# Best way to lose a girlfriend

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 18, 1999, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059 "1999-08-18T14:12:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![middsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@middsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middsy)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 1999, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/1 "1999-08-18T14:12:00Z")

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I have recently been seeing two girls, and have now decided which one to hang onto, I want to blow the other girl out (english phrase meaning to get rid of) in the most tactful way, what are the best lines you people have heard for someone wanting to finish with you or lines you have used to finish with another!

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**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 1999, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/2 "1999-08-18T14:20:00Z")

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Male pig.

Be honest with her: “Gee, I’ve been seeing someone else too and since I’ve now decided that she’s better than you are, I don’t need you around any more.” Maybe this will help her to wise up and get a life.

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**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 1999, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/3 "1999-08-18T14:26:00Z")

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You’re on your own.

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**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 1999, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/4 "1999-08-18T14:43:00Z")

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“After sleeping with you, I’ve decided to become gay.”

🙂

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**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 1999, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/5 "1999-08-18T15:38:00Z")

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How about, I’ve enjoyed our time together but I’ve definately decided to move in another direction. Thanks for the memories!

or the time honored cop out- “It’s not you, it’s me!” That is the universal code for “I’m seeing someone else” when you’re too cowardly to say it yourself.

* * *

An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.

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**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 1999, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/6 "1999-08-18T15:53:00Z")

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I really want to settle down, have kids, all that wonderful stuff – just not with you!

Actually, I vote for honesty. If everyone knew you were all just playing the field (like I do) and you’ve chosen one person you want to be exclusive with (can’t for the life of me see WHY!) Then just say so. If, on the other hand, you’ve been lying to these two women about what’s been up, especially if you are sleeping with them both you are in for a major shit storm WHEN they find out. Believe me, they will. You could loose them both. Good luck!

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You can count the number of apples in one tree but never the number of trees in one apple.

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 1999, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/7 "1999-08-18T15:54:00Z")

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Just start digging your nose; that will gross anyone out.

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**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 1999, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/8 "1999-08-19T05:48:00Z")

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I guess it depends on how deeply you got yourself in. If you are casually dating two girls, then it shouldn’t be too hard to let one go with a simple “Not interested, I found someone else”. If you’ve been leading each to believe you’re dating them exclusively, you’re on your own because I haven’t been in the situation to help you out. 🙂

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“I guess it is possible for one person to make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.”

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**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 1999, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/9 "1999-08-19T11:21:00Z")

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Always try honesty first.  
Or…  
Tell her: my other girlfriend and I are getting together with a couple dozen of others for a group orgie, want to come?  
If she doesn’t dump you then and there well… what was the problem again?

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**Author:** ![Myndephuquer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@Myndephuquer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myndephuquer)\
**Post date:** [August 20, 1999, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/10 "1999-08-20T05:36:00Z")

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Just stop calling her. Don’t return her calls. And call her “bitch” a lot when you eventually do talk to her. She’ll get the message. It’s pretty rude, but it works.

If she asks to do something, just tell her that you can’t since you are seeing someone else a little more seriously. Then shut up. The more you talk, the worse you make it, especially in an emotionally charged moment such as that.

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**Author:** ![curious\_george](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b487fb/32.png) [@curious\_george](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curious_george)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 1999, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/11 "1999-08-19T18:34:00Z")

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Tell her you have VD.

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**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\
**Post date:** [August 19, 1999, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/12 "1999-08-19T20:27:00Z")

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A friend of mine’s new boyfriend once told her “I’m not going to kiss you any more unless you go down on me.”

He lost his girlfriend pretty quickly.

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**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 1999, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/13 "1999-08-21T19:52:00Z")

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Five simple words “Did you put on weight?”

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**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 1999, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/14 "1999-08-21T23:05:00Z")

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That’s a good one, Athena. 😉  
Someone suggested this:  
GIRL: If someone were to come between us I’d shoot myself on the spot!  
BOY: Well, Tracy, I have something to tell you, but first get off my new carpet!!

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**Author:** ![gypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbce88/32.png) [@gypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gypsy)\
**Post date:** [August 21, 1999, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/15 "1999-08-21T23:29:00Z")

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Sorry mate! I’d say you are going to be pretty much screwed once the both girls find out what you have done. "in the name of the father…etc…

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Unforgiven

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**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 1999, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/16 "1999-08-23T22:45:00Z")

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Uh…Gypsy…were you addressing \* me? \* Horrors!!

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**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\
**Post date:** [July 20, 2011, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/17 "2011-07-20T17:03:51Z")

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> [@BunnyGirl](#):
>
> Male pig.
> 
> Be honest with her: “Gee, I’ve been seeing someone else too and since I’ve now decided that she’s better than you are, I don’t need you around any more.” Maybe this will help her to wise up and get a life.

Wow, since when did the initial phase of dating guarantee exclusivity?

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**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\
**Post date:** [July 20, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/18 "2011-07-20T17:27:19Z")

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There’s always the high-school method of “I just want to be friends”.

You may want to take a moment to figure out how you got into the predicament in the first place, so you can avoid it in the future. Because as someone mentioned upthread, you are probably going to lose both of them.

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**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\
**Post date:** [July 20, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/19 "2011-07-20T17:28:33Z")

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> [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#):
>
> Wow, since when did the initial phase of dating guarantee exclusivity?

The rules were different a decade ago.

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**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\
**Post date:** [July 20, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-lose-a-girlfriend/7059/20 "2011-07-20T17:29:14Z")

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\<insert zombie joke here\>

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