# Best "Yo Mamma" Jokes
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 4, 2001, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551 "2001-06-04T18:02:58Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Happy\_Feet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Feet)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/1 "2001-06-04T18:02:58Z")
What are the best yo mamma jokes you have ver heard. I heard a great one yesterday.
Yo mamma is so easy its like throwin a hot dog down an empty hallway.
I want to hear some new and inventive ones in case of an emergency.
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/2 "2001-06-04T19:09:12Z")
Yo mama so fat, when somebody yells “Koolaid!”, she come bustin’ through the wall.
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### Author:  [@Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommy_the_Cat)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/3 "2001-06-04T19:35:17Z")
Yo mama’s so poor, I saw her kickin’ a can down the street and I asked what she’s doin…she said “movin.”
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### Author:  [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/4 "2001-06-04T19:46:11Z")
The best collections I’ve run across:
[http://prairiehome.org/activities/19970405\_jokeshow/yomamma.htm](http://prairiehome.org/activities/19970405_jokeshow/yomamma.htm)
[http://prairiehome.org/activities/19980418\_jokeshow/yomomma.html](http://prairiehome.org/activities/19980418_jokeshow/yomomma.html)
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### Author:  [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/5 "2001-06-04T19:53:40Z")
Yo momma’s so fat, her blood type’s Ragu!
Yo momma’s like peanut butter; she spreads for bread.
Yer pal,
Zappo
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### Author:  [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/6 "2001-06-04T19:53:47Z")
Yo’ mama got a glass eye wit a fish in it.
Yo’ mama got a peg leg wit a kick stand.
Yo’ mama got an afro wit a chin strap.
from this little number.
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### Author:  [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/7 "2001-06-04T20:00:16Z")
yo momma so fat, I swerved to miss her and ran out of gas.
yo momma so fat, when she goes to KFC, she orders the bucket on the roof.
yo momma so fat, she’s got other momma’s orbiting around her.
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### Author:  [@Lyllyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lyllyan)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/8 "2001-06-04T20:01:36Z")
This one was making the rounds here at the Lyllyan household a few months back…
Hey, Joe called
Joe who?
JOE MOMMA!
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### Author:  [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/9 "2001-06-04T20:37:23Z")
All right, this really isn’t a “yo mama” joke you can use in other situations, but it was the high point of my high school experience.
When I ran cross country from eighth grade to junior year (got mono senior year), yo mama jokes were the funniest things in the world to the team, especially Jeremy and Scott, who were both a year older than me and we constantly ragging on each other’s moms.
Ok–last meet of the season, my junior year, we’re driving back from some high school an hour away (it was the regionals, in case anyone cares–only three kids from my school were going on to state. I was not among them, but I did get my personal best time at that meet–22:37).
It’s fairly late at night, and we’ve been taking our times coming home. I’m in a car with Jeremy, Scott, my friend Laura, and this boy Neal who was madly in love with either Laura or me.
Laura says, “Hey–I’m hungry. Can we stop somewhere to eat?”
Jeremy, who is driving, asks, “Sure–but where can we go that’s cheap and open all right?”
“Besides your mother’s legs!!??” I yell out, not even thinking before I spoke. The response just came to me, and I had to say it.
There was a pause of about ten seconds before Scott and Jeremy collapse into laughter. I had earned their respect that day. I just saw one of them three nights ago, and he introduced me as, “Kristen, the crown princess of yo mama jokes.”
It truly was the high point of my life.
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### Author:  [@minlokwat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minlokwat)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/10 "2001-06-04T20:43:04Z")
yo momma’s so stupid she can’t pass a blood test
yo momma’s so old she got powdered milk coming out of her titties
yo momma’s so fat, I saw her go to the all-you-can-eat buffet, she pulled up a chair
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### Author:  [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/11 "2001-06-04T21:14:01Z")
I heard this one at work a while ago, one of the guys was complaining that he was so busy. An other coworker pipes up:
“Oh yeah? Not as busy as your mommas asshole when the sailors pull into port.”
That one killed me 🙂
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### Author:  [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/12 "2001-06-04T22:53:34Z")
Here’s a wonderfully complete [list](http://wallofjokes.hypermart.net/Misc/YoMama.html). My favorites:
Yo mama’s so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says “Okay.”
Yo mama’s so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big.
Yo mama’s so fat, when I have sex with her, I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in.
Yo mama’s so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
Yo mama’s so poor, she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
Yo mama’s so stupid, if you give her a penny for her thoughts, you’ll get change back.
Yo mama’s so ugly, even Rice Krispies won’t talk to her!
Yo mama’s like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
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### Author:  [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/13 "2001-06-04T23:24:35Z")
…so short, her feet show on her driver’s license picture.
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### Author:  [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/14 "2001-06-04T23:32:05Z")
Yo mamma’s so fat, she got flesh-eating bacteria and the doctor gave the bitch 13 years to live!
Yo mamma’s so fat, her belt size is equator.
Yo mamma’s so fat, when she wears her X shirt, helicopters try to land on her.
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### Author:  [@bafaa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bafaa)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/15 "2001-06-04T23:34:32Z")
Yo momma’s so fat when she sits around the house…she eats like a pig!
😃
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### Author:  [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/16 "2001-06-04T23:44:36Z")
Yo mamma’s so old, her social security number is VII.
Yo momma’s so old, her birthstone’s lava.
Yo mamma’s so skinny, her nipples touch.
And after doing a couple “yo mamma’s so fat” jokes:
And yo mamma ain’t the only fat one. Your family’s so fat I threw a rock through your window and hit every motherfucker in the house.
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### Author:  [@Chickenhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chickenhead)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/17 "2001-06-04T23:58:24Z")
Yo mama so ugly I hit the bitch with my fist.
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### Author:  [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/18 "2001-06-05T00:46:07Z")
Yo momma is so stupid, she gave your uncle a blow job so he could put something down for his unemployment.
[sub]courtesy of Ed O’Neil, aka Al Bundy, on _In Living Color_[/sub]
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### Author:  [@waxteeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waxteeth)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/19 "2001-06-05T02:34:58Z")
Yo Mamma’s so tall when she does a cartwheel she kicks God in the chest.
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### Author:  [@Fugazi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fugazi)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/20 "2001-06-05T03:02:22Z")
My favorite is from the movie “White Men Can’t Jump”, when Woody’s charactor is yelling on to the court.
“Why don’t we gather up all these bricks and build a shelter for the homeless, that way your momma will have some place to live”
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