking-up-people-in-a-bar/43754.md?page=3)