# Best Sound (.wav) Files to Replace Windows Sound Chimes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2004, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945 "2004-12-21T06:19:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/1 "2004-12-21T06:19:56Z")
In a quest to “fun up” my computer at home and at work, I’ve replaced some of the chimes that Windows uses when a certain prompt/statement/action has occurred. You can go to Start/Control Panel/Sounds and Multimedia to modify these sound bytes for other .wav files. For example, the ones I currently use are: * * * Start Windows = [Dr. Evil]: _“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair…I have gathered here before me the world’s deadliest assassins.”_ End Windows = [Happy Gilmore]: _“Alright, I’m outta here…uh, I hear that Asteroids machine calling my name from the gameroom, so peace.”_ New Mail Notification = [Waitress w/Vikings gearing up in the background a la Monte Python]: _“You mean Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam and Spaaam?”_ Critical Stop (Thankfully, this quite rare) = [Homer Simpson]: \ Exclamation = [Caddyshack]: \…I want to change this one…too annoying and happens way too much. Program Error (Thankfully, rare) = [Mr. Evil]: \*"That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. \ And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset…people DIE!!! \* Question = [Mr. Evil]: _“Throw me a frickin’ bone here! I’m the boss! Need the info!”_ ## Empty Recycle Bin = [Star Wars I - Darth Sidious]: \*“Wipe them out…All of them.” \* \ Now I want to know if any other Dopers out there are doing the same thing and what .wav (or other types) files you guys are using and for which Windows prompts. Are you angling for something funny? Serious? Downright Eeeeevilllll? Got any good ones to share? This is the place! Movie sound clips or Music or maybe a .wav file of a reved-up chainsaw for your Recycle Bin? Please share with the class! I’m looking to spice it up some more. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/2 "2004-12-21T08:48:49Z")
Some exclamation sounds: Krusty the Klown: “Ah, CRAP!!” Stan Marsh: “Whoa, dude!” Warcraft peasant: “I don’t wanna do this!” Failure: Homer Simpson “Ahhhh!” Warcraft ogre: “My tummy feels funny.” ---
**Author:** ![infamousmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d6d6ee/32.png) [@infamousmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/infamousmom)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/3 "2004-12-21T08:54:14Z")
Well, I haven’t monkeyed with Windows much since the most recent reformat-and-reinstall, so most of the prompts are set to blessed, blessed silence, but I used to have: Open Windows: “I am Locutus, of Borg. Resistance is futile.” (Patrick Stewart) Something’s-not-right-here: “I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.” (HAL) Full stop: Woody Woodpecker’s laugh (although that one got old real fast) Close Windows: The closing tune from Looney Tunes cartoons I also had Windows open up with Kermit the Frog saying “Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s the Muppet Show!” and end with Porky Pig saying “t-th-th-th-that’s all, folks!” Sending stuff to the recycle bin was “I… am… OUTTA here” from “Weekend Update,” and doggone it, the guy’s name is eluding me at this late-night moment. ---
**Author:** ![RumMunkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@RumMunkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RumMunkey)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/4 "2004-12-21T12:49:31Z")
I have a nice little new mail notification sound at home: “_ **You’ve got Spam** _” -in an AOL-esque tone. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/5 "2004-12-21T12:54:58Z")
I used to have HAL saying “My mind is going Dave, I can feel it…” on shutdown, but I don’t use any system sounds at all now becuase of the potential to mess up some background audio processing task that I might happen to be doing. ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/6 "2004-12-21T12:57:41Z")
I’ve had these for years: Open Windows: Pink Floyd - "\*Welcome to the machiiiiine . . . \* " Close Windows: Pink Floyd - "_Goodbye . . . goodbye . . . goodbye."_ Mail notification: Monty Python and the Holy Grail - \ . . . “Message _for you, sir!_” Program error: The Hulk “_Don’t make me mad; you wouldn’t like me when I’m mad_.” ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/7 "2004-12-21T14:50:59Z")
Anybody know where I can get ths file? I want to load it into a programmable doorbell-I ALWAYS wanted a foghorn for a doorbell! ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/8 "2004-12-21T15:01:59Z")
Open Windows–Scotty saying “Hello, computer!” Close Windows–Bill Murray from _Stripes_: “You can’t go … all the plants are gonna die!” Something goes wrong–The dog-girl from _Drop Dead Gorgeous_: “They remade my belly with skin from my butt!” Instant Message notification–Joshua from _Wargames_: “Shall we play a game?” I sometimes change them weekly. 🙂 Oh, and **Ralph** , you may want to try [The Daily Wav](http://www.dailywav.com/) for anything else you’re looking for. I haven’t spent much time there in years, but that’s where I got all my best stuff. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/9 "2004-12-21T17:43:28Z")
For a short while, I used as a Close Windows sound the old Universal-Revue Productions closing theme. You TV buffs probably know what I’m talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/10 "2004-12-21T17:51:24Z")
Thanks for the link, Draelin. I’ve been looking over it for the past hour or two trying to find wavs I like. ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/11 "2004-12-21T18:03:40Z")
I use the Tick for my sounds. Start-up: Evil is just plain bad! You don’t cotton to it! You have to smack it in the nose with the rolled up newspaper of goodness! Bad dog! Bad dog! Shut-down: I’m taking off the kid gloves, and putting on the really mad gloves! Exclamation: Spoooooooooooooooooon! Question: Ah, no fair! I had some other ones, too, but I don’t remember what they say now. They come up rather sparingly, which, as much as I like the Tick, I’m thankful for. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/12 "2004-12-21T18:16:19Z")
For minimizing/maximizing a window, I’ve got Chris farley from “Tommy Boy” saying “Whadju do?” Whenever a friend uses my computer and hears that for the first time he/she nearly falls out of their seat laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/13 "2004-12-21T18:48:23Z")
Start Windows = [Dart Vader]: “I’ve been waiting for you…you should not have come back.” New Mail Notification (at work)= [Mr. Worf, after electronic sounds]: “Captain…incoming message.” New Mail Notification (at home)= [HAL9000]: “There is a message for you.” ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/14 "2004-12-21T21:17:54Z")
Most people probably aren’t going to get this, but my Windows shut down is Majin Buu saying, “You go bye! You go bye bye! Bye bye bye bye bye bye BYE BYE BYE BYE! AAAAAAAAHHHH!” ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/15 "2004-12-22T01:31:52Z")
Current Startup - Darth Vader “The Emperor has been expecting you.” Have also used HAL startup message. Current Shutdown - HAL “My mind is going… I can feel it.” Have also used “I’ll be back” (who hasn’t) and “I’m melting”. Current New mail - Worf “Captain…incoming message.” Have also used Homer & Patsy. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/16 "2004-12-22T03:29:19Z")
> [@Genghis Bob](#): > > I’ve had these for years: > > Open Windows: Pink Floyd - "\*Welcome to the machiiiiine . . . \* " > > Close Windows: Pink Floyd - "_Goodbye . . . goodbye . . . goodbye."_ > > \ I like this guy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/17 "2004-12-22T03:57:59Z")
What, the Tick isn’t good enough for you? Oh. I see. What if they were Blue Floyd? ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/18 "2004-12-22T04:06:50Z")
My email notification used to be Homestar Running saying eeeeemaaail. But I only had 64mb RAM at the time, and my computer couldn’t handle running Mozilla, the email client, AND the .wav at the same time, so I went noiseless. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/19 "2004-12-22T04:52:50Z")
[http://www.homestarrunner.com/homester.html](http://www.homestarrunner.com/homester.html) Here you go, **racinchikki**. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Macphisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Ms\_Macphisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Macphisto)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945/20 "2004-12-22T07:12:31Z")
Current Startup: “I’m ready to serve you Master…and Satan!” (Kids in the Hall) I’ve also used “Good evening, and welcome to the pit of ultimate darkness” (also Kids in the Hall) Current Shutdown: “Say goodbye to all of this, and hello to oblivion” (Rocky Horror Picture Show) I think everything else is Windows default at the moment, but I have also used various bits of the Monty Python spam sketch for new mail notification in the past. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-sound-wav-files-to-replace-windows-sound-chimes/280945.md?page=2)