# Best put-down **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 3, 2004, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933 "2004-09-03T07:53:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/1 "2004-09-03T07:53:37Z")
It’s a competitive world and the virtual world is no different. Most of us like to establish ourselves in one way or another, whether as expert, wit, nice guy, ditzy guy, or even asshole. So my question is what is the ultimate put-down with which to deal with that particular poster who gets under your skin. Okay, silence is the best weapon, so let’s narrow it down to most effective verbal put-down, where ‘verbal’ means using words, as distinct from ‘oral’. (Just to clear that up in line with one of the niches I crave for myself, linguist.) To kick off, how about: “His spelling and grammar are serviceable”? And, yes, that one’s been directed at me on another board. Losers! ---
**Author:** ![START](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@START](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/START)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/2 "2004-09-03T07:59:49Z")
Hard to think of a put down but sarcasm is good and on a message board like this using spelling mistakes can be to your advantage. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/3 "2004-09-03T08:05:20Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > It’s a competitive world and the virtual world is no different. Most of us like to establish ourselves in one way or another, whether as expert, wit, nice guy, ditzy guy, or even asshole. > > So my question is what is the ultimate put-down with which to deal with that particular poster who gets under your skin. Okay, silence is the best weapon, so let’s narrow it down to most effective verbal put-down, where ‘verbal’ means using words, as distinct from ‘oral’. (Just to clear that up in line with one of the niches I crave for myself, linguist.) > > To kick off, how about: “His spelling and grammar are serviceable”? > > And, yes, that one’s been directed at me on another board. Losers! I find that almost _anyone_ is offended by: ‘Are you roger thornhill?’ Go fig. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/4 "2004-09-03T08:05:53Z")
> [@START](#): > > On a message board like this using spelling mistakes can be to your advantage. How so? Care to expand? ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/5 "2004-09-03T08:14:45Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > I find that almost _anyone_ is offended by: ‘Are you roger thornhill?’ > > Go fig. Ah, Mockers, you must belong to that statistically insignificant, but nonetheless vocal, minority that do not care for the work of Alfred Hitchcock. A generational thing, perhaps. ---
**Author:** ![Orville\_mogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/aeb1de/32.png) [@Orville\_mogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orville_mogul)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/6 "2004-09-03T10:32:30Z")
> [@START](#): > > Hard to think of a put down but sarcasm is good and on a message board like this using spelling mistakes can be to your advantage. I don’t like it when people try to build themselves up by picking on others’ spelling errors. That’s just splitting hares. ---
**Author:** ![fireman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@fireman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fireman)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/7 "2004-09-03T10:36:33Z")
> [@Endemic](#): > > I don’t like it when people try to build themselves up by picking on others’ spelling errors. That’s just splitting hares. I split some hares once. The trouble started when it was found that I used a beaver cleaver for the job. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/8 "2004-09-03T11:11:00Z")
> [@Endemic](#): > > I don’t like it when people try to build themselves up by picking on others’ spelling errors. That’s just splitting hares. Splitting hares is fine, as long as you have two hats. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/9 "2004-09-03T12:51:48Z")
As Cecil so eloquently put it - “If stupid were cornflakes, you’d be General Mills.” ---
**Author:** ![Orville\_mogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/aeb1de/32.png) [@Orville\_mogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orville_mogul)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/10 "2004-09-03T16:48:57Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > Splitting hares is fine, as long as you have two hats. Ha ha. **fireman** and\*\* friedo\*\* took my bate! ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/11 "2004-09-03T16:58:57Z")
Your momma’s so fat, somebody shouted Kool-Aid and she came **bustin’ through the wall**. Howzat? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/12 "2004-09-03T17:05:11Z")
Dick and Jane is considered advanced reading for you, I see. A roomful of monkeys can eventually type the Bible, but your goals are too high. You don’t correct your mistakes by putting white-out on the screen, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/13 "2004-09-03T17:14:36Z")
Four monkeys, seven days. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/14 "2004-09-03T18:35:00Z")
Your momma so fat that her favorite drink is gravy! No, really, she so fat that she got her own area code! Honest, she so fat that she wore her Malcolm X jacket and a helicopter landed on her! ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/15 "2004-09-03T19:44:19Z")
[I, Claudius] They say a snake bit her once. And died. [/I, Claudius] ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/16 "2004-09-03T20:24:42Z")
Your momma is so fat her blood type is Ragu! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![START](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@START](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/START)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/17 "2004-09-03T21:34:17Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > How so? Care to expand? A good example might be something like this; **START** your puntuation is horrible. Well atleast I can spell PUNCTUATION. Very mild but can never be rebutted… Or if a person mispells a few words or even just one and they “insult” you…then say something along the lines of “I can’t take someone seriously that can’t even spell. Instead of trying to give me advice you should be learning how to spell…” then you would list the words the other poster spelled wrong. Eventhough most likely it is an innocent mistake and the person does know how to spell, all is fair… Also if you look at the hatemail for a website and the person who wrote the e-mail mispelled words usually the administrators will attack the spelling first and ignore the actual content of the letter…maybe I can come back with a website link later unless you know what i’m talking about. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/18 "2004-09-03T21:46:28Z")
Winston Churchill is making a speech in the UK Parliament. Woman: You’re drunk! Churchill: Yes madam. And you’re ugly. However in the morning, I shall be sober. :smack: I also seem to recall “Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy!” (was it to Dan Quayle?) ---
**Author:** ![J.Me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f04885/32.png) [@J.Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J.Me)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/19 "2004-09-03T23:57:46Z")
“Wow! That’s the fastest I’ve ever hated anybody!” I think I heard it on this board… ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2004, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933/20 "2004-09-04T05:49:20Z")
> [@START](#): > > maybe I can come back with a website link later unless you know what i’m talking about. I’m with you, **START**. Cheers! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-put-down/262933.md?page=2)