# Best video Games for Dirty old men? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 26, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163 "2005-04-26T15:25:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/1 "2005-04-26T15:25:37Z")
I recently bought Dead or Alive Extreme Volleyball, and found it absolutely shocking 😉 The game involves some volleyball and lots of dressing your female character in very skimpy swim suits. Whenever you win something or go to an empty beach your character will slink around whilst you get to choose viewing direction and zoom in on the pixcellated minx’s major assets. What other games might SDMBers recommend for this apprentice dirty-old-man? ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/2 "2005-04-26T15:30:24Z")
I know there’s a new leisure suit larry game for PS2 and there’s always Playboy:The Mansion in which you try to become Hugh Hefner. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/3 "2005-04-26T15:45:19Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > I know there’s a new leisure suit larry game for PS2 and there’s always Playboy:The Mansion in which you try to become Hugh Hefner. So far from what I’ve heard these games are much more sad than shocking. Similar with the guy game and extreme BMX. ---
**Author:** ![Motorgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Motorgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Motorgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/4 "2005-04-26T15:52:24Z")
You can dress your Sims up in some pretty skimpy outfits & make them kiss & hug each other. Probably not what you’re looking for, though. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/5 "2005-04-26T16:08:13Z")
Try googling “adult flash game”. Some are lame, but you can’t beat the price (free). ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/6 "2005-04-26T16:08:59Z")
There’s something called The Guy Game for PC, PS2, and Xbox. [Gamespot reviewed the PS2](http://www.gamespot.com/ps2/puzzle/theguygame/index.html?q=guy+game) and Xbox versions. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/7 "2005-04-26T16:10:10Z")
Oh, I see you mentioned that in #3. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/8 "2005-04-26T20:13:50Z")
Heh. Friend of mine calls Dead or Alive: Extreme Volleyball the best lesbian dating sim he’s ever played. Really, there aren’t too many good adult games out there. Beyond a certain point, you’ll almost certainly have to import from Japan. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/9 "2005-04-26T20:32:46Z")
I am surprised the Hardcore Porn business hasn’t more successfully ventured into the VG market. Every other major advance in technology has been used to distribute porn. Why not VGs? Is there just not enough customers who would buy a porn based VG to sink that much money into it? Even high grade porn doesn’t have the highest budgets… ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/10 "2005-04-26T22:00:48Z")
Maybe the porn VG’s just aren’t distributed in GameSpot, **wil**. I remember seeing them advertised in the back of computer mags when I worked in a computer store 10 years ago. I seem to remember Seymour Butts having a quarter-page ad. I thought that was a great name. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Nekosoft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c2a13f/32.png) [@Nekosoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nekosoft)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/11 "2005-04-26T22:04:29Z")
Actually, last I heard, The Guy Game was pulled off the market under temporary injunction. One of the young ladies was a bit too young (as in seventeen) and filed a court order saying so. [The Register report](http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/12/22/topless_teen_game_ban/) ---
**Author:** ![Domokun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c77e96/32.png) [@Domokun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Domokun)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/12 "2005-04-26T22:08:39Z")
> [@watsonwil](#): > > I am surprised the Hardcore Porn business hasn’t more successfully ventured into the VG market. > > Every other major advance in technology has been used to distribute porn. Why not VGs? Is there just not enough customers who would buy a porn based VG to sink that much money into it? > > Even high grade porn doesn’t have the highest budgets… Games and masturbation don’t really mix. Unless you’re particularly adept at using the mouse/controller in your off-hand. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/13 "2005-04-26T22:22:35Z")
> [@Domokun](#): > > Games and masturbation don’t really mix. Unless you’re particularly adept at using the mouse/controller in your off-hand. I thought that was why controllers have force feedback and vibration settings 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/14 "2005-04-26T22:32:26Z")
Can we be nostalgic? [MacPlaymate](http://www.macfreegames.com/Lespages/macplaymate2.html). (Link not work safe, I guess). Ancient Mac game - so old that the screenshot above is newer than the one I remember. My version wasn’t in color. The object: drag and drop various toys onto the naked pixellated woman until she reached orgasm. The orgasm went something like “Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Oh yeah.” I’ll never forget the time I either got her so good (or the game malfunctioned) that she repeated that non-stop for hours and hours until I got bored and shut it off. Ah, memories. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/15 "2005-04-26T22:44:52Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > I thought that was why controllers have force feedback and vibration settings 😉 Sadly, you’re not joking. I won’t link to it because it is _not_ work safe, but a site called dub dub dub dot fleshbot dot com sells accessories for turning an Xbox controller into a vibrator. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/16 "2005-04-26T23:26:08Z")
> [@Domokun](#): > > Games and masturbation don’t really mix. Unless you’re particularly adept at using the mouse/controller in your off-hand. That’s why they invented the Pause Button. 😃 Seriously, I have heard of interactice DVDs where you can simulate sex with famous porn actresses (I believe the commands allow you to switch positions.) ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2005, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/17 "2005-04-26T23:56:35Z")
This does give a brand new meaning to cyber sex. [http://msnbc.msn.com/id/3078776/](http://msnbc.msn.com/id/3078776/) It is work safe. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/18 "2005-04-27T00:14:24Z")
> [@Dooku](#): > > Can we be nostalgic? > > [MacPlaymate](http://www.macfreegames.com/Lespages/macplaymate2.html). (Link not work safe, I guess). And as long as we’re being nostalgic, I recall developer David Small telling how he used MacPlaymate to debug [Magic Sac,](http://www.atarimagazines.com/startv2n3/featurereview.html) a Mac emulator for the Atari ST. “So, I start up Magic Sac, and then I get MacPlaymate going. ‘Ooooh!’ **crash!** Oops, there’s a bug… fix that, try it again… ‘Ooooh! Ahhhhh!’ **crash!** Another bug, fix that… ‘Ooooh! Ahhhhh! Ohhhhhh!’ **crash!** ” And that was long before the halcyon days of the dot-com era. 😉 \ ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/19 "2005-04-27T00:29:35Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > I know there’s a new leisure suit larry game for PS2 and there’s always Playboy:The Mansion in which you try to become Hugh Hefner. I’ve played both of these (LSL because the other 6 games in the series are good retro fun and Playboy out of curiosity). The new Leisure Suit Larry game is pretty dire… they’ve done away with all the adventure game parts and made it all about repetetive flash type minigames that get old fast and aren’t really that fun to begin with. Not only that, but the humor is just not that good so it’s not worth plowing through the crappy gameplay to get to the jokes. As bad as the new LSL game is though, the Playboy game is even worse. Imagine a rip-off of the Sims 2 but with worse graphics (completely expressionless faces, lower polygons, bad animation), much less variety in what to do, no actual character management beyond REALLY basic interations (rememeber the origional pre expansion pack Sims 1? take away a few of the option for chatting and you approach Playboys lack of options), and semi-serious nudity. I found myself agreeing with the reviews that complained that, well, it IS Playboy so what’s the point of being half assed and having topless nudity only? Plus, it looks really lame when Hugh (your only playable character) has “sex” with a centerfold/girlfriend/whatever female is in the room and neither of them take off their underpants. The Sims 2 is more erotic when it comes to sex, and I say that without hyperbole! ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163/20 "2005-04-27T00:29:51Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > And as long as we’re being nostalgic, I recall developer David Small telling how he used MacPlaymate to debug [Magic Sac,](http://www.atarimagazines.com/startv2n3/featurereview.html) a Mac emulator for the Atari ST. > > “So, I start up Magic Sac, and then I get MacPlaymate going. ‘Ooooh!’ **crash!** Oops, there’s a bug… fix that, try it again… ‘Ooooh! Ahhhhh!’ **crash!** Another bug, fix that… ‘Ooooh! Ahhhhh! Ohhhhhh!’ **crash!** ” > > And that was long before the halcyon days of the dot-com era. 😉 > > \ 😃 I’d love to see that bug report \<1\> Launch Magic Sac \<2\> Launch MacPlaymate \<3\> Say yes to “I’m very proud of my breasts. Would you like to touch them?” dialog \<4\> Say yes to “Would you like to touch me? Then touch me HERE” dialog. \<5\> Allow panties-removing animation to complete \<6\> From Toybox, mouse down on Deep Plunger\*, drag and drop to clitoris, penetrate Observed Partial orgasm; crash Expect Full orgasm, completion of “Ooh Ooh Ooh Oh yeah” sound file. Not repro manually. \*(Note: also repros with Lusty Lube, Mighty Mo Throbber) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-games-for-dirty-old-men/301163.md?page=2)