# Beware the mini-Rants of March (4th or otherwise) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 1, 2012, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431 "2012-03-01T08:33:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/121 "2012-03-10T22:08:09Z")
Metro Transit Police Chief Michael Taborn: Shut the fuck up! We Metro riders really do not need to hear the exact same recorded message from you every 5 minutes! ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/122 "2012-03-10T23:45:42Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Shadow just had an ordinary (but expensive) urinary tract blockage… POOR KITTY!!! And poor you, literally. I’ve been lucky, all of our UTIs have been fixed with oral meds. Spike (a male) gets a UTI if the wind blows in the wrong direction. My vet is so cool that he lets me keep meds on hand instead of making me stress Spike out even more by a vet visit. When Bill first came home from the hospital, he didn’t snore. I asked the doctors about it and they said that it was probably because things got shifted around while he was doing his Aztec sacriface routine. They said he might not snore ever again. They lied. (he gets plenty of pussy on the couch. Lucky and fostercat are helping him nap. Traitors!) ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/123 "2012-03-11T13:12:54Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > (he gets plenty of pussy on the couch. ) If only. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2012, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/124 "2012-03-11T13:59:18Z")
> [@Neidhart](#): > > Metro Transit Police Chief Michael Taborn: Shut the fuck up! We Metro riders really do not need to hear the exact same recorded message from you every 5 minutes! The elevator vs Metro door one? I beg to differ, because just this Friday I saw a guy in a business suit almost get carried off when he jammed first his arm, then half his torso into the closing door of a departing train. Luckily the folks in the train were smarter than he was, because they shoved him back out as he was STILL trying to pry open the doors. The hilarious thing is that overhead announcement came on right after this little drama played out. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/125 "2012-03-12T01:32:12Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > If only. All three of the traitorous beasts are helping him nap as I type. He’s got all the pussy that he can handle. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/126 "2012-03-12T01:35:42Z")
There are four cats in the Bodoni household. My husband enjoys plopping down in an easy chair in front of the TV when he gets home. Anywhere from one to four cats will plop down on or beside him, and snuggle. Even the ones that are nominally mine. He’ll look up at me and ask WHY they love HIM so much. And I say “Remember how, when you were a teenager, you wished to be a pussy magnet? Congratulations, your wish was granted. You should have been more specific.” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/127 "2012-03-12T03:13:03Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > All three of the traitorous beasts are helping him nap as I type. He’s got all the pussy that he can handle. You really can’t blame the cats - napping is their speciality! ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/128 "2012-03-12T05:21:29Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > The elevator vs Metro door one? I beg to differ, because just this Friday I saw a guy in a business suit almost get carried off when he jammed first his arm, then half his torso into the closing door of a departing train. Luckily the folks in the train were smarter than he was, because they shoved him back out as he was STILL trying to pry open the doors. The hilarious thing is that overhead announcement came on right after this little drama played out. 😃 I saw someone do this on the platform at Metro Center on Thursday morning. He stuck his foot in the door as it was closing to try to get on. You could see the moment he realized the door wasn’t going to reopen and his foot was caught. Fortunately the man next to him yanked him free before the train started to move, or I would have been really late for work. Somebody apparently jumped onto the tracks at Foggy Bottom on Thursday afternoon, so everything was delayed and backed up on both Blue and Orange and the platforms were overcrowded. We got another announcement about this problem from the train operator, and he didn’t mince words: “Attention, customers in the fourth car back. Please do not stick body parts in the doors to try to force them open. It doesn’t work, and we can’t move until you stop. There’s another train right behind us. See the headlights?” Cracked me up. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/129 "2012-03-12T11:41:28Z")
The Chicago NBC station just broadcast a story about a missing 12-year-old boy who has a history of running away and lying if questioned about his missing status. Anyone who spots him is supposed to call police. Problem? No photo or even a description. Apparently everyone in Chicago should call the cops if they see any boy who looks about 12 years old, even if he insists he’s not a runaway. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/130 "2012-03-12T13:15:13Z")
> [@chizzuk](#): > > Somebody apparently jumped onto the tracks at Foggy Bottom on Thursday afternoon, so everything was delayed and backed up on both Blue and Orange and the platforms were overcrowded. OMG, is THAT what happened??? I was wondering about that.. I was 15 minutes late getting out of work, and over 1.5 hours late getting home, which seemed completely ridiculous to me. That certainly explains it. I got caught by the jumper in.. September? The one at Clarendon. Happened JUST as I got out of work, so by the time I walked to Rosslyn the crowds were insane but manageable, but it was still quite the memorable experience. Perhaps we should pit folks that mess up other people’s commutes. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/131 "2012-03-12T14:00:04Z")
For those of you with kitties who have recurring urinary issues, are they on special food? Typically your vet will have one or more prescription diets on-hand that can help with whatever is causing the issues in the first place, especially if it’s crystals in the urine. ---
**Author:** ![DadWagonDriver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/edb3f5/32.png) [@DadWagonDriver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DadWagonDriver)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/132 "2012-03-12T15:19:18Z")
My mini-rant: **What Exit?** , did you really need to open _nine fucking polls_ in The Game Room at once? I opened Tapatalk to post in the Forza 4 thread last night from my phone, and most of the fucking page was taken up by your bullshit. What, you couldn’t space that out over a few days and have the conversation throughout Spring Training? Bullshit move, dude, bullshit move. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/133 "2012-03-12T19:54:16Z")
> [@Avarie537](#): > > For those of you with kitties who have recurring urinary issues, are they on special food? Typically your vet will have one or more prescription diets on-hand that can help with whatever is causing the issues in the first place, especially if it’s crystals in the urine. Shadow is now on Science Diet for urinary tract problems. Previously, he was on one of the Purina Cat Chows. Since we free feed all four cats, this means that all four are now being switched to this new cat food. I don’t see any other way to make sure that Shadow eats what he’s supposed to eat. Shadow is not a happy boy right now, as his food is being switched (we’re mixing it with the old stuff so the cats don’t get completely confused) and he’s getting liquid medicine twice a day. However, he doesn’t seem to be in pain any more, he’s just not happy about his routine being messed with. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/134 "2012-03-12T20:35:31Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Didn’t you poop enough when you did the prep? Dave Barry theorizes that when you have that prep, after you poop everything you’ve ever eaten in your entire life, then the prep reaches into the future and you start pooping stuff you haven’t even eaten yet. This sounds entirely reasonable to me. > > On a somewhat different subject, one of my cats has a urinary blockage. And it’s gonna cost a couple of grand to get him fixed up again, so he can pee. We had DIFFERENT PLANS for that money. It’s a good thing for him that we love him. Incidentally, he hates getting in the carrier, he hates riding in a car, he hates waiting in the waiting room, and he hates getting put on an exam table. But what he really, really hates is having a stranger handling his penis, and then inserting a catheter. This is not just the hate of a thousand suns. This is a million suns, at least. He regards his penis as his PRIVATE PROPERTY, and he doesn’t want anyone even looking at it, much less handling it. Dave Barry’s hypothesis sounds reasonable to me. Thanks for sharing it. And please apologize to your cat for me. I laughed. I couldn’t help it. You set that up perfectly. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/135 "2012-03-12T20:55:44Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Shadow is now on Science Diet for urinary tract problems. Previously, he was on one of the Purina Cat Chows. > > Since we free feed all four cats, this means that all four are now being switched to this new cat food. I don’t see any other way to make sure that Shadow eats what he’s supposed to eat. Shadow is not a happy boy right now, as his food is being switched (we’re mixing it with the old stuff so the cats don’t get completely confused) and he’s getting liquid medicine twice a day. However, he doesn’t seem to be in pain any more, he’s just not happy about his routine being messed with. One of my 8 has urinary issues, and I feed all of them [Purina Pro-plan’s Urinary diet](http://www.proplan.com/dry-cat-food/urinary-tract-health-formula/default.aspx). I found they ate it better than SD’s diet, plus it’s a titch cheaper, and easier to get (for me anyway, my vet is a ways away and has more limited hours than Petsmart etc) I also give him a hefty Tbsp of canned food every night, to keep up the moisture in his system. Well, they all get canned so’s I can count noses etc, but Handsome gets more than the others. So far so good, and they’ve been on it a year or so. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2012, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/136 "2012-03-12T21:12:51Z")
It’s insanely annoying that in two-thousand-and-fucking-twelve, there is still no quick, easy, and cheap way to electronically send someone money. Bank wire transfer? Have to go in person, lots of forms and info to fill out, costs $30. PayPal? Still has fees (for the amount I want to send, it’s almost as much as the wire transfer,) and both of us have to have a super-duper, valid, confirmed, PayPal account which not everyone does. Money order/Western Union kind of a thing? More fees, and both I and the recipient have to go in person. I should be able to log into my online banking, and simply type in a routing number, account number, and an amount, and have it sent…there is absolutely NO reason this shouldn’t work. If I can send a direct payment to ComCast, why can’t I send one to my friend? ---
**Author:** ![cherry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cherry)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/137 "2012-03-13T04:35:40Z")
I can’t find my SO. He is probably drunk on a sidewalk or a hotel. Whatever it is alcoholics do when they fall off the wagon. Dear SO. - I sometimes hate you. Tonight is one of those nights. Maybe you will call tomorrow. Maybe you won’t. Don’t worry I’ll look after our daughter even if I go into labour I’ll bring her along. Let’s see. I hear sirens. Maybe they are for you because a lot of times they are. It gives me the creeps. I hate living here. I want to go home and not be alone for weeks at a time. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/138 "2012-03-13T04:48:38Z")
> [@cherry](#): > > I can’t find my SO. He is probably drunk on a sidewalk or a hotel. Whatever it is alcoholics do when they fall off the wagon. Dear SO. - I sometimes hate you. Tonight is one of those nights. Maybe you will call tomorrow. Maybe you won’t. Don’t worry I’ll look after our daughter even if I go into labour I’ll bring her along. Let’s see. I hear sirens. Maybe they are for you because a lot of times they are. It gives me the creeps. I hate living here. I want to go home and not be alone for weeks at a time. Aw jeez, **cherry** , you done broke my damn heart with this. PLEASE do what you can to get yourself, your daughter and your future little one in a better place. I gotta lot of slack at the moment; I’ll send some your way. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/139 "2012-03-13T08:14:16Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > I should be able to log into my online banking, and simply type in a routing number, account number, and an amount, and have it sent…there is absolutely NO reason this shouldn’t work. If I can send a direct payment to ComCast, why can’t I send one to my friend? That’s how I do any payment that’s not to a vendor with a “pay me here” website: rental payments, tradesman payments… log in to my bank’s webpage, go to “transfers”, pick “national”, give it the 20-figure bank account, recipient and amount, type in the confirmation code they ask for, voilà. If it’s international, they want the IBAN, recipient and amount, plus the code. It’s not that there isn’t a way to do what you’d like, it’s that your bank sucks. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/140 "2012-03-13T08:56:52Z")
I went to the Coach’s Show for our local hockey team tonight. My rant is directed to two of the women sitting at my table: You both have been season ticket holders longer than I have. We actually have a pretty good team this season - stayed between second and third place all season and we’re looking pretty good getting ready for the playoffs. So why did I spend two fucking hours listening to the two of you bitch and moan? Neither of you had one positive thing to say the entire time. If our hockey team sucks so very badly, why are you at every game? Keep your bitching, moaning, complaining, whining asses at home! I usually enjoy the Coach’s Show, especially at the resturant we’re at now. Dinner was salad bar, chopped steak w/gravy, fried chicken, country ham, mashed potatoes, carrots, greens, macaroni and cheese (made in house and some of the best I’ve ever had), rolls and a choice of several desserts. With a glass of iced tea that never got empty - all for less than $9. Really good service, too. We usually cut up and have a good time but tonight these two were on a roll. I think we’re going to have to keep them from sitting next to each other again. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431.md?page=8)