# Best video/PC game quotes! minor spoils possible **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 25, 2002, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755 "2002-07-25T13:17:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/21 "2002-07-26T06:01:59Z")
From what we can tell, it is the late twenty-first century. We’re in what used to be the western United States. We think they fired first, but it doesn’t really matter now, does it? All we know is what we can see. Look around you. Sand, rock, rusted metal, this is what’s left. Some folks were better prepared than others. They managed to make it to the underground vaults. But they’ve gotta come out sooner or later, and whether you walk out of a vault, a hut, or a sheet-metal shack, you walk out into the same world. If you’ve got a home, stay near it. If you’ve got a gun, keep it close. Even if the wasteland wasn’t full of mutated animals, mutated people, and just plain mean folks with no respect for decency, you could still die out there just from radiation or thirst. Still, it ain’t much of a world, but it’s what we’ve got. Some folks are trying to clean it up. Some want to bring back a little law and order. Maybe they’re a little zealous about it, but can you blame 'em? Some are just happy with the way things are, where firepower solves problems and anything is for sale, even humans. What are YOU going to do? ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/22 "2002-07-26T06:08:33Z")
_Grim Fandango:_ Manny: Ooh, I as beginning to think our transportation wasn’t ostentatious enough. Chepito (receiving a pair of stockings): Hey! Real silk; where’d you get these? Manny: I was wearing them the whole time. Chepito: You too? (on examining the cat box) Manny: As tempting as it seems, I don’t want to jump in the huge pile of used kitty litter. (paraphrased) Meche: I know you work for one of the most heavily armed organizations in the city. Hand over your gun. Manny: I DON’T WORK FOR THE MOST HEAVILY ARMED ORGANIZATION ANYWHERE! Meche: What about the Lost Souls Alliance that’s been buying up all the guns in El Marrow? Manny: Them, I work for. Any of the “poems” you can make in the beatnik bar. Clambake! Carla’s rant about her mother. _Sam and Max Hit the Road:_ Pretty much anything Max says. ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/23 "2002-07-26T06:15:17Z")
I direct you to [Zany Video Game Quotes](http://zanyvg.overclocked.org/). Anything I could possibly come up with is already there. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/24 "2002-07-26T07:00:30Z")
From “You Don’t Know Jack: Movies”: “I Said _Chisohlm_ Trail!” ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/25 "2002-07-26T13:56:42Z")
Just about the entirety of the talk radio station in Grand Theft Auto 3. “Take off your pants, open your mind!” “Yes, caller, are you _sane_?” “Absolutely, Lazlow! Killer bees!” “What was this Australian-American War?” “God_damn_, not another one!” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/26 "2002-07-26T21:05:21Z")
From _Starcraft_: “Thank God for cold fusion!”, in one of the cutscenes. But you really need the full context for that to make sense. At the end of the expansion, _Brood War_: “Right now, I’m pretty much the Queen Bitch of the Universe.” In the “Journal” from _Dark Reign_, part of the backstory: “Interstellar war and galactic heros are all well and good, but I could sure go for some pie.” In _Duke Nukem 3D_, there’s a copy of the Duke Nukem arcade game. “I don’t have time to play with myself.” ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/27 "2002-07-26T22:51:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Punk:Nice nose ring. You what would look good on it? > Barkeep: No, what? > Punk: The Bar. [grabs nose ring and slams down] That, I believe, was from _Full Throttle_. “It’s not your ears I worry about… it’s what’s between them that scares me!” Or from _Day of the Tentacle_… Benjamin Franklin: “What’s your name, young man?” Hoagie: “Hoagie, sir.” Ben: “Hoagie? I’m going to name a sandwich after you one day!” ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/28 "2002-07-26T23:00:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BraheSilver \* > _ **Grim Fandango:** _ > > Damn I love that game. > > I think I just stumbled on this one the last time I played it (Last Week). > > During Year 3, when he goes to see Domino, Domino will be listening to headphones and will not pay any attention, unless you try to pull a weapon(like the scythe, or a gun), at which point he will say “Put THAT away.” > > What’s really funny is if you try this with a really tiny hammer. > > Domino:(Pulls out his gun)Put that…(sees that you are holding a tiny hammer and begins chuckling, then laughing hysterically before he puts his gun away) Okay, you can keep the tiny hammer. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/29 "2002-07-26T23:11:19Z")
Best of all time would probably be the Demonhunter from Warcraft III. He says something to the effect of, “Darkness called, but I was busy. I \*69’ed darkness, but all I got was his answering machine. I said ‘hello are you there darkness?’ but Darkness must be screening his calls” Also the Dreadlord has a quote _phone rings_ “Darkness? You’re trying to get a hold of the Demonhunter? no, I don’t have his number!” ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/30 "2002-07-26T23:37:34Z")
Baldur’s Gate: _Go for the eyes Boo!!! Go for the Eyes!_ Helps to know that Boo is a hamster, and the guy saying it is a deranged Ranger. ---
**Author:** ![funkynige](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@funkynige](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funkynige)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/31 "2002-07-27T00:36:55Z")
From **Blood 2** : [sung] Another day, another corpse, another reason, for me to hurt you. Your bad day, just got worse. What we have here is a failure to coagulate. Loads from **Serious Sam 2** but I can’t remember any at the moment :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/32 "2002-07-27T00:44:42Z")
[hijack] That “All your base are belong to us” thing is from a real game? I thought the animation looked a little Contra-ish. What is the game? What platform? [/hijack] I don’t play many computer games or games from the newer platforms, so mine are a bit old. “Get over here!” -Scorpian “Ar-ru-kin!” -Ryu/Ken ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/33 "2002-07-27T02:45:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wolfian \* > **[hijack]That “All your base are belong to us” thing is from a real game? I thought the animation looked a little Contra-ish. What is the game? What platform?** Zero Wing, Sega Genesis. It was never released in the U.S. though-only Japan and Europe. The bad translation comes from the European version. ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/34 "2002-07-27T02:46:40Z")
_Dungeon Keeper 2_ has a bevy of great quotes. “Your dungeon floor is slanted. Angry creatures cannot play marbles.” “Hungry creatures cannot reach their toes.” “If you were any kind of real Keeper, you’d have won by now.” And my favorite, at 3 in the morning: “Your nocturnal gaming habits have earned you a secret tip: GO TO BED!” ---
**Author:** ![p\_cific\_812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@p\_cific\_812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/p_cific_812)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/35 "2002-07-27T05:32:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Narile \* > \*\*…Helps to know that Boo is a hamster, and the guy saying it is a deranged Ranger. \*\* Boo isn’t just any hamster. He’s a _miniature giant space_ hamster! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/36 "2002-07-27T06:38:40Z")
**SPOOFE** reminded me of another From “Maniac mansion: Day of the Tentacle”: HOAGIE sees Thomas Jefferson inspecting a log in his desk, he tells him it was going to become a famous log someday! If you then commanded HOAGIE to examine the log, he replies to you with: “It’s big, it’s heavy, it’s wood!!!” ---
**Author:** ![DarkJudicator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@DarkJudicator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkJudicator)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/37 "2002-07-27T07:40:34Z")
**Warcraft 2** : “STOP POKING MEEE!” Echoed later in the Protoss Observer in **StarCraft** (I love Blizzard’s running gags :D). More **StarCraft** iness: “I’m about to drop the hammer … and dispense some in-dis-criminate justice!” – Siege tank driver, needs to be said with proper Southern redneck accent for full effect. “It doesn’t take a telepath to know what _you’re_ thinking.” – Sarah Kerrigan, before she lost her cuteness. … and anything ripped from the **Alien** movies that **StarCraft** so obviously pays homage to, just because the context of the game makes the quotes funny. (“In the pipe, five-by-five”, “How do I get out of this chickensh!t outfit?”, etc) **Blood** : The show tunes Caleb sings when he’s idle. There’s something sickly amusing about an undead cult member humming “Strangers in the night, exchanging glances…” while picking zombie entrails off his pitchfork. The numerous Evil Dead quotes. “I don’t know nothin’ about birthin’ babies, Miss Scarlett” when presented with the Rosemary’s Baby type lurking in the baby carriage. (It’s in a secret part. Cracked me up first time I heard it.) More will no doubt occur to me as soon as I hit Submit. ---
**Author:** ![Eternal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@Eternal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eternal)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/38 "2002-07-27T07:44:49Z")
Kane, of the **Command and Conquer** series of games, has a number of great lines, rendered priceless because -well, because _he is Kane!_: “General, I am the Future!” **Red Alert** , just after he kills Nadia who just killed Stalin. Consider this exchange from **Tiberian Sun** , that I obtained from a website _Kane_: “It would be a sad error in judgement, General Solomon, to mistake me for a corpse.” _General Solomon_: “My judgement is sound Kane, and I am not afraid of ghosts, or you.” _Kane_: “Perhaps you should be.” **Max Payne** ’s also has some memorable quotes. I know I myself have had the phrase “the flesh of fallen angels” in my head for weeks after I finished the game. There is also a bit of narration during a dream sequence in which Max comes upon the revelation that he is not only a comic book character, but a video game character. I can’t remember all of it, but I laughed my arse off. He ends it: “Funny as hell, it’s the worst thing I could think of.” or some such. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2002, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/39 "2002-07-29T06:35:47Z")
> [@](#): > > Baldur’s Gate: > Go for the eyes Boo!!! Go for the Eyes! Ah, yes, Minsc, Ranger Berserker. He’s the reason I went looking for this thread again. He’s also got “Butt kicking for goodness” “You point, I punch” and “Evil round every corner. Be careful not to step in any.” And while we’re on the you’ve-clicked-too-many-times things from \*arcraft, there’s also the Science Vessel (Who let all these monkeys loose? Jane, stop this crazy thing! D’oh!), the Arbiter (You seek knowledge of time travel? Here is your first lesson. _rewinds_ You seek knowledge of time travel?), and Artanis, a hero from the expansion (Stop it! What do you think I am, an Orc? This is not just Warcraft in space! It’s much more sophisticated!). **DarkJudicator** , is that really hidden in the _observer_, of all things? I never listened to one of those beyond a few random beeps. ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2002, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755/40 "2002-07-29T06:50:27Z")
I haven’t thought about **Blood** or its sequel in years. Great quotes in there from Caleb. My favorite remains from the first, when Caleb busts into a circus tent, with a tightwire you have to walk eventually, and just bursts into this manic “JOJO! JOJO! I WANT JOJO!” It’s the delivery that does it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-video-pc-game-quotes-minor-spoils-possible/120755.md?page=3)