# Betrayed by the women in my life (A story of love and vomit) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 2, 2000, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/betrayed-by-the-women-in-my-life-a-story-of-love-and-vomit/43684 "2000-12-02T04:19:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2000, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/betrayed-by-the-women-in-my-life-a-story-of-love-and-vomit/43684/21 "2000-12-02T19:33:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > **"OOOOOWWWWWWAAAAAAEEEEEEKKKKKKKKCCCCCHHH!" I said to the wastebasket** Oh Scylla! Man… I hadn’t really laughed in a LONNNNG time, that story was just TOO funny however. The above line about made me cry from laughing. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/betrayed-by-the-women-in-my-life-a-story-of-love-and-vomit/43684/22 "2000-12-04T02:06:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Asmodean \* > \*\*Which is why its called a stomach virus, not flu or poisoning:) \*\* Popular vernacular, creative license, don’t you know? ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/betrayed-by-the-women-in-my-life-a-story-of-love-and-vomit/43684/23 "2000-12-04T02:26:48Z")
Scylla, dude, you SLAY me. Man, that was funny 😃 To share in your misery, allow me to disclose the following anecdote, from [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=13250): > [@](#): > > _BARF_ > > You guys are probably WAY sicker than me, but… > > You know, when you’re sick and throwing up all over the place (it’s good when you have diarrhea also, you really get to appreciate these small Turkish Hotel Bathrooms that enable you to shit on the toilet and hurl in the fountain at the same time), and you’re throwing up so hard the vomit gets up in the back of your nose ? You then have to _SNORT_ the fucking stuff out of there again, into your mouth, which subsequently makes you barf all over again, causing the very same problem of a nose full of vomit, etc etc ad infinitum 🙂 > > Am I in for the Gross Award yet or should I add some more gory details ? Hardly as eloquent as yours, but certainly in the same _genre_. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/betrayed-by-the-women-in-my-life-a-story-of-love-and-vomit/43684/24 "2000-12-04T02:38:46Z")
I laughed so hard various parts of me now hurt. I’m still panting. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/betrayed-by-the-women-in-my-life-a-story-of-love-and-vomit/43684/25 "2000-12-04T05:28:15Z")
**Scylla** , I say this as a recent flu-sufferer, a relative newbie in board terms and as a fellow human being…that was the damned _funniest_ thing I’ve read since some of Wally’s choicer offerings. Dagnabit, man, you caught the _essence_ of wretched illness, right down to the sound effects (_very_ hard to convey in print\*) not to mention the more ridiculous aspects of Death By Gastro-Intestinal Revolt. –\>snorks, honks, weeps with laughter, hoots, guffaws\<– Now doncha worry. The wimmins in yer life aren’t out ta get ya. --\>howls, clutches ribs, falls on floor in hysterics\<–Just clean up and cuddle in your Chair Of Power. –\>mops eyes\<– At least you were drinking OJ and not sugar-free raspberry drink. Honestly. Gives new insight into “technicolor illness”. Still snickering, Veb ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/betrayed-by-the-women-in-my-life-a-story-of-love-and-vomit/43684/26 "2000-12-04T16:01:46Z")
Hey, come on folks, when there is food poisoning in the family it’s cause they share a common table, dish rags or food source. However, if afterwards one gets sniffy, it may very well be a respiratory virus. But you can have food poisoning, the cold & a flu all at the same time. Gross. I’d teach ya all how not to get sick; but I’ll do that in another column. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/betrayed-by-the-women-in-my-life-a-story-of-love-and-vomit/43684/27 "2000-12-04T18:15:02Z")
I thought I had a cold, but now I’m getting chills and horrid body aches, something I associate with the flu. It’s miserable (so am I, waaaaaah!), but reading Scylla’s story I laughed so hard I literally cried. Thanks for brightening a crappy Monday morning. Did I mention that this is not a good week for me to be sick? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/betrayed-by-the-women-in-my-life-a-story-of-love-and-vomit/43684/28 "2000-12-05T00:03:56Z")
Veb: I know what you mean about the Rasberry drink. As a child I ate Strawberry Jello, drank milk, and got sick. My mother thought I was throwing up blood. She rushed me straight to the hospital going “Don’t die! Don’t Die!” Meanwhile I’m saying “Mommmmmmmmm? Can we stop at Toys R Us? I wanna new Star Wars Action Figure.” ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/betrayed-by-the-women-in-my-life-a-story-of-love-and-vomit/43684/29 "2000-12-05T00:33:58Z")
Scylla, Others have given some quite nice suggestions for daughter, but nobody has aproached the topic of your wife. I’d like to throw in a suggestion. Get yourself a nice, loud battery powered siren. You need the kind with a wire running to a switch to turn it on. If you cut the switch off, than usually the siren will go off when you cross the wires. Now, find a piece of rubber shaped something like this—. That would be an end on view. In each side of the rubber, embed the wires of the cord so they are close but not touching- a soldering iron works for this. Place the siren behind the john, and the little rubber piece under one of the little knobs that the toilet seat rests on. The idea here is that when wife sits down, her weight will push the 2 wires together, causing the siren to go off. Instant fun! The louder the siren, the better the scare. I did this to my mom when I was about 15. It was a hoot! ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/betrayed-by-the-women-in-my-life-a-story-of-love-and-vomit/43684/30 "2000-12-08T03:54:11Z")
Well, admittedly, I’m not as good at schemeing as a large number of the other Dopers here, but you made me laugh too hard to pass this up. For the daughter, all of the above suggestions are wonderful. Another idea is to leave her little notes in her lunch, saying things like “Daddy loves you” and whatnot. Every day. Until she’s 18. When her friends come, make sure you tell as many funny stories about her childhood (trust me, you’ll have them), as you can, as well as some that you make up. Then, offer everybody there a round of juiceboxes, and start asking them akward questions. As for your wife, I’ve got two words for you: _cold feet._ Chill em to a nice, absolute-zero-like temperature, then put them right up against hers for every night until she apologizes, or goes insane. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2000, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/betrayed-by-the-women-in-my-life-a-story-of-love-and-vomit/43684/31 "2000-12-10T00:48:18Z")
I did the cold feet thing yesterday. I went out to let the dog in bare feet before I went to bed. I went upstairs, and started to give the Mrs. a backrub. She groand in sleepy pleasure and then I leaned back and put my cold feet right on her back. Needless to say, I din’t get a backrub (or anything else) last night. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/betrayed-by-the-women-in-my-life-a-story-of-love-and-vomit/43684.md?page=1)