# Best way to blow up the Pyramids? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 23, 2017, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469 "2017-08-23T15:53:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/41 "2017-08-23T20:21:55Z")
the Best Way to destroy the Pyramid is graphically depicted in the last panel of “The Hardest Head in the World” by renowned MAD artist Don Martin. It’s in his book _Don Martin Bounces Back_ (the same one that has National Gorilla Suit Day), but I can’t find an image to post here. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/42 "2017-08-23T20:42:24Z")
> [@Atomic\_Alex](#): > > Well it had to happen eventually, the international community has decided it has finally had enough of the Pyramids sitting there, mocking them, like a giant middle-finger to the rest of the world, and by unanimous vote\* and over the objections of the Egyptians they’ve decided to blow them up. > > \*\*yes this was inspired by the current shenanigans in the USA regarding the removal of historic statues, I have my own opinions on that but its not what the thread is about A couple of privates and a butterbar and tell em to clean it. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/43 "2017-08-23T21:16:06Z")
> [@Richard\_Parker](#): > > If you’re taking space weapons ideas from me, something has gone terribly wrong. I agree. > > What’s the problem with the sun? Too hot? The problem is that your proposal as phrased is, in terms of orbital mechanics, gibberish. 🙂 First, you can’t shoot something past the sun in order to accelerate it in the sense that you mean. Don’t get me wrong, the sun accelerates things constantly, and moving something closer to the sun will increase the acceleration it derives from the sun, but that acceleration is mostly acceleration in terms of altering the direction of travel and not in terms of making something go faster or slower relative to the earth. You can’t use the sun’s gravity well to do any kind of gravitational slingshot in the way you’re thinking - the sun’s gravity can’t alter your orbit around the sun, because that’s what your orbit _is_. You need another gravity source that’s moving relative to the sun. Second, the delta-V requirements to fire something close to the sun are ridiculous. You basically have to cancel out most of the earth’s 30km/s orbital velocity. Then all you’d get is a highly eccentric orbit, and assuming you calculated correctly and that your projectile arrives back in the vicinity of earth, the encounter would be best described as the earth running into the projectile rather than vice versa. In this case you’d be better off expending the ridiculous amounts of fuel you burned by accelerating straight at your target. Third, if you really want something to be moving at very high speeds relative to earth you’ll be best off using Jupiter’s gravity well to set your projectile onto a highly eccentric orbit that crosses earth’s orbital path at roughly right angles, which should get you into that same 30km/s range while having only expended a tiny fraction of the energy. Really, you’d know all this if you played Kerbal Space Program. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/44 "2017-08-23T21:18:22Z")
Yeesh, all you need are a couple thousand big red rock eaters. ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/45 "2017-08-23T21:29:51Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > a car going 60 miles per hour and a car going 50 mph hitting head on has a combined velocity of 110 mph. Also, .9999 planes on treadmills will take off exactly the same as 1 plane on a treadmill. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Parker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@Richard\_Parker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Parker)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/46 "2017-08-23T21:46:22Z")
> [@Gorsnak](#): > > The problem is that your proposal as phrased is, in terms of orbital mechanics, gibberish. 🙂 > > First, you can’t shoot something past the sun in order to accelerate it in the sense that you mean. Don’t get me wrong, the sun accelerates things constantly, and moving something closer to the sun will increase the acceleration it derives from the sun, but that acceleration is mostly acceleration in terms of altering the direction of travel and not in terms of making something go faster or slower relative to the earth. You can’t use the sun’s gravity well to do any kind of gravitational slingshot in the way you’re thinking - the sun’s gravity can’t alter your orbit around the sun, because that’s what your orbit _is_. You need another gravity source that’s moving relative to the sun. > > Second, the delta-V requirements to fire something close to the sun are ridiculous. You basically have to cancel out most of the earth’s 30km/s orbital velocity. Then all you’d get is a highly eccentric orbit, and assuming you calculated correctly and that your projectile arrives back in the vicinity of earth, the encounter would be best described as the earth running into the projectile rather than vice versa. In this case you’d be better off expending the ridiculous amounts of fuel you burned by accelerating straight at your target. > > Third, if you really want something to be moving at very high speeds relative to earth you’ll be best off using Jupiter’s gravity well to set your projectile onto a highly eccentric orbit that crosses earth’s orbital path at roughly right angles, which should get you into that same 30km/s range while having only expended a tiny fraction of the energy. > > Really, you’d know all this if you played Kerbal Space Program. 😛 The point of the sun was to turn the craft around, not make it go faster. And it’s a better choice than Jupiter because of the symbolism, which is why we Don’t let nerds make these decisions. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/47 "2017-08-23T22:01:13Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > ([cough, cough](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=742823)) I can’t believe you resurrected that beast! We could use the mass from that thread alone as a kinetic weapon to take down the pyramids! Except…by resurrecting it, you might have caused a black hole to form on the earth, dooming us all!!! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/48 "2017-08-23T22:25:47Z")
Michael Bay covered this in one of his [documentaries.](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1055369/?ref_=nv_sr_4) The Constructicons combine for form Devastator, which is able to shred that puppy to reveal the Sun Harvester. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/49 "2017-08-23T22:59:03Z")
> [@Richard\_Parker](#): > > The point of the sun was to turn the craft around, not make it go faster. > > And it’s a better choice than Jupiter because of the symbolism, which is why we Don’t let nerds make these decisions. 🙂 The sun won’t turn the craft around in the sense required by your plan. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/50 "2017-08-23T23:13:49Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > Do we just want to collapse them, or turn them to dust? > > They would probably collapse just fine with a shit-ton of ANFO placed inside. Lots of rock fragments and giant blocks left scattered around, though. They’re built at the same angle as sand and gravel collapse into. They can’t collapse no more. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/51 "2017-08-23T23:22:43Z")
The best way for one to be blown up would be if it went in the air, flipped over and landed on its tip exactly where it is now. ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/52 "2017-08-23T23:33:53Z")
Just [ignite the grain dust](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dust_explosion). They were [built to store grain](http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/05/politics/ben-carson-pyramids-grain/index.html), right? ---
**Author:** ![Renz\_Medicinal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Renz\_Medicinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renz_Medicinal)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/53 "2017-08-23T23:39:22Z")
No miners here? Just drill blast holes in a 10m x 10m grid through the whole thing, pump in ANFO, stand back a safe (very safe) distance and boom! Sorry, the thing won’t disappear. It will just collapse on all sides into a pile or broken limestone. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/54 "2017-08-24T00:02:22Z")
Is there a time limit? Can we wait for climate change and aim a glacier at them? ---
**Author:** ![JHBoom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/13edae/32.png) [@JHBoom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JHBoom)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/55 "2017-08-24T00:18:52Z")
There’s an old saying in the Marine Corps: Lock two Marine Privates in a windowless concrete bunker, with nothing but an anvil in it. Open the door an hour later, and you’ll find the anvil broken and both Privates missing. I’ve heard the Army has a similar saying as well. So on that note… A full battalion of Army and Marine Privates and PFCs - over a thousand of them. Bus/truck them to the pyramids, tell them not to touch the pyramids, then leave them there, with no adult supervision. Come back in a few hours to a few dozen Privates throwing fist-sized chunks of pyramid rubble at each other because they’re bored. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/56 "2017-08-24T00:27:01Z")
> [@JHBoom](#): > > There’s an old saying in the Marine Corps: Lock two Marine Privates in a windowless concrete bunker, with nothing but an anvil in it. Open the door an hour later, and you’ll find the anvil broken and both Privates missing. > I’ve heard the Army has a similar saying as well. > > So on that note… > > A full battalion of Army and Marine Privates and PFCs - over a thousand of them. Bus/truck them to the pyramids, tell them not to touch the pyramids, then leave them there, with no adult supervision. Come back in a few hours to a few dozen Privates throwing fist-sized chunks of pyramid rubble at each other because they’re bored. Or tell them there’s a log of chew and a carton of reds SOMEWHERE in there. Sent from my FRD-L04 using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/57 "2017-08-24T01:07:45Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > No bomb necessary - just put up a sign “Free rocks - please help yourself”. Gone within a week or two, I reckon. That’s what happened to the limestone casing, but it took centuries. > [@cochrane](#): > > So Cairo is basically Las Vegas without the roulette and blackjack? The cocktails and strip joints aren’t as good either. Weather’s about the same. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/58 "2017-08-24T01:29:09Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > The cocktails and strip joints aren’t as good either. Weather’s about the same. Well, Hell. ---
**Author:** ![Mavic\_Chen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mavic\_Chen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mavic_Chen)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/59 "2017-08-24T15:35:26Z")
Devise a plan whereby the Earth is crashed into the Sun. That’ll fix them. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2017, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469/60 "2017-08-24T15:47:07Z")
> [@Mavic\_Chen](#): > > Devise a plan whereby the Earth is crashed into the Sun. That’ll fix them. Cutting off your nose to spite your face? You see how well that worked with the sphinx. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-blow-up-the-pyramids/794469.md?page=4)