# Best way to monitor a Teenagers Personal Computer use? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 12, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-monitor-a-teenagers-personal-computer-use/212816 "2003-11-12T15:16:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![shy\_guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-monitor-a-teenagers-personal-computer-use/212816/61 "2003-11-15T06:14:25Z")
> [@](#): > > By the way, what were your parents rules, if any, when it came to porn, chatrooms, and the like? There was a time limit to internet use. My parents knew absolutely nothing about the internet, so they weren’t really in a position to tell me what not to do. I ended up figuring it out for myself, mostly (though I never tried to go into porn-esque chatrooms or anything, and I knew better than to give out personal info or credit card #'s or anything of that nature anyway). > [@](#): > > Some of you are quite insistent that you got lots of porn and turned out just fine, but that’s just kind of anecdotal. That argument can be made once or twice about just about anything. So where’s the overwhelming evidence that looking at internet porn has some kind of negative effect on you? Since it’s the parent’s computer, they’re allowed to dictate what they do and don’t want it to be used for. However, if their son wants to use it to look at porn? He’s going to use it to look at porn. He’ll find ways to get around _any_ kind fo monitoring software (there are probably how-to guides for every single one), and never will he decide “this is too much work, I give up”. If they’re so concerned about a little bit of porn, make it a rule that he can only use the computer when they’re in the room with him or something. Otherwise, own up to the fact that young boys like boobs, that most of them will look at porn at some point, and that it won’t have a negative impact on him in the slightest. If they’re worried about online predators and the like, I don’t see how net filtering or tracking software is going to help anyway, since Instant Messanger is the real problem there. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-monitor-a-teenagers-personal-computer-use/212816/62 "2003-11-15T11:23:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by White Ink \* > \*\*How come so few of you are identifying with the parent here? \*\* Well, I not that far removed from the boy’s age(I am 20) and I remember the time my parents attempted to use some monitoring software on the computer we had - of course, I knew way more about the machine than them, and easily disabled it. Still, I do think the parents do have the right to monitor their son’s behavior, and prevent him from viewing porn, or any other material they deem is inappropriate. (Yes, I am a hypocrite in this regard.) I just don’t think software methods would work very well in the monitoring; and **CnoteChris** , I will concede that physical monitoring can be ineffective as well, since even if they placed the machine in a public room, they can’t watch it all the time. So, basically, that leaves one option: the parents have to accept that whatever they do, if their son is like most other teenage boys he will look at porn. They can talk to him about, and maybe try to guilt him out of it, but unless he is a really good-two shoes, if you let him on the internet he will look at porn. Now, I don’t think porn will harm the kid any - it certainly didn’t harm me(well, except for maybe my minor tentacle porn/Japanese schoolgirl fetish 😃 ) and it probably won’t harm him. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-monitor-a-teenagers-personal-computer-use/212816/63 "2003-11-16T01:51:45Z")
If the parents are really worried about predators and the like, they need to scare the shit out of him by either having a policeman bring some case files over, or just looking them up on the internet or the Discovery Channel. Dismembered corpses are gonna be the best deterrent from meeting strangers. It should also be obvious that there is _nothing_ they can do about porn. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-monitor-a-teenagers-personal-computer-use/212816/64 "2003-11-16T06:23:36Z")
[www.cybersitter.com](http://www.cybersitter.com) But you have to still go to some trouble yourself. It can log all the net usage, but those files can still be deleted. You should password protect the folder where they’re stored. The program at least makes it a lot harder to find s. Not impossible, but harder. The tracking feature is pretty strong, though. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-monitor-a-teenagers-personal-computer-use/212816/65 "2003-11-16T07:21:05Z")
And how do we know that the O.P. is not a teenager?:dubious: I’ve been reading his posts for a year now and I’m not convinced. ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-monitor-a-teenagers-personal-computer-use/212816/66 "2003-11-16T09:02:59Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Cardinal_ > **The program at least makes it a lot harder to find s.** Yeah… especicially if by “s”, you mean the National Organization of Women, the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission, CMU’s College of Humanities and Social Sciences, the Village Voice… [Why is CYBERsitter the most criticized blocking software in the industry?](http://www.peacefire.org/censorware/CYBERsitter/) ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-monitor-a-teenagers-personal-computer-use/212816/67 "2003-11-16T11:27:11Z")
Well, maybe the kid’s parents might want those sites blocked . . . 😛 ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-monitor-a-teenagers-personal-computer-use/212816/68 "2003-11-16T14:21:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr2001 \* > **But I do care about putting an end to the notion that it’s appropriate or honorable to deny your kids privacy.** Which is why you promote putting the computer next to yours, or out in the open. Hmmm. Where’s the privacy there? > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Mr2001_ > **I first had an internet connection in my room around age 12. I chatted on IRC and MUDs, and downloaded a bit of porn from Usenet (back when a single JPEG took minutes to download and several seconds for my 286 to decode).** And I remember a kid back in school who brought in an old 5.25’ floppy that showed two stick figures going at it while the floppy itself made grinding noises. A three frame movie played over and over again to ‘Wacka Wacka Wacka’. In monochrome. On a PET. Things have changed alot, Mr2001. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Ilsa\_Lund_ > **If the parents are really worried about predators and the like, they need to scare the shit out of him by either having a policeman bring some case files over, or just looking them up on the internet or the Discovery Channel. Dismembered corpses are gonna be the best deterrent from meeting strangers.** The “Signal 30” approach. Got it. Excuse me while I go giggle. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-monitor-a-teenagers-personal-computer-use/212816/69 "2003-11-16T16:25:44Z")
Signal 30 didn’t make you want to wear your seatbelt? I was certainly discouraged from chatting and the like after reading a couple of articles about kidnappings and murders. **Zoe** what difference does it make? ---
**Author:** ![Ms2001](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ms2001/32/18463_2.png) [@Ms2001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms2001)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-monitor-a-teenagers-personal-computer-use/212816/70 "2003-11-17T00:14:23Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by CnoteChris_ > **Which is why you promote putting the computer next to yours, or out in the open. Hmmm. Where’s the privacy there?** I don’t “promote” it as an alternative to trusting your kid and treating him like a person. I only “promote” it as an alternative to spyware, keyloggers, and filters, for parents who’ve already decided to treat their kids like inmates. Like I said, the advantage of simply moving the computer into a public room is 1) it’s obvious what’s being monitored and when, and 2) parents can only monitor when they’re willing to put in the effort to do so, so the kid will have at least _some_ privacy, unless his parents are awake 24 hours a day. > [@](#): > > \*\*And I remember a kid back in school who brought in an old 5.25’ floppy that showed two stick figures going at it while the floppy itself made grinding noises. A three frame movie played over and over again to ‘Wacka Wacka Wacka’. > > In monochrome. On a PET. > > Things have changed alot, Mr2001.\*\* They sure have. What’s your point… that porn is somehow more harmful today? That even though looking at porn didn’t harm any of us, those Darn Kids Today™ are looking at genetically enhanced porn that’s 10 times as potent, and all this snooping is necessary to protect them from today’s super boobies? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-way-to-monitor-a-teenagers-personal-computer-use/212816.md?page=3)