# Beware the mini-Rants of March (4th or otherwise) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 1, 2012, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431 "2012-03-01T08:33:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/1 "2012-03-01T08:33:32Z")
What can I say, I just like taking advantage of being ahead of most of you guys. Is it compulsory to start with a minirant? The closest thing I have is that apparently the short-distance rail system doesn’t understand February 29. I have a 30-day pass and the machine sent me to be Checked By A Human Being; they mentioned it’s been happening to other people. We decided it’s the pocket edition of Y2K effect. The Human Checkers were cogitating on whether it will be solved Soon or they’ll be having to check 30-day passes until March 29. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/2 "2012-03-01T13:34:41Z")
Here’s something else to rant at **Nava** : The Ides of March are on the 15th, not the 4th. (Unless the 4th signifies something else…?) ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/3 "2012-03-01T14:02:06Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > The Human Checkers were cogitating on whether it will be solved Soon or they’ll be having to check 30-day passes until March 29. Surely you mean Human Chess, seeing as how they’re Pawns… Have you tried asking the Bishop? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/4 "2012-03-01T14:05:18Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Here’s something else to rant at **Nava** : The Ides of March are on the 15th, not the 4th. (Unless the 4th signifies something else…?) That the rants march forth. And back. And sideways. And drive us up walls… **Panda** , we can’t, because Spanish armies don’t have _alfiles_ any more. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/5 "2012-03-01T14:12:22Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Here’s something else to rant at **Nava** : The Ides of March are on the 15th, not the 4th. (Unless the 4th signifies something else…?) My mini-rant is thread titles that I don’t understand. Especially if I have to look at them for a whole month. I’d vote to just shorten the title to: _ **Beware the Mini-Rants of March** _ It’s short, still clever, and easy to dance to. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/6 "2012-03-01T14:28:46Z")
“I’ll give it an 8.5, Dick.” ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/7 "2012-03-01T16:18:48Z")
Rant for the day. I got laser eye surgery two weeks ago (which was awesome and I highly recommend). I woke up this morning with the feeling that something was in my eye. The problem: if I rubbed my eye in my sleep I may have displaced the flap and that could be causing the sensation. This would be very bad. I spent ten minutes rinsing and searching for the ‘thing in my eye’ and even had my husband come and lend his eyes to looking for the foreign object. Since I was already late for work, I got in the car and drove there (making my eyes water the whole time in the hope that it really was still something in my eye). When I get there, I flip down the mirror in my car because now I can _see_ something in there. Look, blink. See something strange. Look, blink, water. Defnitely something there. Look, look, grab. GOT IT! It was a white cat hair that had wrapped around one of my eyelashes and was hanging in my eye. It was so thin it had rendered itself nearly invisible. So here I am at work with no makeup on and I was late because of a frickin cat hair! ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/8 "2012-03-01T16:22:20Z")
Okay, I just won a second free coffee from Tim Hortons with the coffee I just got with a free coffee win earlier in the week. That makes up for it. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/9 "2012-03-01T17:09:36Z")
I work in a hospital. For months, I’ve been pushing elevator buttons with a knuckle rather than a finger. Sometimes I even do a fist-bump-style push. Occasionally I get odd looks for this, but I figure that due to how they’re normally used, my knuckles are less likely to transmit infectious agents both to me and from me, compared to fingers. (I also practice other good sanitation practices, including frequent hand washing and use of alcohol sanitizer.) Last week had just one example of why I do this. A little girl came out of a nearby pediatric clinic suite with her mom. The mom reminded the girl to put her mask on; said girl was wearing the “surgical” mask over her chin only. The girl pulled up the mask so it covered her mouth, but not nose. Then the girl was allowed to push both the elevator call button and the button for the floor. :smack: We’ve had serious outbreaks of whooping cough here in the Chicago area recently, even new ones within the last couple of weeks. Per the city’s health department, reported cases of influenza have risen for 5 weeks straight as of late February. Even if the little girl didn’t have either of those potentially very serious illnesses, her (and other people’s) germ-spreading could be dangerous to immune-compromised patients, or to infants too young to be vaccinated yet. The elevator they took happens to be one of the major elevators in our complex, and is one of the main ways to get to our cancer care center. Our housekeeping department really does a great job of cleaning the facility, but they just can’t keep up with the sheer flow of patients, visitors, and employees in this respect. Years ago, I broke my wrist, and I wore a mask to my last Orthopedics appointment because I had developed a bad cold. I was thanked sincerely in such a fashion that made me expect that most patients probably aren’t proactive about it (even though we have mask stations and signs all over), and my experience in dealing with patients in my own department confirms that. Hospitals and clinics are germ-filled places, so please be careful about how you might transmit your own germs and how you might pick up other people’s germs as well. You might shrug off a particular illness. The next person who touches an elevator button that you touched a few minutes after sneezing into your hand, may not. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/10 "2012-03-01T17:25:40Z")
If I have to hear my office partner say “shooken” instead of “shaken” one more time this week, I’m going to start throwing things. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/11 "2012-03-01T17:27:29Z")
Aargh, parents are terrible with this sort of thing. Kids coughing everywhere, sometimes into their hands, and then they’re allowed to touch everything. “Go ahead, press the buttons, dear!” NO. Just no. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/12 "2012-03-01T18:33:26Z")
I give up. What was simple allergy testing for TheKid has turned into such a clusterfuck. At least we now know why she breaks out in hives at the drop of a hat - she’s just weird that way. Getting a cold means she _will_ break out. At the allergists office, they drew blood to test for various other possible causes, and discovered she has a really low white blood cell count and her hemoglobin levels are low. Off to the doctor today, discussed iron supplements. No problem, unless she has kidney disease like her mother and had problems processing iron. Well, let’s test for _that_, too! _sigh_ Fine. It would be good for her to know if she has PKD, as she is now the age where it starts presenting itself. Referral for sonogram. Too bad my insurance only pays for part, but I can deal. Until we left the doctor’s office and found out the brakes in my car decided they wanted to crap out. Made it home. Now I have to pay for a tow, pay to repair, pay for a rental. And I am broker than broke. Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/13 "2012-03-01T18:46:02Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > If I have to hear my office partner say “shooken” instead of “shaken” one more time this week, I’m going to start throwing things. I love this. In _Nothing Sacred_, Fredric March asks Vermont shopkeeper Margaret Hamilton for directions, and she charges him 50¢, saying “Well, you tooken up my time.” ---
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/14 "2012-03-01T19:04:23Z")
> [@Februbitchy Rantuary - February's Mini-Rants Thread!](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/februbitchy-rantuary-februarys-mini-rants-thread/611429/439): > > [Oh just shup the fuck up already you useless, spoiled, arrogant, obnoxious, overpaid, underworked, worthless shitheads.](http://finance.yahoo.com/news/bonus-withdrawal-puts-bankers-malaise-050100338.html) Go volunteer on a children’s cancer ward and STFU. I seriously hope every single asshole in this article complaining about his insanely overinflated salary gets laid off and winds up homeless. Copied from the February Mini Rants thread just so I can quote > [@](#): > > “I feel stuck,” Schiff said. “The New York that I wanted to have is still just beyond my reach.” and say _the New York he wanted to have_? He thinks he is entitled to his own New York instead of having to share with everyone else? Well has he got a lesson to learn, you can’t even count on getting the New York (or life) you **deserve** let alone the one you want. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/15 "2012-03-01T21:53:36Z")
What’s been stolen from me today? Why, how about four rolls of toilet paper plus most of the roll that was on the holder! Now the toilet paper will live in my closet. Asshole, look. Your wife just bought a fucking twelve-pack for your bathroom when she saw it on sale. I know this because I saw her bring it in and made a comment. And you’re swiping my toilet paper now? Karma is a bitch and you’re building up a cruise-ship load that’s going to crash on you at the worst possible moment.\* \*Not just because of the toilet paper and food he’s swiped and is suddenly too po’ to replace. Also because of his know-it-all attitude and the way he treated my boyfriend. Wanna know what Shredder Guy looked like at 25? I’m rooming with him. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/16 "2012-03-01T21:57:57Z")
Doctor can you please call me back so I don’t have to go the ER? My heart seems to be beating too fast when I lie down. I hate my body. I am on meds for high blood pressure. The doctor just doubled the dose of one of them so I’m sure that’s the cause. I’m sorta scared it’s something more serious right now. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/17 "2012-03-01T22:04:12Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Here’s something else to rant at **Nava** : The Ides of March are on the 15th, not the 4th. (Unless the 4th signifies something else…?) It made me think of fellow Doper **OlivesMarch4th**. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/18 "2012-03-01T22:21:59Z")
> [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](#): > > Copied from the February Mini Rants thread just so I can quote > > and say _the New York he wanted to have_? He thinks he is entitled to his own New York instead of having to share with everyone else? Well has he got a lesson to learn, you can’t even count on getting the New York (or life) you **deserve** let alone the one you want. Call it Winklevii syndrome. When ludicrously overprivileged people whine they don’t have even more. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/19 "2012-03-01T23:05:12Z")
> [@perfectparanoia](#): > > It was a white cat hair that had wrapped around one of my eyelashes and was hanging in my eye. It was so thin it had rendered itself nearly invisible. This happens to me often enough that my husband thinks I should wear goggles around the house. The thick cat hairs stab me in the foot, and the wispy ones blind me. One of these days, I will shave the cats. All my problems are lame first-world problems and I should really stick to looking at the bright side, but I’m really upset that I never get to see my husband. I was working evenings for years and that suited him fine because he liked to work later hours to skip the beltway traffic, so when I got a shot at a great day-shift job, I really hesitated because it would mean he would need to get home earlier or we’d never get any time together. He insisted I take the day job because it would make me happier (he was right), and that he would adapt. Well, we’re three months into the new job and he’s still not getting home till 9pm most nights because there’s so much going on at work. That doesn’t seem like much adaptation, really. I’m home by 5 most days, so my evenings are long and boring, and I need to be in bed by 11 because I get up so early, so when he gets home we have a late dinner together, watch a smidge of TV, and then I’m yawning and fighting sleep and trying to stay up late to get more time with him. This makes me grumpy. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2012, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/20 "2012-03-01T23:17:28Z")
Forgot: a big “fuck you” to the duo who spilled a cup of coffee in our smaller waiting room, over top a nice wooden table and our large-print magazine selection, sort of wiped it up, then hauled ass out of there without saying a word. Now the table has white stains, and I think I managed to salvage most of the magazines. You could have asked for help so we could have minimized the amount of soaking into wood and upholstery that it did. I went in and checked about 5 minutes after you left, as the little gasp I heard was still rattling around my brain. Because really, if I’d gotten a better look at you two, maybe we could identify you and then call to let you know that one of you dropped a well-used calendar/organizer that has no identifying info in it. You were probably the person accompanying the patient and not the patient herself, as there’s no appointment for our doctors in there, so that’s no help. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431.md?page=2)