# Better blowjobs and you (and vice-versa) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 12, 2011, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340 "2011-01-12T14:02:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/21 "2011-01-12T21:19:18Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > I don’t see a crime in taking a Tylenol either the first few times to acclimate yourself to it. “Tylenol” brought back fond memories of “Dramamines” from Doug Kenney’s 1973 National Lampoon story [First Blowjob](http://www.popeye-x.com/antippx1/000002f7.htm) > [@](#): > > “Gee,” exclaimed Jeff as he began to lash out viciously at her unprotected body, “I’ve been wanting to try this ever since I first heard Negro music!” ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/22 "2011-01-12T21:38:09Z")
I think the most important thing is for the giver to just plain enjoy being in that area. Nothing is going to replace enthusiasm. Give them a few gentle pointers (lick along the sides, pull the balls a little, don’t forget the taint, oh yeah that’s it) and you’re golden. ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/23 "2011-01-12T21:43:35Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > 1. If you have TMJ or jaw pain, take an NSAID beforehand. No excuses. I have TMJ. No joke, we all have TMJ - it’s the name of the joint. Those of us who have TMD or TMJD frequently would rather keep eating food than keep sucking dick. YMOV. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/24 "2011-01-12T21:51:39Z")
I disagree that enthusiasm is key, actually, or at the top of the list. I’m not enthusiastic, like “yippee! blow jobs!” or all smiles, like I’m sure some girls are. You shouldn’t need to get jazzed up about the event; if the idea of making your partner happy isn’t on your “to do” list, you should probably be in therapy or break up. I actually am quite focused while doing it; you have to be to do it correctly. I’m doing it for the moans, groans, and orgasm and resulting happiness from my partner. I also think “just be enthusiastic” is a short term plan; if you’re just not _good_ at it and don’t try and develop technique, the enthusiasm will quickly give way to the realization you don’t have a damn clue what you’re doing and aren’t enjoying yourself. Worse, he’s just humoring you and it’s not very good for him. Enthusiasm on its own will never bring much enjoyment and will never bring an orgasm (not that orgasms are the only or ideal component, but it’s a critical part of a full blow-job). I should also add that manscaping is should be required beforehand, especially on the shaft itself. If you’ve got enough hair down there to make a cancer patient’s head whole again, it’s time you used your google-fu and learned how to shave the area. ETA: > [@stretch](#): > > No joke, we all have TMJ - it’s the name of the joint. Those of us who have TMD or TMJD frequently would rather keep eating food than keep sucking dick. YMOV. Sorry but my oral surgeon calls it TMJ colloquially. Sorry yours is so bad, but you’d think half the female population has TMJ/D for all the excuses I’ve heard. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/25 "2011-01-12T21:53:05Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > Yes, but I don’t recommend whacking her on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper if she does it wrong. Well, not with a newspaper, no. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/26 "2011-01-12T21:55:54Z")
Every time I read the thread title, I think it should say: **Better Blowjobs through Science!™** ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/27 "2011-01-12T22:00:55Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > 1. For the actual BJ: Wet your lips, then wrap your lips around your teeth. _ **Never** _ let your teeth come in contact with his dick\*. Good post, but I’ll take minor issue with this point. This isn’t a bad thing to tell newbs to do, but with practice you don’t have to do the “wrap your lips around your teeth” thing. I’ve found that can actually be counter-productive because you’re worrying too much about lip placement and less about other stuff you should be worrying about. If you close your lips around the shaft while still keeping your mouth wide open (i.e. your teeth far apart) you can maintain good pressure and suction without unwanted tooth action. That’s what I heard, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/28 "2011-01-12T22:19:35Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > Sorry but my oral surgeon calls it TMJ colloquially. Sorry yours is so bad, but you’d think half the female population has TMJ/D for all the excuses I’ve heard. Well, some of us are snippy about the names of the stuff we have. I can give good head but rarely to completion. Of course, that may be because I always get the guy who can’t/won’t come from a bj… ---
**Author:** ![fifty-six](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@fifty-six](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fifty-six)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/29 "2011-01-12T22:20:27Z")
Just a side note. I have had blowjobs from roughly the same amount of men as women. I find women are better at it. The whole guys are better because they have one is false IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/30 "2011-01-12T22:24:33Z")
We need pictures! Clear step by step pictures to show how it’s done. If only there was a website or two that posted such things. It’s a shame that the SDMB doesn’t allow pictures. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/31 "2011-01-12T22:26:48Z")
Don’t worry, it’s not like I’ll be totally remembering this thread and the OP should there ever be a Japan Doper meetup. Maybe I’ll just ask for an update, or something.😃 ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/32 "2011-01-12T22:29:13Z")
> [@fifty-six](#): > > Just a side note. I have had blowjobs from roughly the same amount of men as women. I find women are better at it. The whole guys are better because they have one is false IMHO. This is an interesting data point, and I’d like to thank you for sharing it. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2011, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/33 "2011-01-12T22:34:20Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Good post, but I’ll take minor issue with this point. This isn’t a bad thing to tell newbs to do, but with practice you don’t have to do the “wrap your lips around your teeth” thing. I’ve found that can actually be counter-productive because you’re worrying too much about lip placement and less about other stuff you should be worrying about. If you close your lips around the shaft while still keeping your mouth wide open (i.e. your teeth far apart) you can maintain good pressure and suction without unwanted tooth action. Agreed; I certainly don’t wrap my lips all the time anymore. But it’s a very good newbie technique. I didn’t wanna inundate the teeming millions, but you’re absolutely right. Ya gotta have excellent jaw-widening abilities too. ONE MORE THING! **Breathe through your nose!** If you try giving a blowjob with bad allergies, vasomotor rhinitis or a cold, you’re going to end up choking yourself. ETA: Not that I speak from experience or anything… ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2011, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/34 "2011-01-13T03:42:00Z")
[“I’m going to make it so dry for you…”](http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1764532) ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2011, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/35 "2011-01-13T04:25:58Z")
Just fucking ask for feedback until you know what your partner likes (not directed at you OP, but to everyone who wants to get better at oral). That’s all it takes to turn poor or mediocre head (for any gender) into spectacular. It is all about being proactive and enthusiastic and being willing to do whatever your partner wants you to, and making sure that they are aware of this. Realize that a lot of people (me included) can be VERY VERY SHY when it comes to telling a new partner, “Don’t do that, I don’t like it.” But if you ask me “Do you like this?” I feel ok saying no. Don’t get discouraged! Ask for suggestions! Every single person is different! There is no magical technique that will work on every man or woman. It is all about attitude. However, I have noticed that there are little things you can do that are out of the ordinary and generally well-received and appreciated, like stroking the inner thighs/crease area with your hands, and spending more than a few cursory seconds on foreplay. This may apply more to receiving women than receiving men though, since men have an on button and you can easily tell when it’s been pressed–women are slower to heat up if starting from cold. Some guys really like to be teased and others get really fucking pissed about it (which I think correlates to whether they have submissive or dominant tendencies, respectively). Now, asking questions constantly is not good either. This would give the impression of a poor memory and insecurity (fishing for compliments). But it’s something that, if done early in even a short-term relationship, has a really positive effect IME. My biggest complaint re: bad oral is stopping too soon. 5-10 minutes is simply not enough. Work out those muscles if necessary to get up your endurance. My other biggest complaint is long fingernails. TRIM THAT SHIT! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2011, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/36 "2011-01-13T04:40:11Z")
Must … not … mention … Bangkok’s … blowjob … bars. Must … not … mention … Bangkok’s … blowjob … bars. Must … not … say … to … google … “Lolitas Bangkok” (A nationwide chain. Really.) ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2011, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/37 "2011-01-13T04:49:38Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > I disagree that enthusiasm is key, actually, or at the top of the list. I’m not enthusiastic, like “yippee! blow jobs!” or all smiles, like I’m sure some girls are. You shouldn’t need to get jazzed up about the event; if the idea of making your partner happy isn’t on your “to do” list, you should probably be in therapy or break up. This doesn’t make sense to me. NOT being enthusiastic means that you don’t think it’s important to make your partner happy? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2011, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/38 "2011-01-13T05:42:07Z")
Another vote for **Illuminatiprimus** having summed most of it up. Unless you’re in physical pain, positive reinforcement is the way to go. Even during pillow talk, you are going to get a lot further saying ‘Wow, I loved it when you did that one thing…’ than a harsh critique which, as s/he said, is based on your own personal tastes which may not have been known to your partner prior to having sex. The only exception I can see to the ‘Don;t say anything if you can’t say anything nice’ rule is when silence doesn’t mean boredom or apathy but that you’re one of those people who needs to concentrate quite hard or be in perfect silence to orgasm. Then it’s just common courtesy to let your partner know this. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2011, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/39 "2011-01-13T09:27:16Z")
> [@fifty-six](#): > > Just a side note. I have had blowjobs from roughly the same amount of men as women. I find women are better at it. The whole guys are better because they have one is false IMHO. Really? Huh, I don’t think I ever would have assumed that myself. Could… could you start a thread? I want to know more. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2011, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340/40 "2011-01-13T10:30:29Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Must … not … mention … Bangkok’s … blowjob … bars. Must … not … mention … Bangkok’s … blowjob … bars. Must … not … say … to … google … “Lolitas Bangkok” (A nationwide chain. Really.) Five hundred years from now Starbucks will have taken over this franchise. :o I’m still having trouble visualizing all this instruction. Are there pictorials, or maybe an instructional video somewhere? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/better-blowjobs-and-you-and-vice-versa/567340.md?page=3)