# Beware the mini-Rants of March (4th or otherwise)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [March 1, 2012, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431 "2012-03-01T08:33:32Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/81 "2012-03-07T04:01:08Z")

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Is there a single Cadillac Escalade driver out there who is not a stupid asshole?

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/82 "2012-03-07T04:21:15Z")

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> [@chizzuk](#):
>
> Is there a single Cadillac Escalade driver out there who is not a stupid asshole?

Nope. It’s right on the application for financing for one - “Are you a stupid asshole?”

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**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/83 "2012-03-07T06:27:50Z")

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> [@kaylasdad99](#):
>
> Condolences, **curlcoat**.

Thanks. We tried to cram as much fun for him as possible and I guess it’s a good thing he was able to do what he liked right to the end, but dammit I thought I’d get more warning. Sigh.

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**Author:** ![Dunkelheit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dunkelheit/32/248_2.png) [@Dunkelheit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunkelheit)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/84 "2012-03-07T11:10:28Z")

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> [@kaylasdad99](#):
>
> Oh, I’m familiar with the ways of my mother tongue. But I refuse to condone them, and I’m comfortable with repudiating the most egregious ones, as the opportunities present themselves.
> 
> Come around some day, and I’ll buy you a beer and persuade you to start referring to a certain Indiana university as **No** -tra **Dahm**. I might even buy you a hot dog at Das Wienerschnitzel.

And watch a game played by the Boston Keltics? 😉

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**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/85 "2012-03-07T12:48:24Z")

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I found out today that I have broken about a quarter of a tooth off. Back molar- naturally my tongue cant stop going there. I have managed to get to the dentist tomorrow.

As with most of us heros here I hate the dentist. And I want to know where the quarter tooth went!

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**Author:** ![cblackhand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecc23a/32.png) [@cblackhand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cblackhand)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/86 "2012-03-07T14:42:21Z")

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Damn spring weather. We were over 70 degrees yesterday and today we have freezing rain and 1-3" of snow. This psychotic weather is making people crazy.

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**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/87 "2012-03-07T14:49:07Z")

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> [@Jeneva](#):
>
> And watch a game played by the Boston Keltics? 😉

No, I don’t care for basketball…

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**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/88 "2012-03-07T15:50:26Z")

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Shut up shut up shut UP don’t you realize you’re the only department in a three department workroom that is ALWAYS TALKING NONSTOP oh holy god I do not give a shit that you like paper towels but not paper napkins!

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**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/89 "2012-03-07T16:19:02Z")

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> [@Cicero](#):
>
> I found out today that I have broken about a quarter of a tooth off. Back molar- naturally my tongue cant stop going there. I have managed to get to the dentist tomorrow.
> 
> As with most of us heros here I hate the dentist. And I want to know where the quarter tooth went!

I bet I do - I swallowed a baby tooth when I was little. Went to the teacher all little-kid-concerned and was laughingly informed that it’ll come out the other end. So, I’m sure yours will, too.

Try not to bite yourself in the ass.

- sneaks up on **Zsofia’s** co-workers, smacks them all on the back of the head \*

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**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/90 "2012-03-07T16:42:44Z")

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I pit the Red Cross telemarketers.

Years ago, I made the mistake of letting them know I have O- blood. Since then, I have been hunted like The Fugitive. I have donated gallons of whole blood and have done Apheresis a dozen times, till their inept Phlebotomists started causing me too much pain and then my veins started to collapse when donating. Since then, I have been reluctant to donate.

but these sumbitches keep calling. For a while I was polite. “I will call you”. Then a little curt “Please take me off your call list”, Now, after 40 or 50 calls, I am yelling at them.

Last night, they call again. I pick up and just say ‘take me off your list’ and hang up. the sumbitch calls back!! I ask to speak with his supervisor. He makes like he is trying to get his supervisor, then tells me it would better if he got some info and had the super call me back, because there was only one supervisor on the floor…I stop him and say I do not want a call back. I want them to stop calling me. If they call back then they are still calling me!

Then the giant prick has the balls to tell me I might get a little further with them _ **if I wasn’t so rude.** _

I started screaming at him until my voice was raw. (I had a chest cold, so it wasn’t that long)

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**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/91 "2012-03-07T17:38:38Z")

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> [@purplehorseshoe](#):
>
> I bet I do - I swallowed a baby tooth when I was little. Went to the teacher all little-kid-concerned and was laughingly informed that it’ll come out the other end. So, I’m sure yours will, too.

Bet you had to PAY the Tooth Fairy to take that one…

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**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/92 "2012-03-07T17:44:34Z")

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I realize there’s an [official thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=644363) over in the **Game Room** , but I just want to say:

Goddammit! I don’t want Payton to leave!!! I understand the business reasons, but this fucking sucks!!! I’m still a Colts fan, I’ll always be a Colts fan, no matter who is QB, but goddammit, this just sucks!!!

OK, now I’ve gotten that out of my system, I return you to your regularly scheduled mini-rants thread.

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**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/93 "2012-03-07T18:05:10Z")

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> [@kaylasdad99](#):
>
> Bet you had to PAY the Tooth Fairy to take that one…

When my son was little he swallowed a baby tooth and was DISTRAUGHT at the thought that he couldn’t put it under the pillow. I had to send the tooth fairy an e-mail (which Chef Jr. dictated) explaining the situation and asking if it would be possible for her to retrieve the tooth from his stomach.

She replied and told him not to worry, that this sort of thing happens all the time and she would be able to get it.

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**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/94 "2012-03-07T19:30:27Z")

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> [@spooje](#):
>
> I pit the Red Cross telemarketers.
> 
> Years ago, I made the mistake of letting them know I have O- blood. Since then, I have been hunted like The Fugitive. I have donated gallons of whole blood and have done Apheresis a dozen times, till their inept Phlebotomists started causing me too much pain and then my veins started to collapse when donating. Since then, I have been reluctant to donate.
> 
> but these sumbitches keep calling. For a while I was polite. “I will call you”. Then a little curt “Please take me off your call list”, Now, after 40 or 50 calls, I am yelling at them.
> 
> Last night, they call again. I pick up and just say ‘take me off your list’ and hang up. the sumbitch calls back!! I ask to speak with his supervisor. He makes like he is trying to get his supervisor, then tells me it would better if he got some info and had the super call me back, because there was only one supervisor on the floor..I stop him and say I do not want a call back. I want them to stop calling me. If they call back then they are still calling me!
> 
> Then the giant prick has the balls to tell me I might get a little further with them _ **if I wasn’t so rude.** _
> 
> I started screaming at him until my voice was raw. (I had a chest cold, so it wasn’t that long)

I had this problem until I sent a strongly worded email to the head of the division. I gave regularly until I became anemic and was limited to twice a year. Still, I have been deviled by ceaseless phone calls and mailings – as many as four mailings in a single week.

I told them that I would continue to donate as often as I could, but that they were wasting their time and my goodwill, and to _knock off the solicitation_.  
I got an apology and the phone calls have stopped. I have begun getting the crap in the mail again, but that’s not as annoying.

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**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/95 "2012-03-07T19:48:11Z")

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> [@spooje](#):
>
> I pit the Red Cross telemarketers.  
> …  
> Last night, they call again. I pick up and just say ‘take me off your list’ and hang up. the sumbitch calls back!! I ask to speak with his supervisor. He makes like he is trying to get his supervisor, then tells me it would better if he got some info and had the super call me back, because there was only one supervisor on the floor..I stop him and say I do not want a call back. I want them to stop calling me. If they call back then they are still calling me!
> 
> Then the giant prick has the balls to tell me I might get a little further with them _ **if I wasn’t so rude.** _
> 
> I started screaming at him until my voice was raw. (I had a chest cold, so it wasn’t that long)

They’re just trying to get your blood pressure up, get it flowing nice and fast for the next time you donate.

> [@C3](#):
>
> I’m in TL;DR hell. I volunteered to help with a local political campaign and the main person I’m working with cannot say anything in a reasonable amount of words. She sent me eight (EIGHT!) emails yesterday, each over 300 words. All to “discuss” a fairly simple thing I had to do today. She mentioned she wanted to call me to “bounce some ideas” off me. I turned off my phone. Gah!

I just received another email from her…600 words. I don’t have time to do what I actually volunteered for because I’m spending all my time reading emails.

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**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/96 "2012-03-07T20:15:25Z")

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> [@Sigmagirl](#):
>
> I had this problem until I sent a strongly worded email to the head of the division. I gave regularly until I became anemic and was limited to twice a year. Still, I have been deviled by ceaseless phone calls and mailings – as many as four mailings in a single week.
> 
> I told them that I would continue to donate as often as I could, but that they were wasting their time and my goodwill, and to _knock off the solicitation_.  
> I got an apology and the phone calls have stopped. I have begun getting the crap in the mail again, but that’s not as annoying.

They are supposed to respect your request to not receive recruitment phone calls, but some places are better than others. Try calling the [Red Cross Donor and Client Service Center](http://www.newenglandblood.org/giving/step.htm) (The number is at the bottom of the page) to let them know you would like the telephone harrassment to stop. They will likely want to know what region you were donating in, so they can get in touch with the right people.

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**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\
**Post date:** [March 8, 2012, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/97 "2012-03-08T16:07:52Z")

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A small victory over telemarketers. The latest ploy is to dial numbers and then ask for some fictional name, then try to engage you with their spiel. Last night I got one of these:

Hello?

Fred Smith?

Nobody here by that name.

Well, what’s YOUR name?

None of your fucking business. Click.

Childish, I know, but deeply satisfying.

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**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\
**Post date:** [March 8, 2012, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/98 "2012-03-08T16:23:04Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Well, what’s YOUR name?
> 
> None of your fucking business. Click.

I always ask them who they’re calling for. They start thrashing around, because I’m supposed to answer with my name. When I go off script, though, they don’t know what to do, and they try desperately to get back on script. Since there’s no way that I’m going to tell them my name, I’m wasting their time at this point.

My view is that if they don’t know my name, they don’t need to be calling me. My husband and I share a not-uncommon last name, and if a caller doesn’t know that name, then I’m not interested in talking to him/her.

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**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\
**Post date:** [March 8, 2012, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/99 "2012-03-08T16:31:38Z")

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JESUS FUCK PEOPLE! Do you really not know the meaning of the word net. As in safety net.

As in, “We don’t know how they could have fallen through the safety net” or “If there are any holes in the safety net, I’ll fix them”.

A NET is something that is mostly holes. They are designed to let somethings pass through and only catch certain other things. If a net didn’t have holes it would be a wall, or a floor but you wouldn’t call it a mother fucking NET!

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**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\
**Post date:** [March 8, 2012, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/100 "2012-03-08T16:54:24Z")

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> [@Zebra](#):
>
> JESUS FUCK PEOPLE! Do you really not know the meaning of the word net. As in safety net.
> 
> As in, “We don’t know how they could have fallen through the safety net” or “If there are any holes in the safety net, I’ll fix them”.
> 
> A NET is something that is mostly holes. They are designed to let somethings pass through and only catch certain other things. If a net didn’t have holes it would be a wall, or a floor but you wouldn’t call it a mother fucking NET!

Maybe a trampoline.

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