# best way to find a good marriage counselor

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-a-good-marriage-counselor/664867>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [July 30, 2013, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-a-good-marriage-counselor/664867 "2013-07-30T01:25:31Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\
**Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-a-good-marriage-counselor/664867/1 "2013-07-30T01:25:31Z")

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My wife and I are currently separated, have been about 4 months. Before that we had 22 years of marriage, so we’re not exactly spring chickens here.

Anyway, we are at a point where we need to start working actively on either getting back together, or calling it finished. Limbo sucks.

We have a number of issues to work on (infidelity-her, general dumbassness-me), so we think we need some professional help. So my question is how do you go about finding a good marriage counselor?

Atlanta-area, just in case anyone has local knowledge.

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**Author:** ![NotDeadYet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NotDeadYet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotDeadYet)\
**Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-a-good-marriage-counselor/664867/2 "2013-07-30T04:07:25Z")

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Like any other professional, you need to ask your doctor, clergyman and even your lawyer. If you have any friends who,have gone to a counselor, ask them. Not every counselor is right for everyone, so you may need to try more than one. Good luck.

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**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\
**Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-a-good-marriage-counselor/664867/3 "2013-07-30T13:05:00Z")

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Shop around. I know it’s hard when you already don’t get along. It might be worth visiting 3 or more counselors until you find one you agree on.

The wrong counselor will take your money and end up throwing fuel on a fire you want put out. The right counselor will help you both to say the things you need to say, in a safe way, and also take your money.