# Best "Yo Mamma" Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 4, 2001, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551 "2001-06-04T18:02:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/21 "2001-06-05T03:38:07Z")
Yo mama teeth so rotten–when she smile, it look like dice. ---
**Author:** ![Mats\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8edcca/32.png) [@Mats\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mats_K)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/22 "2001-06-05T03:41:32Z")
Yo mamma’s so fat, I had to throw flour on her to find the wet spot. Yo mamma’s so hairy, it looks like she’s got Buckwheat in a headlock. ---
**Author:** ![Dragon\_Phoenix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Dragon\_Phoenix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragon_Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/23 "2001-06-05T03:44:13Z")
Yo mamma is so fat that when yo daddy rolls off her after sex, he is still on her… ---
**Author:** ![AndYrAStar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@AndYrAStar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndYrAStar)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/24 "2001-06-05T04:58:47Z")
> [@](#): > > Yer pal, > > Zappo hmmmmm ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/25 "2001-06-05T04:59:25Z")
My favorite is ‘Yo Mamma has so much hair under her arms she looks like she has Buckhweat in a headlock’. ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/26 "2001-06-05T07:55:03Z")
My personal favorite: Yo mamma’s so fat, when she goes into a bar, she sits down next to _ **everybody** _! ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/27 "2001-06-05T11:21:20Z")
Yo momma’s so stank, she gets sourdough yeast infections. That’s about as gross a joke as I’ve ever heard. Funny, but sick. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/28 "2001-06-05T13:46:59Z")
Your Momma’s like a dragster - she burns two rubbers at a time. Your Momma’s so old and dry, the crabs drive dune buggies. Your Momma’s so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell, “Taxi!” Your Momma’s like a door knob - everybody gets a turn. You Momma’s so fat, when she goes to a restaraunt, they don’t give her a menu, they give her an estimate. And the seating limit sign says, “250 people, or YOUR MOMMA.” When your family went to the zoo, they grabbed your Momma and said, “Thanks for bringing her back.” Your Momma is so ugly and fat, her nickname is “DAMN!” BUT SERIOUSLY FOLKS, your Momma’s face is great…for me to POOP ON!!! ---
**Author:** ![Zanshin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e274bd/32.png) [@Zanshin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zanshin)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/29 "2001-06-05T14:06:47Z")
My apologies for any duplication of jokes… Yo mama’s so fat, when she hauls ass she has to make two trips. Yo mama’s so fat, when she dances she makes the band skip. Yo mama’s so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side. Yo mama’s so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live. Yo mama’s so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin. Yo mama’s so fat, her ass has its own congressman. Yo mama’s so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard. Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts. Yo mama’s so fat, her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph. Yo mama’s so fat, her driver’s license says “Picture continued on other side.” Yo mama’s so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs. Yo mama’s so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through. Yo mama’s so fat, “Place Your Ad Here” is printed on each of her butt cheeks. Yo mama’s so fat, instead of Levi’s 501 jeans she wears Levi’s 1002s. Yo mama’s so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: “Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama” Yo mama’s so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton. Yo mama’s so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down. Yo mama’s so fat, when your father mounts her his ears pop. Yo mama’s so fat, she’s not allowed to wear a Malcolm X shirt because helicopters keep trying to land on her. Yo mama’s so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth. Yo mama’s so fat, she’s got smaller fat women orbiting around her. Yo mama’s so fat, when I yell “Kool-Aid,” she comes crashing through the wall. Yo mama’s so fat, she could sell shade. Yo mama’s so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her. Yo mama’s so fat, people jog around her for exercise. Yo mama’s so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost Yo mama’s so fat, she gets runs in her jeans. Yo mama’s so fat, her blood type is Ragu. Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t get a menu, she gets an estimate. Yo mama’s so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she’d have to take his word for it! Yo mama’s so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang. Yo mama’s so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome-back party. Yo mama’s so fat, her nickname is “DAMN!” Yo mama’s so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway. Yo mama’s so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 100 pounds. Yo mama’s so fat, she can’t even jump to a conclusion. Yo mama’s so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. Yo mama’s so fat, her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters. Yo mama’s so fat, when God said “Let there be light” he told her to move her fat ass out of the way. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/30 "2001-06-05T14:23:17Z")
Yo’ Momma’s so tight-assed cheap, she can stick a penny ‘tween her cheeks an’ squeeze a booger outta Lincoln’s nose! ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/31 "2001-06-05T14:45:07Z")
Yo momma’s so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the man at the gate said: “Thanks for bringer her back home!” Yo momma’s so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped her face. Yo momma’s butt is so big, she reaches for her wallet like this: (Reach over your shoulder like you’re scratching your back) And finally my favorite: Tell yo momma to stop wearing different colored lipstick, my dick looks like a rainbow! ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/32 "2001-06-05T16:18:01Z")
Yo momma so fat, she think gravy’s a beverage. Yo momma so fat, when yo daddy fuck her he gotta roll her in flour and look for the wet spot. Yo momma so old she fart dust. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/33 "2001-06-05T21:22:49Z")
Your mommas so dirty she went to the beach and left a wring ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Isabella](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Queen\_Isabella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Isabella)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/34 "2001-06-05T23:25:48Z")
Yo momma so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits _around_ the house. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/35 "2001-06-06T00:24:17Z")
If ugly was bricks, yo momma’d have her own projects. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/36 "2001-06-06T03:00:07Z")
Yo mamma so fat, she got smaller fat women orbiting around her. ---
**Author:** ![monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monster)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/37 "2001-06-06T16:43:29Z")
Yo mama’s so big, when she backs up, she beeps. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/38 "2001-06-06T20:33:21Z")
Man, why is everybody dissin’ mommas today. Let’s just get off of mothers, OK? Just get off of mothers… I just got off of yours. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/39 "2001-06-06T21:38:06Z")
“the crabs drive dune buggies.” DAMN!!! Yo mamma so fat, ugly, _AND_ stupid, whenever someone says “Yo mamma”, everybody else think of _her_. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Isabella](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Queen\_Isabella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Isabella)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2001, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-yo-mamma-jokes/67551/40 "2001-06-07T03:10:09Z")
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