# Best/worst Christmas Songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** music\ **Created:** [December 18, 2019, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016 "2019-12-18T02:31:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/41 "2019-12-19T01:04:18Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > Fun fact: hippopotamuses kill more human beings per year than any other animal in Africa. I hope not, since mosquitos kill (via malaria) close to half a million per year. That’s a lot of hippo-chomping/trampling, if true. And it would wreck your holiday season. In a restaurant the other day, I heard some weird soul/blues version of “Little Drummer Boy.” It took me close to half the song to even recognize it, although I wasn’t paying enough attention. I have no interest in hearing it again. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/42 "2019-12-19T01:09:37Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > Good > > **Santa Claus is coming to town** - Bruce Springsteen This is objectively incorrect. The song goes: \_…I’m telling you why: Santa Claus is coming to town. He’s making a list and checking it twice…_\ The observant reader will note that the line “Santa Claus is coming to town” is not repeated even once before the second verse commences, let alone twice. It follows that any recording of the song that disregards this rule is WRONG, and cannot be considered “good.” This includes the one by Bruce Springsteen. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/43 "2019-12-19T01:11:11Z")
Best secular tunes: George Michael’s “Last Christmas”, Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmas Time” (I like them; so sue me!) and of course the Waitresses’ “Christmas Wrapping.” Best religious song: “Adeste Fideles”, no matter who does it, although Pavarotti did it best. I’ve even sung the Latin version in church when everyone else was singing “O Come, All Ye Faithful” when the Latin words were right there in the hymnal. 😛 And my junior high chorus did a version of “Do You Hear What I hear” that would knock your socks off. To this day, whenever I hear it, I think of the boy who nearly broke the tympani at the end. 🆒 I used to participate in a community’s “Adopt-a-Family” program and the leaders had a CD with a song that went, “Oh, yes, it’s Christmas time…” as the main words, sung by a woman with a deep contralto voice and probably from the 1960s. I LOVED that song but never found out what it’s called or who does it. Worst songs: “Christmas Shoes”, of course, and I have never liked “Away in a Manger.” I just don’t like that song. That aforementioned project had a lot of teenagers wrapping presents on evening, so the leaders put on a hard rock Christmas CD that was TERRIBLE. It seemed to be by some generic no-name artists, and when I heard people at the next table say they were going to leave if the music wasn’t changed, I went to the leaders and told them what was going on. They weren’t crazy about it either and had only put it on because they thought the kids would like it. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/44 "2019-12-19T01:14:34Z")
> [@Marvin\_the\_Martian](#): > > I was just stuck listening to a full rendition of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”. By the Lords-a-leaping I was ready to chew my leg off to get out of that trap. So that one. _Twelve Days of Beer on the Wall…_ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/45 "2019-12-19T01:16:52Z")
> [@Paintcharge](#): > > The Elvis version of Blue Christmas is a terrible terrible piece of music. Those back-up singers… [And the Miles Davis/Bob Dorough version of “Blue Christmas” is sublime.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-uircXPp3A) ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/46 "2019-12-19T01:18:06Z")
> [@TimeWinder](#): > > I hope not, since mosquitos kill (via malaria) close to half a million per year. That’s a lot of hippo-chomping/trampling, if true. And it would wreck your holiday season. OK, OK, OK, mammals or large game. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/47 "2019-12-19T01:23:26Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > _Twelve Days of Beer on the Wall…_ Here’s Bob & Doug McKenzie. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/1DTwLqR071M/hqdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCOADEOgC8quKqQMa8AEB-AH-BIAC4AOKAgwIABABGC0gUyh_MA8=&rs=AOn4CLCsnAvICnhE5YlVS2Z96yoNIob0cg "Twelve Days of Christmas performed by Bob and Doug McKenzie") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DTwLqR071M) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/48 "2019-12-19T01:25:15Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > That aforementioned project had a lot of teenagers wrapping presents on evening, so the leaders put on a hard rock Christmas CD that was TERRIBLE. It seemed to be by some generic no-name artists, and when I heard people at the next table say they were going to leave if the music wasn’t changed, I went to the leaders and told them what was going on. They weren’t crazy about it either and had only put it on because they thought the kids would like it. Twisted Sister-[Oh Come All Ye Faithful](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmEfFlbqbbY) ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/49 "2019-12-19T01:32:31Z")
I won’t say it’s the \*best \*Christmas song, but it’s one of my personal favorites. The Seymour Swine and the Squeelers version of _Blue Christmas_: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/NlaBn4v2e1c/hqdefault.jpg "Seymour Swine And The Squeelers - Blue Christmas") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlaBn4v2e1c) ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/50 "2019-12-19T01:37:34Z")
It’s extremely slight and it isn’t a “real” Christmas song, but I love The Beatles’ _Everywhere It’s Christmas_ that leads off their 1966 fan club record. On the other hand, I haven’t liked _Silent Night_ ever since hearing Jay North sing it on the Dennis The Menace Christmas episode. Talk about sappy! ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/51 "2019-12-19T01:42:27Z")
“Jingle Cats” is only amusing the first time you hear it. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/52 "2019-12-19T02:17:55Z")
Worst = “Jingle Bells” as sung by Barbra Streisand. Pick a tempo and stick to it, Babs! “Christmas Shoes” is _not_ a song, it’s glurge set to music. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/53 "2019-12-19T02:38:00Z")
What, no loathing and contempt for “Christmas Don’t Be Late”, especially as sung(?) by the Chipmunks? ---
**Author:** ![dorvann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df705f/32.png) [@dorvann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorvann)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/54 "2019-12-19T02:58:44Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > What, no loathing and contempt for “Christmas Don’t Be Late”, especially as sung(?) by the Chipmunks? Everyone was probably so scarred by its horrendousness they probably repressed memories of its existence. Seriously repeated listening to anything sung high-pitched by The Chipmunks is my idea of HELL. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/55 "2019-12-19T03:02:51Z")
You should consider yourselves lucky that you don’t have to endure _Christmas in the Northwest_. It’s the tackiest, most saccharine glurgey mess of a Christmas song I’ve ever heard (and that INCLUDES Christmas Shoes), and yet it’s almost inescapable in this part of the country. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/56 "2019-12-19T04:27:57Z")
It’s probably only good if you’re familiar with Rob Zombie’s Dragula, but I’ll nominate Psychostick’s Zombie Claus for best. (Link in spoiler due to ladies in lingerie) [Zombie Claus - Psychostick (Rob Zombie Dragula Parody) - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJztkDaURJY) ---
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/57 "2019-12-19T05:14:23Z")
Best - [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHP0gPAZo6U). 2nd best - [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmiugX57olY). Worst - Having had to suffer though The Masked Singer, The Voice, and two PBS geezerpaloozas in the same fricking month, I’m really not in the mood for this discussion right now. Get back to me around March. (Aside: There are alt-rock Christmas songs now! I just heard one today! I thought the Baby Boomers’ black-hole level grip on this time of year would never end, and here I have an honest-to-goodness bone thrown to me. And hey, my classic rock station has played a few “nonstandard” Christmas songs I never even knew existed! Man, this is a great time to be alive. In this one particular instance.) ---
**Author:** ![carlb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carlb/32/5930_2.png) [@carlb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlb)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/58 "2019-12-19T06:27:23Z")
For mainstream/secular songs, in our household the season has not fully arrived until we’ve heard Billy Squier’s “[Christmas Is the Time to Say I Love You](https://youtu.be/QPf2snTB2wo)”. Personally, my favorite is The Kinks’ “Father Christmas,” with Weird Al’s “[Christmas at Ground Zero](https://youtu.be/t039p6xqutU)” a very close second. I think this was the first Weird Al song where I realized what an excellent musician and arranger he is; lyrics aside he absolutely nails the _sound_ of a pop Christmas song. For religious songs, “[Lo, How a Rose E’er Blooming](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7y05TrzeHo)”. I hear it most often as a choral piece, but I think it’s at its most beautiful done with a trio or quartet (as in this rendition). When sung at the proper tempo, “[Hark, the Herald Angels Sing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFjMPaOBzXc)” is jubilant, uplifting, and soul-stirring. Too often (and especially with choirs) the tempo is just too slow and it ends up sounding mournful. It is a song overbrimming with joy, and needs to be sung as such (see also, “[Joy to the World](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLT9dSt8cwg)”) ---
**Author:** ![GreenWyvern](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greenwyvern/32/2834_2.png) [@GreenWyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenWyvern)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/59 "2019-12-19T08:35:53Z")
For complete and utter weirdness, nothing can beat [I’m walking backwards for Christmas (1956)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e61uC-5s9VU) (If you don’t know _The Goon Show_, with Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan and Harry Secome you may not appreciate it!) ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016/60 "2019-12-19T16:21:12Z")
No discussion of Christmas tunes should be without this lilting, uplifting little ditty! “The Cat Carol” [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/yZ2sa3tyvkI/hqdefault.jpg "The Cat Carol (the official video)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZ2sa3tyvkI) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-worst-christmas-songs/845016.md?page=4)