# Best way to deal with lunch thieves? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 12, 2016, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048 "2016-04-12T22:56:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/61 "2016-04-14T14:06:08Z")
> [@filmore](#): > > Is your thief stealing the whole lunch or just taking single items out of the lunches? > > What about getting one of those driveway alarms? They come in two parts–a battery-powered remote motion sensor and a base station. Put the motion sensor in the lunch bag and the base station at your desk. When the thief opens the lunch bag, the base station will ring and you can catch the thief red handed. > > They also have motion activated alarms which work in a similar manner. Put the alarm in the lunch bag and it will go off when the thief opens it up. Some have a remote control so you can turn it off while it’s still in the bag. The downside to any kind of alarm is that someone might legitimately need to move your lunch - theirs is behind it in the fridge, they’re trying to reorganize the fridge to fit something oddly shaped in there, and so on. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/62 "2016-04-14T14:14:19Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Want to really get your money’s worth? Post the video on YouTube, include the perp’s name in the video title, and send the link to everyone in your office. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ace)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/63 "2016-04-14T14:15:59Z")
Ipecac. ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/64 "2016-04-14T14:22:21Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > The downside to any kind of alarm is that someone might legitimately need to move your lunch - theirs is behind it in the fridge, they’re trying to reorganize the fridge to fit something oddly shaped in there, and so on. This^^, and also the alarm solution sounds a bit Dwight Shrute-ish. If somebody at my office was the motivated kind of crazy I would be building a termination file with HR. Anyone who has the motivation and time to booby trap their lunch bag and spring out from behind a corner when it beeps, isn’t welcome at this office. You might be on the correct side morally, but going about it a tone deaf way. ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/65 "2016-04-14T14:24:04Z")
> [@Johnny\_Ace](#): > > Ipecac. I don’t think the cops are going to wait for you to clean out your desk, we’ll just mail you your shit. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/66 "2016-04-14T14:46:37Z")
> [@Eddie The Horrible](#): > > Just like in the Rogers ad, get Toronto Blue Jays’ Russ Martin to hide behind the fridge, because, as anyone knows - the catcher hates stealing. And if Martin isn’t available, hire Terry Tate. Your stolen food, along with any other office problems will disappear. “You kill the joe, you make some mo!” ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/67 "2016-04-14T15:05:33Z")
> [@Whiskey\_Dickens](#): > > This^^, and also the alarm solution sounds a bit Dwight Shrute-ish. If somebody at my office was the motivated kind of crazy I would be building a termination file with HR. Anyone who has the motivation and time to booby trap their lunch bag and spring out from behind a corner when it beeps, isn’t welcome at this office. > > You might be on the correct side morally, but going about it a tone deaf way. True, but then how do you stop the thefts? Sometimes you have to sink to their level to fight them :). At least an alarm won’t make them sick like tainted food. If you use the driveway alarm, it would just beep at the base station. The motion sensor doesn’t beep. And I think the motion sensor actually works based on sensing changes in light rather than it being moved. So your lunch bag should be able to be moved around, but if the bag is opened then the alarm is triggered. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/68 "2016-04-14T15:06:53Z")
> [@August\_West](#): > > Years ago, I caught and confronted a cow-orker that stole my lunch. It was pretty easy to determine who it was, since it was in a passcard-protected space that only three people had access to over the previous 72 hours. > > I made him give me $20 to ease my pain and suffering. When he balked, I reminded him the penalty for stealing a lunch was termination and he was lucky I didn’t make it $100. Tell us more! What kind of guy was this? How did he react? How did he try to rationalize it? Like many posters in this thread, I have a really hard time understanding this kind of assholish behavior. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/69 "2016-04-14T15:33:14Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > … > Want to really get your money’s worth? Post the video on YouTube, include the perp’s name in the video title, and send the link to everyone in your office. It would stop the thefts, and also publicly humiliate the thief, thereby satisfying the desires for revenge that have been expressed throughout this thread. If my lunch were getting repeatedly stolen, I’d definitely pay $50 to make that happen. This is the best. Obviously if the perp is the owner you’ll be looking for a job. But if he’s anywhere between you and the owner (and there’s any justice in your work world, not always a true statement) then the perp will be looking for work. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/70 "2016-04-14T15:50:54Z")
We had this problem at my work. It turned out to be mostly the security guards. I would often see a round, blue bottom sticking out of the fridge when I passed the canteen area, often with an unsecured handgun sticking out too. Don’t argue with an armed person. When I complained to the security department they said, and I quote, “How am I supposed to tell all my guards which food is yours?” ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/71 "2016-04-14T15:53:41Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > When I complained to the security department they said, and I quote, “How am I supposed to tell all my guards which food is yours?” Apparently it’s too much to ask that they grasp the concept of which food is not theirs. :dubious: Buttwads. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/72 "2016-04-14T20:17:15Z")
I vote for the camera =\> youtube route. Whether it is with ghost pepper or food dye you only catch them if they take your lunch. The camera will catch them no matter whose lunch they are taking. Put it on Youtube under the account “The Sandwich Avenger” and use a printer (no handwriting to trace) to print out the link and leave copies everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/73 "2016-04-14T20:57:28Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > I vote for the camera =\> youtube route. Whether it is with ghost pepper or food dye you only catch them if they take your lunch. The camera will catch them no matter whose lunch they are taking. Put it on Youtube under the account “The Sandwich Avenger” and use a printer (no handwriting to trace) to print out the link and leave copies everywhere. How about “The 'Wich Witch”? I suppose anonymizing is a good idea to prevent blowback. I’d further suggest printing the hardcopies off-site so that no electronic record of any kind exists at the office. Also be wary of security cameras that might catch you in the act of distributing the hardcopies (although this would make for a poetic downfall…). ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/74 "2016-04-14T21:15:28Z")
Live by the surreptitious YouTube; die by the surreptitious YouTube. Words for the ages. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/75 "2016-04-14T22:04:13Z")
> [@filmore](#): > > What about getting one of those driveway alarms? They come in two parts–a battery-powered remote motion sensor and a base station. Put the motion sensor in the lunch bag and the base station at your desk. When the thief opens the lunch bag, the base station will ring and you can catch the thief red handed. Or when someone moves the bag to make room for their own bag in the fridge the alarm will go off, and you can dash in and wrongly accuse someone of attempted theft. :dubious: A “Hidden Camera Monitoring” sign might have an impact on transgressors. ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/76 "2016-04-14T23:25:26Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Or when someone moves the bag to make room for their own bag in the fridge the alarm will go off, and you can dash in and wrongly accuse someone of attempted theft. :dubious: Whether or not they are holding your lunch would be a good indication if they stole it. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/77 "2016-04-14T23:34:04Z")
That was the thing about my alarm plan. The alarm would only go off if someone took the sandwich out of the bag. And having my name on the bag makes it unlikely to be an accident. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2016, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/78 "2016-04-15T00:28:18Z")
> [@filmore](#): > > Whether or not they are holding your lunch would be a good indication if they stole it. Mama Plant used to write my name on mine. Probably more embarrassing at 25 instead of six, though. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2016, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/79 "2016-04-15T03:11:48Z")
Pay someone to paint their whole body green and then sit on top of the fridge. Smiling, cross-legged, chillin. Maybe some pointy ear action, making burpy/frog sounds. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2016, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048/80 "2016-04-15T03:34:13Z")
ok that last post was misleading - I didn’t want to suggest the idea of paying someone, and then sitting on something. I meant to say that the paintee is _also_ the sitee. (new words are ok, though, right?) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-deal-with-lunch-thieves/752048.md?page=5)