# Best titles ever **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 27, 2009, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598 "2009-02-27T01:53:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Panurge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/fbc32d/32.png) [@Panurge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Panurge)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/101 "2009-03-03T12:42:42Z")
The kid’s book [_The Story of The Little Mole who went in search of Whodunit_](http://landmark.rediff.com/bookshop/bkproductdisplay.jsp?pvvrnbr=4261&prrfnbr=82212058&multiple=false&source=browse&frompg=_) is a pretty good title. In Danish it’s a bit more graphically titled: _Muldvarpen, der ville vide, hvem der havde lavet lort på dens hoved_ (_The Mole who wanted to know who had laid a turd on its head_). I like the Danish one more and it was the first one I thought of. ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/102 "2009-03-03T12:59:31Z")
David Foster Wallace published some essays with titles that I enjoy: A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again Certainly The End Of Something Or Other, One Would Sort Of Have To Think Then there’s a book by Julian Jaynes called The Origin Of Consciousness In The Breakdown Of The Bicameral Mind. And since some have noted song titles, I like Junior Brown’s (You’re Wanted By The Police And) My Wife Thinks You’re Dead. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/103 "2009-03-03T16:30:18Z")
_The Poisonwood Bible_ _The Origin of Species_ - yeah, it’d be a dry read but the title would grab me if I’d never heard of evolution. _Inferno_ ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/104 "2009-03-03T17:42:28Z")
Ordered, but not yet arrived: Installing Linux on a Dead Badger by Lucy A. Snyder ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Bongo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a9adbd/32.png) [@Winston\_Bongo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Bongo)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/105 "2009-03-03T18:23:55Z")
I’m not too crazy about the book itself, but one of my all-time favorite novel titles is _The Crying of Lot 49_. It’s so creepily enigmatic, but not so much that it seems deliberately nonsensical. In fact, it does mean something, but you don’t find out what until the very end of the book. For short stories, I’m surprised no one has mentioned R.A. Lafferty yet. Nobody was better at coming up with eye-catching, unforgettable titles. Here are just a few: _Nine Hundred Grandmothers The Six Fingers of Time Thus We Frustrate Charlemagne The World as Will and Wallpaper And Read the Flesh Between the Lines Flaming Ducks and Giant Bread Groaning Hinges of the World When All the Lands Pour Out Again Lord Torpedo, Lord Gyroscope Selenium Ghosts of the Eighteen Seventies About a Secret Crocodile_ What’s really amazing is that most Lafferty stories actually live up to (or in many cases surpass) the bizarre allure of their titles. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/106 "2009-03-05T22:43:19Z")
There was a porn titled “Yank My Doodle It’s a Dandy” That is by far the best ever titled porn flick. King Missile also hase some great song titles like: The boy who ate lasagne and could jump over a church (parts 1 and 2) Detatchable Penis And of course there’s always Frank Zappa Fembot in a Wet T-shirt Peaches in Regalia Nanook Rubs It Watermelon in Easter Hay ---
**Author:** ![Offkenter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f08c70/32.png) [@Offkenter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Offkenter)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/107 "2009-03-06T01:41:43Z")
The Brentford Chainstore Massacre - Robert Rankin Show White and the Seven Samurai - Tom Holt ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/108 "2009-03-06T01:47:56Z")
_Snakes on a Plane_ ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/109 "2009-03-06T02:46:24Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > **Much Ado About Nothing** pokes fun at itself and is pretty great. Bonus points for the great, and equally descriptive, double entendre. ---
**Author:** ![Ferd\_Burfel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@Ferd\_Burfel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferd_Burfel)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2009, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598/110 "2009-03-06T03:25:29Z")
I’ve thought of a couple more. James Kirkwood’s novel **PS Your Cat is Dead** and a favorite novelty song of mine **Who Put The Benzedrine in Mrs. Murphy’s Ovaltine?** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-titles-ever/487598.md?page=5)