# Best weapon to use against Vampires? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 12, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-weapon-to-use-against-vampires/321335 "2005-09-12T21:37:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-weapon-to-use-against-vampires/321335/41 "2005-09-14T04:26:10Z")
Smiley face stickers and Barney CDs should make them retreat in horror. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-weapon-to-use-against-vampires/321335/42 "2005-09-14T04:40:17Z")
Trance music to lure them in (Vampies _love_ trance) then whip out a [military flamethrower and toast em up good](http://www.secretarmies.com/images/day_flame.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-weapon-to-use-against-vampires/321335/43 "2005-09-14T04:56:46Z")
UV light sources, the active ingredient in sunlight that make vampires toasty. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-weapon-to-use-against-vampires/321335/44 "2005-09-14T05:09:26Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > When did silver become a weapon against vampires? I thought that was for werewolves. > [@From Dusk Til Dawn](#): > > SETH: Okay, I’ll buy that. So we got crosses covered, moving right along, what else? > FROST: Wooden stakes in the heart been workin’ pretty good so far. > > SEX MACHINE: Garlic, holy water, sunlight… I forget, does silver do anything to a vampire? > > SCOTT: That’s werewolves. > > SEX MACHINE: I know silver bullets are werewolves. But I’m pretty sure silver has some sort of effect on vampires. > > KATE: Does anybody have any silver? > > ALL: No. > > KATE: Then who cares? A great film for vamp slayers, BTW. Condoms filled with holy water, George Clooney’s big as vibro-matic stake-inator - and mirror balls 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-weapon-to-use-against-vampires/321335/45 "2005-09-14T05:16:01Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > That’s why we Nice Jewish Boys carry a BFG. ;j That reminded me of Shagal the Jewish vampire, One of his victims thrusted a crucifix in his face, and then he replied: “Oy! You got the wrong vampire!!” … He bit her anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Lazlo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lazlo/32/9678_2.png) [@Lazlo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lazlo)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-weapon-to-use-against-vampires/321335/46 "2005-09-14T05:24:12Z")
Vampire checking in here. I don’t want to give away too much info, but I’ve been here for years and y’all feel like family, so… **Silver** : More of a werewolf weapon. Some of my Hollywood buddies were the technical “experts” for Blade and were responsible for a good deal of folklore. They’re basically spreading disinformation so that their victims will attack with a useless weapon. Judging from the responses here, I can see that it’s been a successful campaign. **Holy Water / Crucifix:** With the turning of more and more athiest Vampires these days, Holy items are getting to be pretty useless. **Wooden Stake:** This is it folks, the one that is guaranteed to work. The problem you mortals have is that 99% of you won’t be strong enough to stick it through our chests and into our hearts. Your best bet here is to catch us sleeping and use a big ass hammer to pound it in. There’s also a few manufacturers on the internet that sell high velocity stake launchers. No, I’m not going to link. I’ve given you all enough info already. **Sunlight Gun:** Aside from special military applications, lights are not going to be of sufficient wattage to hurt us. And thanks to the **Bucureşti Treaty of 1967** , the US is not allowed to posess these weapons. **Decapitation:** Um… well… it’s about time for me to go… ---
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-weapon-to-use-against-vampires/321335/47 "2005-09-14T06:33:01Z")
Actually, the pair of lightsabers from the zombie thread would work on vampires too, provided that they’re in corporeal form. The lamest weapon on record is _love_, from that dreadful _Bram Stoker’s Dracula_ trainwreck of a vampire movie. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-weapon-to-use-against-vampires/321335/48 "2005-09-14T07:36:50Z")
Poisoned bait. An artfully wrecked hospital supply truck, full of a warm plastic bags of blood, laced with . . . not silver, not garlic, not holy water . . . LSD. Keeps the vamp, you know, preoccupied while you sneak up with your stake or whatever. Or don’t kill him/her, just sit back and watch the fun! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-weapon-to-use-against-vampires/321335/49 "2005-09-14T15:06:09Z")
> [@cerberus](#): > > UV light sources, the active ingredient in sunlight that make vampires toasty. Unsupported assumption. Sunlight makes vampires toasty. The mechanism of the toasting is unknown. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-weapon-to-use-against-vampires/321335/50 "2005-09-14T22:04:11Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Unsupported assumption. Sunlight makes vampires toasty. The mechanism of the toasting is unknown. You see? This is JUST why we need to start a rigorous, properly controlled testing program to firmly determine vampire strengths and weaknesses. And not with just one vampire test subject, either—the chilling and very real possibility of several different strains of vampire, possibly as different from one another as they are from humans, is something that needs to be investigated as soon as possible. And, obviously, will require an investigative program of global scope. Right now, I can provide a (mostly) empty toolshed and some typing work. But, if we pool our vampire-hunting resources, I’m sure we could put together a proper mobile lab. (Or at least, an old box van with a “no vampires” logo crudely stenciled on the side.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-weapon-to-use-against-vampires/321335.md?page=2)