# Best way to find out if someone is dead.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-out-if-someone-is-dead/111118>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [May 28, 2002, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-out-if-someone-is-dead/111118 "2002-05-28T00:47:19Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 10\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\
**Post date:** [May 28, 2002, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-out-if-someone-is-dead/111118/1 "2002-05-28T00:47:19Z")

</div>

OK, this is a little creepy, but I need advice.

Assume that you, an ordinary type citizen without subpoena powers or superflous funds, and want to know if someone is alive or not. Nothing else, no history check, none of that stuff. Just one or the other.

What would you do? Internet options?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\
**Post date:** [May 28, 2002, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-out-if-someone-is-dead/111118/2 "2002-05-28T01:59:30Z")

</div>

The social security death index. You can google it, but I think you can find it at [Ancestry.com](http://Ancestry.com). I check it every now and again to see if my ex-husband is still alive.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\
**Post date:** [May 28, 2002, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-out-if-someone-is-dead/111118/3 "2002-05-28T03:39:16Z")

</div>

You poke him and say, “Hey … you dead or what?” Then you poke him again for the sake of thoroughness.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\
**Post date:** [May 28, 2002, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-out-if-someone-is-dead/111118/4 "2002-05-28T05:41:27Z")

</div>

Poke him in the eye with a stick. That’s what Homer did to Ned. If it’s on the Simpsons, it has to be true.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\
**Post date:** [May 28, 2002, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-out-if-someone-is-dead/111118/5 "2002-05-28T06:36:47Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Dijon Warlock \*  
> \*\*Poke him in the eye with a stick. That’s what Homer did to Ned. If it’s on the Simpsons, it has to be true. \*\*

As a matter of fact, Homer wasn’t too far off. Or so it seems to me. When my father died, the doctor listened verrrrry carefully for heart beat and breathing. And then, as a last test, flicked his eyelashes with a finger to see if there was any reaction. And, yes, he held a small mirror to nose and mouth looking for condensation. Sort of grisly.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![kase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@kase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kase)\
**Post date:** [May 28, 2002, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-out-if-someone-is-dead/111118/6 "2002-05-28T10:20:13Z")

</div>

for security reasons you might poke a wooden stick through his heart.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\
**Post date:** [May 28, 2002, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-out-if-someone-is-dead/111118/7 "2002-05-28T10:38:30Z")

</div>

Or _her_ heart, let’s be fair here…

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\
**Post date:** [May 28, 2002, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-out-if-someone-is-dead/111118/8 "2002-05-28T18:07:38Z")

</div>

\<hijack\>

Man calls 911: “I’m on a hunting trip with my buddy, and he’s had a heart attack! I think he’s dead! Should I call the police or bury him or what?”

Operator: “You can’t just bury him! The first thing is to make sure he’s really dead.”

\<Bang! Bang!\>

Man: “OK, he’s dead for sure. Now what?”  
\</hijack\>  
😃

RR  
(Sorry that doesn’t address your question.)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\
**Post date:** [May 28, 2002, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-out-if-someone-is-dead/111118/9 "2002-05-28T19:09:13Z")

</div>

He might have had a chance if you hadn’t dressed him out.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\
**Post date:** [May 28, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-find-out-if-someone-is-dead/111118/10 "2002-05-28T20:06:22Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by elucidator \*  
> \*\*He might have had a chance if you hadn’t dressed him out. \*\*

Har! 🙂