# Best SDMB Lines **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 25, 2002, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613 "2002-04-25T19:25:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/1 "2002-04-25T19:25:33Z")
Over the last couple of years, people have been quick to pick up on wittily said, pithy remarks, things taken out of context, and so on. This thread is for reminding us all of something someone posted that made you stop and think, laugh, or otherwise enjoy using this board. I’ll start it off with a funny one: For a period of time that gave the more thoughful of us some conception of what “eternity” means, a very earnest extreme right-wing Christian using the nick “ **FriendOfGod** ” had been witnessing at length over in Great Debates. In response to a comment by **Gaudere** , he came off with a line that it would be inappropriate for a Christian (by his definition) to date or marry a non-Christian – “Unequally yoked and all, you know.” Gaudere’s response: > [@](#): > > Well, there go my hopes of a torrid affair with **FriendOfGod**! ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/2 "2002-04-25T20:15:23Z")
I don’t even remember the circumstances surrounding them now, but here are two of my favorites: > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Triskadecamus_ > While it remains possible that you are not actually a narrow minded idiot, thus far you are a complete substitute for one, until such time as a real narrow minded idiot comes along. and > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Steve Wright_ > And you have goaded me into using multiple exclamation marks at the ends of my sentences!!! Prepare to meet thy doom… ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/3 "2002-04-25T20:37:28Z")
Still my favorite – I laughed so hard I almost fell off my chair: Discussing in the Pit some sweet young thing’s boyfriend or ex, who enjoyed anal sex and referred to himself as “The Assmaster,” someone (and IIRC it was DUCK DUCK GOOSE) said (paraphrasing): “The only time a man should refer to himself as The Assmaster is if he’s running the donkey concession at the Pyramids of Giza.” ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/4 "2002-04-25T23:48:30Z")
Yeah, that one sprang to my mind too, **Jodi**. I think you got it just right. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/5 "2002-04-26T02:49:16Z")
when someone named their rage fred. crunchy frog i believe it was. just cracked me up. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/6 "2002-04-26T03:05:59Z")
From an early “Dopers Anonymous” thread: “This place is more addictive than chocolate covered crack” ---
**Author:** ![hobgnoblin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hobgnoblin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hobgnoblin)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/7 "2002-04-26T04:24:42Z")
From [this Pit thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=109273&highlight=intolerant) > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by SPOOFE_ > I just find it poetically ironic that the tolerant can’t tolerate the intolerant. ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/8 "2002-04-26T04:50:37Z")
Alphagene taking the wind out of the sails of newbie-bashers: > [@](#): > > From now on, no one should be allowed to post until they have at least 50 posts. –John ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/9 "2002-04-26T05:03:54Z")
I can’t remember who made this post. No matter, he only made one. It was during the “funny things that happened during sex thread”… “Make big noise!” “Oink, oink, oink!” ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/10 "2002-04-26T05:11:45Z")
Okay, this is something I said a long time ago, but it still cracks me up. Monster104 had asked the assembled gather to worship him as a god. > [@](#): > > Well, Monster, I was in the process of carving a life-sized black marble nude statue of you. > > Then the damn chisel slipped, and… well, let’s just say that the worshippers were a bit underwhealmed. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/11 "2002-04-26T07:14:45Z")
I think it was **widdershins** who coined **“The Winter of our Missed Content”** to describe the Great Server Crash. ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/12 "2002-04-26T08:27:14Z")
**#5 DORRANCE STAINLESS STEEL HOOKS!** or was it #10 DORRANCE STAINLESS STEEL HOOKS? Must phone DORRANCE and check… Redboss ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/13 "2002-04-26T10:03:11Z")
[Revtim](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=4653) started a Pit thread a long time ago. The first sentence? > [@](#): > > I hate when people start a post with something like, “As you all know, I’m a black Republican dwarf lesbian dogwasher…” Cracked me up. 😃 From [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=39757), two absolute gems. First, **Rysdad** comes up with the greatest band name of all time: > [@](#): > > Shiny Gay Republican And then, **John Corrado** tells us what life as a Republican really is like. I’m not gonna quote it, as it’s not a line as such. You’re gonna have to _read_ it in all its hilarity. I’ll come back when I think of more. And no, I am not obsessed with Republicans. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/14 "2002-04-26T11:20:04Z")
Alphagene in response to some troll talking about how things were better “back in his day” said something to the effect of > [@](#): > > Back in your day using a stick to dig termites out of a mound was being an Advanced Tool User In recent times, Tigeril’s rather magnificent > [@](#): > > OG SMASH!! made my eyes water laughing. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/15 "2002-04-26T11:29:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Narrad \* > \*\*I think it was **widdershins** who coined **“The Winter of our Missed Content”** to describe the Great Server Crash. \*\* Yeah, that was my most recent fave too! Yet the generic, “Go Fuck Yourself” rates highly too IMHO. Shame I can’t remember all of the quoters… ---
**Author:** ![NutMagnet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@NutMagnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutMagnet)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/16 "2002-04-26T12:04:02Z")
In [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=92548) thread, **Strainger** wrote: We’ve had our interludes in various locations around the office to keep things interesting. You name it, we’ve done it: tied up with Kroy labels in the copy room, a good spanking with a ten-foot extension cord in maintenance, some rolling around in a pile of toner on the printer room floor, and **some things that I’d just rather keep private.** This cracked me up for the rest of the day. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/17 "2002-04-26T12:30:03Z")
In the thread on felching, someone asked “Is anything too sick for you people to discuss?” Someone answered “Too sick, no. Too stupid, yes.” I use that line when trying to describe why I love these boards. And of course, that’s the thread I nominated for Threadspotting: \*\* What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?\*\* I’ve been singing that line for days. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/18 "2002-04-26T13:33:11Z")
**Eve’s** response to “Gotcha ya!”. Hands down. ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/19 "2002-04-26T16:32:03Z")
One of my favorites was when the late unlamented Ph\*\*\*\*\* was self-righteously complaining about people who attacked others and called them names, and that he felt that he was unfairly getting “painted with the same brush” due to his innocent association with their group. However, in other threads he had been rather viciously bigoted and inclined towards name-calling and insults himself. Phil replied: “If you get painted with the same brush, maybe it’s because you’re standing in the fucking paint can, huh?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613/20 "2002-04-26T16:37:08Z")
You can’t go wrong reading [The Page O’ Flames](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/flames.html). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sdmb-lines/105613.md?page=2)