# Best surprise funny lines in movies and TV **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 22, 2009, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589 "2009-06-22T15:27:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/41 "2009-06-23T16:16:15Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I think my all-time favorite throwaway line is from the Death scene in _Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life_ (when Death comes for the dinner party where the guests have been poisoned by THE SALMON MOUSSE: “Hey! I didn’t eat the mousse!” I believe that was an ad-lib, too. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/42 "2009-06-23T16:42:06Z")
I’m not sure I get the mousse joke. Was that a reference to Holy Grail? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/43 "2009-06-23T16:54:27Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I’m not sure I get the mousse joke. Was that a reference to Holy Grail? [Here’s the scene.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoBTsMJ4jNk) ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/44 "2009-06-23T17:14:10Z")
More from AD. After getting back from Mexico: Lindsay: “Hey, you’re back already.” Michael: “Yeah, we won.” I laughed for 5 minutes… ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/45 "2009-06-23T17:30:05Z")
Watching an old _Buffy_ last night Willow has just come from tending to a very ill Angel. She is talking to Oz, who is very low-key: Willow: “He thought I was Buffy.” Oz: “You too, huh.” ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/46 "2009-06-23T17:34:04Z")
From last week’s episode of _Royal Pains_: “I just spent all day trying to convince those girls that I wasn’t a douchebag but then I sent them home smelling like vinegar and water.” ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/47 "2009-06-23T17:36:56Z")
_When Harry Met Sally_ ‘I’ll have what she’s having.’ ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/48 "2009-06-23T17:42:28Z")
From **Monsters vs. Aliens** : “Oh man it’s hot. Did it get warmer out since we were in prison? Cuz that would be a really convenient truth.” I laughed so hard at that, and nobody else did. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/49 "2009-06-23T17:46:44Z")
Another Simpsons, from that all time classic “Homer’s Phobia” when Homer is driving through Santaland and hits a deer: Homer: D’oh Lisa: A deer Marge: A female deer ---
**Author:** ![gang\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f07891/32.png) [@gang\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gang_green)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/50 "2009-06-23T21:19:39Z")
Sealab 2021. Two guys out swimming in the ocean. One gets eaten by a shark. The other? “So long, chum!” ---
**Author:** ![cactus\_waltz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@cactus\_waltz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cactus_waltz)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/51 "2009-06-23T21:29:49Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > From an episode of House, the three doctors walk in, and one of them declares (in reference to a patient): > > “We’ve got rectal bleeding!” > > And House’s off-the-cuff response: > > “What, all of you?!” I remember that scene. Laurie’s delivery is simply perfect, it really made me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/52 "2009-06-23T21:32:06Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Another Simpsons, from that all time classic “Homer’s Phobia” when Homer is driving through Santaland and hits a deer: > > Homer: D’oh > Lisa: A deer > Marge: A female deer Nitpick: That’s from Bart Gets an Elephant. Homer was driving through a tar pit. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/53 "2009-06-23T21:45:05Z")
The first episode of Firefly, the much not-as-loved-as-other-episodes _The Train Job_, had a couple of gems: Mal: [backed up against the edge of a cliff, facing the drunks from the bar] Oh, ho-ho! There’s just an acre of you fellas, isn’t there? This is why we lost, you know. Superior numbers. Zoë: Thanks for the reenactment, sir. Wash: Did he just go crazy and fall asleep? Crow: Keep the money. Use it to buy a funeral. It doesn’t matter where you go or how far you fly. I will hunt you down, and the last thing you see will be my blade. Mal: Darn. _kicks Crow into running jet intake__FWOMPHSSSS_ ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/54 "2009-06-23T22:46:53Z")
Another _House_ gem: They have to give an endoscopy to a patient, but for some reason can’t use any sedatives of painkillers, and Cameron is objecting. Cameron: Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a six foot tube shoved up your rectum? House: No, but now I have a lot more respect for whatever basketball paper you dated in college. ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2009, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/55 "2009-06-23T23:39:33Z")
My all-time favorite throw-away line is from The Godfather: “Leave the gun, take the cannolis.” [Cannolis](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1-y9-m-CU0) ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/56 "2009-06-24T00:08:20Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > My all-time favorite throw-away line is from The Godfather: “Leave the gun, take the cannolis.” > > [Cannolis](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1-y9-m-CU0) For my money, when you’re talking about funny lines in _The Godfather_, you can’t beat > [@](#): > > She was beautiful, she was innocent, she was the greatest piece of ass I’ve ever had, and I’ve had it all over the world. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/57 "2009-06-24T00:42:07Z")
In _The Godfather_, my favorite was: “Why don’t you tell that nice girl how you feel, Micheal? I love you, I miss you, if-a I don’t-a see you a-soon I’m-a-gonna die!”😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/58 "2009-06-24T03:12:28Z")
The Godfather was _funny_? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/59 "2009-06-24T03:34:59Z")
> [@Sir\_T-Cups](#): > > The Godfather was _funny_? You must have forgotten [this scene.](http://www.videosift.com/video/SNL-Godfather-Therapy-starring-John-Belushi)😃 (Sorry about the commercial before the video.) ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589/60 "2009-06-28T18:03:36Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > Another _House_ gem: > > They have to give an endoscopy to a patient, but for some reason can’t use any sedatives of painkillers, and Cameron is objecting. > > Cameron: Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a six foot tube shoved up your rectum? > House: No, but now I have a lot more respect for whatever basketball paper you dated in college. “I have a position for you on my penis.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-surprise-funny-lines-in-movies-and-tv/500589.md?page=2)