# Best titles ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 27, 2009, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598 "2009-02-27T01:53:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![De\_La\_Rue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@De\_La\_Rue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/De_La_Rue)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/81 "2009-02-28T16:55:58Z")
> [@scifisam2009](#): > > I love ‘The Jewish-Japanese Sex and Cook Book and How to Raise Wolves by Jack Douglas.’ The title, that is. What’s the book about? Cats and golf, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Meurglys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/258eb7/32.png) [@Meurglys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meurglys)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/82 "2009-02-28T17:39:46Z")
_Crap Ghosts_ by **Gavin Inglis**. It’s short stories about ghosts who aren’t very good at it! _First Among Sequels_ by **Jasper Fforde** ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/83 "2009-02-28T18:43:36Z")
There are a bunch of great children’s book titles I remember from my childhood, such as: **Jennifer, Hecate, Macbeth, William McKinley, and Me, Elizabeth From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler The Mysterious Disappearance of Leon (I Mean Noel)** ---
**Author:** ![Randy\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee7513/32.png) [@Randy\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randy_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/84 "2009-02-28T18:58:05Z")
How could we leave out: _Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?_ ---
**Author:** ![Ferd\_Burfel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@Ferd\_Burfel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferd_Burfel)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/85 "2009-02-28T19:13:58Z")
> [@RiverRunner](#): > > **Jaguars Ripped My Flesh** [Weasels Ripped My Flesh](http://www.amazon.com/Weasels-Ripped-Flesh-Mothers-Invention/dp/B0000009S6/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1235848164&sr=1-1) From the world of Science Fiction – **Golden Apples of the Sun** **Something Wicked This Way Comes** A song title (since I just downloaded the album from Amazon) \*\* You’re So Sweet Horseflies Keep Hanging Round Your Face\*\* by Neil Diamond ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/86 "2009-02-28T20:11:13Z")
I think it’s fun also to look for great titles among the classics. Plenty of classic books have dull titles: **Tom Sawyer, Jane Eyre, Romeo and Juliet**. But there are some classics with great titles: **A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court** is very evocative. **Much Ado About Nothing** pokes fun at itself and is pretty great. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2009, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/87 "2009-02-28T20:47:11Z")
Couple of oldies: Will Cuppy’s **How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes** , and (my favorite title ever) Helen Hokinson’s **So You’re Going to Buy a Book**. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/88 "2009-02-28T21:14:25Z")
[Salmonella Men on Planet Porno](http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3284102.Salmonella_Men_on_Planet_Porno_Stories) It’s on my to-read list. How could I resist? ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/89 "2009-02-28T21:20:53Z")
Manga’s always good for some delightfully odd titles. I’ve not read the series, but one of my favourite titles as a title is Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer. I’m currently reading one called Kurogane Pukapuka Tai, which, aside from being a fun title to say in Japanese, has the rather fun approximate translation of Black Steel Splashing Brigade. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/90 "2009-03-01T01:16:40Z")
> [@Randy\_Seltzer](#): > > How could we leave out: > > _Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?_ We didn’t. I think someone mentioned it on the previous page. ETA: Post 22, RealityChuck ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/91 "2009-03-01T02:00:13Z")
_The Finer Points of Sausage Dogs At the Villa of Reduced Circumstances Caramel Knowledge Let Us Now Praise Famous Men A Canticle For Leibowitz Holy The Firm The Alaskan Bootlegger’s Bible_ (we used to have a copy at work. It explained how to make a still, and how to make everything vaguely fermentable into booze) It’s not a book, but _Into Great Silence_ is a great title. **jsgoddes** beat me to _Everything that Rises Must Converge_, my favourite O’Connor title. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/92 "2009-03-01T02:01:53Z")
ETA: Mr. Lissar just reminded me of _The Left Hand of Darkness_ and _The Lathe of Heaven_. Oh, and _A Ring of Endless Light_ and _Dragons in the Waters_. ---
**Author:** ![JR\_Brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JR\_Brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JR_Brown)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/93 "2009-03-01T02:06:04Z")
The force that through the green fuse drives the flower - Dylan Thomas Old (very old) but still good (all of these are ballads): The Laidly Laidly Worm and the Machrel of the Sea The Whummil Bore Crow and Pie Sheath and Knife ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/94 "2009-03-01T02:20:56Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > **Jennifer, Hecate, Macbeth, William McKinley, and Me, Elizabeth** I loved that one but had completely forgotten about it! _Special Topics in Calamity Physics_ (Marisha Pessl) was a pretty good title. James Lee Burke has _In the Electric Mist with Confederate Dead_. Lawrence Block, _When the Sacred Ginmill Closes_ and _Time to Murder and Create_, _The Girl with the Long Green Heart_. Ruth Rendell, _An Unkindness of Ravens_, _A Guilty Thing Surprised_. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/95 "2009-03-01T03:12:07Z")
Raymond Smullyan’s books of logic puzzles also qualify: _What Is the Name of This Book?_ _This Book Needs No Title_ ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/96 "2009-03-02T16:48:08Z")
My university library had a volume of humorous essays which was entitled _Oral Sadism and the Vegetarian Personality_. One must not, of course, omit from such a discussion the tomes of Lewis Grizzard, among which one finds the following classics. [ul] [li]_Shoot Low Boys, They’re Riding Shetland Ponies_[/li][li]_Elvis Is Dead and I Don’t Feel So Good Myself_[/li][li]_When My Love Returns From the Ladies’ Room Will I Be Too Old to Care?_[/li][li]_Don’t Bend Over in the Garden, Granny – You Know Them Taters Got Eyes_[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Meurglys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/258eb7/32.png) [@Meurglys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meurglys)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/97 "2009-03-02T17:01:41Z")
Just to clarify, _Jaguars Ripped My Flesh_ (post #70) is a travel book, iirc, although the title is no doubt a riff on the Zappa album, _Weasels Ripped My Flesh_, mentioned in post #85… _I Have America Surrounded_ by John Higgs. it’s a bio of Timothy Leary _The Greatest Fucking Moments in Sport_ by Kevin L. Donihe, and I see he also co-wrote one called _Ocean of Lard_! ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/98 "2009-03-02T17:10:19Z")
> [@Kizarvexius](#): > > My university library had a volume of humorous essays which was entitled _Oral Sadism and the Vegetarian Personality_. > > One must not, of course, omit from such a discussion the tomes of Lewis Grizzard, among which one finds the following classics. > [ul] > [li]_Shoot Low Boys, They’re Riding Shetland Ponies_[/li][li]_Elvis Is Dead and I Don’t Feel So Good Myself_[/li][li]_When My Love Returns From the Ladies’ Room Will I Be Too Old to Care?_[/li][li]_Don’t Bend Over in the Garden, Granny – You Know Them Taters Got Eyes_[/li][/ul] More Grizzard goodness: _They Tore Out My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat_ _If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I’m Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground_ _My Daddy Was a Pistol and I’m a Son of A Gun_ _Chili Dawgs Always Bark at Night_ ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/99 "2009-03-03T05:34:45Z")
I don’t recall the author, but Alien Rapes Nun, Flees In UFO was a very amusing book about tabloid journalism. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/100 "2009-03-03T06:29:47Z")
_Eaters of the Dead_ _His Share of Glory_ _Atlas Shrugged_ _Flight of the Intruder_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598.md?page=6)