# Best way to commit suicide and preserve organs for donation? (do not need answer fast, heh) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 24, 2011, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855 "2011-03-24T16:34:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jonesj2205](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecc23a/32.png) [@jonesj2205](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jonesj2205)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/21 "2011-03-24T19:45:17Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > There was a House MD episode where that was actually a plot element: > [House season 3 - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Son_of_Coma_Guy) > > I don’t recall what the methods actually were (or if they even showed that bit). The man actually asked House what the best method was. If I recall House told him to take some aspirin and then hang himself. Suffocating being preferred over neck snapping, if I recall correctly. They did not show it however, Wilson established an alibi for them while House waited in the hall. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/22 "2011-03-25T00:39:21Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > There’s a movie about the subject but If I name it before you watch it the plot is spoiled. > > Seven Pounds I remember reading the reviews for that one. Good _lord_. No, death-by-jellyfish really isn’t the way to go. Sheesh, did these people even _think_ for a moment? On a second thought, don’t answer that. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/23 "2011-03-25T01:38:32Z")
> [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > Yeah, but if you do it in the ER lobby (or just outside) you might be saved before you lost too much blood. And parking is like $5. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/24 "2011-03-25T01:39:57Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > I remember reading the reviews for that one. Good _lord_. > > No, death-by-jellyfish really isn’t the way to go. Sheesh, did these people even _think_ for a moment? > On a second thought, don’t answer that. I wondered about that myself. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/25 "2011-03-25T03:15:18Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > I’m pretty sure the drugs will render the organs unfit for transplant. Any drug that can kill you is not benign. > > ER lobby-gunshot to the head. Use a suppressor so you don’t disturb others. This. Shove the barrel of the pistol deep into your mouth and pull the trigger. The shot will blow out the back of the head where the spinal cord comes in and you will turn off like a light switch, but no harvestable organs would be damaged. ---
**Author:** ![Sakuma\_Drops](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sakuma\_Drops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sakuma_Drops)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/26 "2011-03-25T03:26:26Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > I remember reading the reviews for that one. Good _lord_. > > No, death-by-jellyfish really isn’t the way to go. Sheesh, did these people even _think_ for a moment? > On a second thought, don’t answer that. Unfortunately, I saw that movie. I was definitely rooting for the jellyfish. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/27 "2011-03-25T03:42:27Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > There’s a movie about the subject but If I name it before you watch it the plot is spoiled. > > Seven Pounds Of course, the method in that movie makes no sense. He puts himself in an ice cold bathtub with a poisonous jellyfish. Wouldn’t the poison ruin his organs? Idiot. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/28 "2011-03-25T08:33:52Z")
I’ve read that the Chinese shoot political dissidents in the back of the neck to preserve the organs for donation. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/29 "2011-03-25T11:37:03Z")
> [@sugar\_and\_spice](#): > > Do you need spoiler tags for TV episodes that aired years ago? Can’t hurt I guess > > [SPOILER]Actually I remember an ER episode where a father shot himself in the head so that his one remaining kidney would be donated to his daughter. The story was that he had already donated one kidney to her, but a drug trial botched that up. > > [http://www.playandwatch.net/play-295211-ER-Season-11-Episode-12-The-Providers-.html](http://www.playandwatch.net/play-295211-ER-Season-11-Episode-12-The-Providers-.html) > > His suicide is not in the summary ^^. Obviously it was a few years ago so I could be fuzzy on the storyline. But, if you trust my memory, and ER writers for scientific accuracy, then there’s one point for gunshot to the head. IIRC she did get the kidney. > > [/SPOILER] I think I’ve seen the same episode you’re thinking of, and it’s not ER, which I never watched. It was one of those lawyer shows, probably Ally McBeal or The Practice. The would-be donor was a convicted murderer, with a life sentence, suing for the right to end his own life to save his daughter. In the end he escapes from custody, goes to a hospital, holds the doctors at gunpoint and demands they prep him for surgery, then shoots himself. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/30 "2011-03-25T12:24:25Z")
One of the neighbors on “Desperate Housewives” just did this very thing. She handed the nurse the donation papers, which named Susan as the recipient of her kidney, and then shot herself in the head. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/31 "2011-03-25T19:08:41Z")
One might try a [Captive Bolt Pistol](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captive_bolt_pistol), in lieu of an actual firearm—some are gunpowder-driven, so it’s not like you’d have to haul an air compressor into the ER with you. It might be better to use than a gun if you want to end up alive-but-brain-dead enough to end up on life support, rather than an unusable corpse with an exploded head.\* \*Band name. ---
**Author:** ![akira5822](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@akira5822](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akira5822)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2011, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/32 "2011-03-25T23:22:41Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > To quote [Vinnie Antonelli](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100212/quotes):“Richie loved to use 22s because the bullets are small and they don’t come out the other end like a 45, see, a 45 will blow a barn door out the back of your head and there’s a lot of dry cleaning involved, but a 22 will just rattle around like Pac-Man until you’re dead.” This, After you have been wheeled to a surgery, Organs start decaying almost right away, Get on the table and fire away. ---
**Author:** ![TravisFromOR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cc9497/32.png) [@TravisFromOR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TravisFromOR)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/33 "2011-03-26T08:00:22Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > There’s a movie about the subject but If I name it before you watch it the plot is spoiled. > > Seven Pounds I thought you were talking about the Clint Eastwood movie. Blood Work ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/34 "2011-03-26T09:12:51Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > One of the neighbors on “Desperate Housewives” just did this very thing. She handed the nurse the donation papers, which named Susan as the recipient of her kidney, and then shot herself in the head. …you couldn’t have used a spoiler box for that..? Thanks, PL! I vote bullet in the brain stem. If you could figure a way to have a few pirhuana eat out the same said area, that would be interesting. And less messy. (I hear they use napkins.) ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/35 "2011-03-27T14:06:51Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > …you couldn’t have used a spoiler box for that..? Thanks, PL! > > I vote bullet in the brain stem. > > If you could figure a way to have a few pirhuana eat out the same said area, that would be interesting. And less messy. (I hear they use napkins.) Is DH still on? I thought it was over. I hollered at a mod to spoiler it for others, though. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/36 "2011-03-27T14:28:31Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Is DH still on? I thought it was over. I hollered at a mod to spoiler it for others, though. Is done. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/37 "2011-03-27T14:42:21Z")
**Big T** hanks, **Big T** and **Czarcasm**! Now I’ll just have the pirhuana eat out the pre-spoiler-box part of my brain. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/38 "2011-03-27T15:32:38Z")
A deep slash across the throat, while in the hospital, should do the trick, right? Of course that’s much harder than pulling a trigger. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/39 "2011-03-27T16:14:30Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > A deep slash across the throat, while in the hospital, should do the trick, right? Of course that’s much harder than pulling a trigger. It’s easier to fix, too. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855/40 "2011-03-27T16:46:56Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > It’s easier to fix, too. I’m no surgeon, but it seems if one went deep enough - totally severing arteries and cutting into the esophagus, there’s no way to save the patient in time. Again, it’d be physically and psychologically difficult but, short of a guillotine, it offers a clean death for organ harvesting – plus it’s portable. ETA: One would need a serious knife, I imagine. A highly sharpened chef’s knife would make it a lot more achievable than your average pocket knife. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-commit-suicide-and-preserve-organs-for-donation-do-not-need-answer-fast-heh/575855.md?page=3)