# Best video/PC game quotes! minor spoils possible **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 25, 2002, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755 "2002-07-25T13:17:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/1 "2002-07-25T13:17:45Z")
Planescape: Torment Nameless: If you are all that powerful, then tell me what our name is? (or something like that) There are a lot of them in PS:T, but I can’t name them all. Warcraft/II/III Footman: I’d ather be sailing! Grom Hellscream: I can see clearly now, the rain has goooone! also Grom: Graaaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhhhh! [Hits big nasty demon REALLY hard] Goblin: Yaaaaahaaahaaaahaaaa! Are you threatening me?!?! [twitches spastically from too much Cocoa Puffs] Starcraft: Sacrifice Me! Templar: …Your Thoughts? My Path is Certain. Archon: Power Overwhelming! Kerrigan: You Pig! Raynor: What? I didn’t say anything! Kerrigan: Yeah, but you were thinking it. Hitman: Codename 47 Bartender: What’s your name? Hitman: Rieper (pronounced REAPER!) FF3/6j Gau: OOooowaaaaaaaOOoooooo! Gau get stonger on the Veldt! Kefka: Son of a Submariner! Baldur’s Gate Noober: Heya…Heya…Heya…Heya…Heya… [repeats about 50 times] ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/2 "2002-07-25T13:53:18Z")
I played **Simpsons’ Road Rage** recently and I love all of the character quotes, but one of Homer’s is my favorite: “Get out of the way, jerk-ass!” ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/3 "2002-07-25T14:24:27Z")
Jedi Knight 1 (teetering on the edge of a deep, deep abyss and realizing you have to jump over): “You’ve got to be kidding me…” Later on in Jedi Knight 1: “Oh no, not something else for me to fall from…” The Assassin from Diablo 2: “When I kill things, they STAY dead.” ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/4 "2002-07-25T14:50:46Z")
More from Planescape: Storyteller: I am Yves, the Tale-chaser. Morte: What a concidence! I also chase tails. Morte:(reading the tatoos on your back) Heh. Looks like you come with directions. You: No wonder my back hurts. There’s a damn novel written on it. Morte: We’re in the Mortuary, a big black building with all the architectural charm of a pregnant spider. Basically, anything Morte says is a riot. Especially when he starts talking to your other companions. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/5 "2002-07-25T14:53:03Z")
Dammit. Is there any way to avoid inadvertent smilies? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/6 "2002-07-25T15:08:13Z")
It’s inevitable: “All your base are belong to us.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/7 "2002-07-25T15:09:54Z")
hmmmmm… no I am paraphrasing PS:T for cleanliness: Morte: (_&_&^%_&)_&_&_&&%&^&^%^%!!! Annah\*&^%$$$#%@&@^%@%!!! Morte: All right, new taunts! ^%$$@#\*&(@^%!!! Kimasxi Adder-Tongue: #%!&@%^@\*%!!! Its a laugh riot, I swear! ---
**Author:** ![andrew\_dupont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@andrew\_dupont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrew_dupont)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/8 "2002-07-25T15:28:07Z")
from **Sam & Max Hit The Road** Sam: My little buddy has to use the facilities. Max: Facilities be damned, I need a bathroom! Sam (on the phone): Yes… yes… yes… NO! Really? Well, the same to you, mac. (hangs up) Max: Another confused census taker? Sam: No, actually it was the commissioner with another idiotic and baffling assignment. Max: Does it involve wanton destruction? Sam: We can only hope. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/9 "2002-07-25T15:38:08Z")
Punk:Nice nose ring. You what would look good on it? Barkeep: No, what? Punk: The Bar. [grabs nose ring and slams down] ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/10 "2002-07-25T16:31:13Z")
From Zork - the old guy who is drinking: “Want some rye?? COURSE ya’ do!” ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/11 "2002-07-25T17:11:38Z")
Sam and Max Hit the Road is the funniest computer game ever. I wish it still ran on my computer (MS-DOS compatibility be damned). One of my favorites was from the trailer for the game on the Rebel Assault CD: “What has four legs, long floppy ears, and a callous disregard for private property?” ---
**Author:** ![kgriffey79](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@kgriffey79](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kgriffey79)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/12 "2002-07-25T20:02:14Z")
IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER… 1. Monkey Island- “Look behind you! a three headed monkey!” 2. MI2- Guybrush: I’m on a whole new adventure. Pirate: Growing a mustache? Guybrush: No, Bigger than That Pirate: A beard?!? 3. MI2- “Marco Largo LaGrande, Hell on sea or on land The Good news: He’s dead The Bad news: He’s bred” 4.MI- “Wow! That’s the second biggest monkey head I’ve ever seen!” 5.MI- Pirate: What’s your name? Guybrush: It’s Guybrush. Pirate: What kinda name is that?! Guybrush: Well what’s yours?! Pirate: Mancomb 6.Sam and Max, talking about a bomb Sam: “Where should I put this thing so that it doesn’t hurt anyone we know or care about?” Max:“Out the window, Sam. There’s nobody but strangers out there.” 7.Day of the Tentacle- Bernard: “You know what they say: If you’re going to save the world, you got to kick some old ladies down the stairs.” 8.Day of the Tentacle “Sometimes I do stupid stuff, and I don’t even know why…as if my body were controlled by some demented, sadistic puppet-master…” Bernard Bernoulli “Well, we all feel that way sometimes.” Weird Ed Edison, “Day of the Tentacle” Sorry ☹ I know it’s a little Lucasarts heavy, well it is all Lucasarts, but there are so many more great ones. I’ll get back to you after I do some more research… ---
**Author:** ![xash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c6cbf5/32.png) [@xash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xash)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/13 "2002-07-25T21:50:37Z")
i’ll have to second **Max Carnage** “All of your base are belong to us” ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/14 "2002-07-25T22:39:16Z")
From **Clive Barker’s Undying** : Patrick Galloway carries the head of Lizbeth, who he has just bested, in his hands. It continues to rant and gnash at him about “the coming of the King” until he reaches a cliff, sets her head on fire, and tosses it over as it screams at him. Galloway watches it fall and says calmly, “ **Ye were sayin’?** ” Also from \*_Undying_: An ancient church is being shaken to its foundation by some strange cataclysm. Monks are falling left and right, and the Abbot walks to the center of the cathedral, raises his arms and intones “ **O Lord, protect me from harm.** ” A moment later, a huge slab of stone falls from the ceiling and flattens him. It’s better for what happens after the line that the line itself, but still a point of unexpected humor in the game. One more from **Undying** (_ **spolier** _): Jeremiah Covenant rants at Galloway about the world that he is going to bring about with his new power, until Galloway interrupts him by extending his magical scythe and saying “ **Jeremiah… ye talk too much.** ” He follows this by chopping Jeremiah’s head off. Much beheading in that game. _grin_ ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/15 "2002-07-25T23:11:05Z")
Grim Fandango had some great ones. Manny: Run, you pigeons! It’s Robert Frost! Glottis: Manny, Until now we scraped across the ground like rats, but from now on, we soar! Yeah! Like EAGLES…ON…POGO STICKS! Manny(about his casino patrons): Thrill seeking rich folk with a poor grasp of statistics and probability. Manny:(Paraphrased) I don’t understand how you can blow up ballons without lungs. Clown: Well, you don’t have a tounge, but that doesn’t seem to shut you up, now does it? ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/16 "2002-07-25T23:27:28Z")
Anything from Duke Nukem 3D ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/17 "2002-07-25T23:36:55Z")
From Starcraft (they ganked it from somewhere): Do not provoke me to fight, you can no more evade my wrath that you could your own shadow ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/18 "2002-07-25T23:47:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ElwoodCuse \* > \*\*Sam and Max Hit the Road is the funniest computer game ever. I wish it still ran on my computer (MS-DOS compatibility be damned). \*\* Agreed on both counts. Sam: My mind is a churning miasma of scintillating thoughts and turgid ideas. Max: Who’s isn’t? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/19 "2002-07-26T00:21:05Z")
The wording may be off a little- “Hey! If Tomator really wants to kill us, howcome he keeps leaving all these supplies and weapons for us?” “Quiet, Olaf! Other characters in video games never ask these questions.” “Yeah! Are you trying to get us in trouble?” And- “I have this feeling of deja vu. I think we’ve been here before.” “We have. This is the player’s 8th try on this level.” And- “I hope we get killed again.” “Why?” “I’ve got a crush on that valkyrie.” (The Continue/End screen features a a valkyrie) ---
**Author:** ![p\_cific\_812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@p\_cific\_812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/p_cific_812)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/20 "2002-07-26T04:13:58Z")
You have no chance to survive make your time… (AYBABTU!) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755.md?page=2)