# Beware the mini-Rants of March (4th or otherwise) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 1, 2012, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431 "2012-03-01T08:33:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/141 "2012-03-13T10:54:01Z")
I put my coat on the counter for **5 minutes** while I put the groceries away, and Mojo peed on it. He was doing better after the three rounds of antibiotics, but he started getting chatty and excessively face-rubby again this past week, making me think his mouth abscesses are still bugging him. Of course my husband hasn’t gotten around to making a new appointment at the vet’s office. I’d make it myself except that it _he’s_ going to be the one bringing him, since the vet’s hours are crappy and I can’t get off work. I asked him to give me a list of times he can do it and I’ll make the damn appointment, but he gets pissy and says he’ll do it. Well, fucking DO it, then. I want to pee on my husband’s coat. And on Mojo. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/142 "2012-03-13T11:03:52Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Shadow just had an ordinary (but expensive) urinary tract blockage. We checked in with the vet tonight and he’s doing much better, although the vet said that they (the vet team) would have preferred to keep that catheter in for another 12 hours or so. Shadow, however, had had enough of it and removed it himself. And he’s made it pretty clear that he doesn’t want another one inserted. > > Ordinarily, Shadow is one of the sweetest, most laid back kitties in the world. He’s rather shy, but friendly once he’s observed a stranger for ten minutes or so. All bets are off when it comes to strangers handling his penis, though. Especially if catheters are involved. I hope he gets better quickly! My littlest furball, Horton, had a PU surgery (which takes care of the “strangers around the penis” problem, since he’s now without one) a couple of years ago after a horrible night at the emergency vet, where it took them over an hour to cath him because he’s so small and everything was so scarred inside. He hasn’t had a recurrence yet, thank goodness, because I’m not sure we could afford it! ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/143 "2012-03-13T11:08:17Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > I should be able to log into my online banking, and simply type in a routing number, account number, and an amount, and have it sent…there is absolutely NO reason this shouldn’t work. If I can send a direct payment to ComCast, why can’t I send one to my friend? In Canada I can send money via email without having to know any of the receiver’s account information. - This message has been brought to you by the Promote Canada, eh? Committee. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/144 "2012-03-13T11:11:16Z")
> [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > I went to the Coach’s Show for our local hockey team tonight. Fight my ignorance, oh person who likes hockey: what is the Coach’s Show? ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/145 "2012-03-13T12:00:52Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > That would be “misuses”, actually. Slow down, people. In English, the double “m” (“-mm-”) makes the preceding vowel “short” – “u” pronounced “uh”. If the German manufacturers really wanted English speakers (other than snobby know-it-alls) to pronounce it “goomie”, they would have either altered the spelling for exported candy (to “Gumi”), or made the pronunciation part of their ad campaign, including printing something like “Pronounce it Goomy!” right on the package. But they didn’t, because they don’t mind that English speakers pronounce it “gummy”. As well they should. That’s a perfectly good English adjective to describe the viscosity of the product. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/146 "2012-03-13T14:25:31Z")
You sure picked the weirdest quote for that rant, **JKellyMap**. I was talking about “use”, you’re talking about “pronunciation”; I’m reasonably sure they are two different concepts. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/147 "2012-03-13T15:03:49Z")
> [@cherry](#): > > I can’t find my SO. He is probably drunk on a sidewalk or a hotel. Whatever it is alcoholics do when they fall off the wagon. Dear SO. - I sometimes hate you. Tonight is one of those nights. Maybe you will call tomorrow. Maybe you won’t. Don’t worry I’ll look after our daughter even if I go into labour I’ll bring her along. Let’s see. I hear sirens. Maybe they are for you because a lot of times they are. It gives me the creeps. I hate living here. I want to go home and not be alone for weeks at a time. I’m so sorry you keep going through this. Keep us posted, okay? Random internet strangers are pulling for you, your daughter, and your kid-to-be. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/148 "2012-03-13T16:02:22Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > I’m so sorry you keep going through this. Keep us posted, okay? Random internet strangers are pulling for you, your daughter, and your kid-to-be. Indeed. I’m walking around singing _“Oh, Cherry, Oh Cherry. Oh, Baby…”_ (UB40). But in this case it’s a prayer. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2012, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/149 "2012-03-13T23:56:58Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > You sure picked the weirdest quote for that rant, **JKellyMap**. I was talking about “use”, you’re talking about “pronunciation”; I’m reasonably sure they are two different concepts. Good point. I meant that as a reply to **cochrane**. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/150 "2012-03-14T00:02:17Z")
ARGH, fucking crane flies EVERYWHERE!!!11! I know they’re harmless, but cripes. Yesterday I was working on various projects outside and took a moment to stop, stand up, look around, and assess progress and future plantings. The grackles had just taken off and everything was very quiet. That’s when I realized I _could hear them._ Everywhere, this tiny brushing sound of their wings beating stupidly against the plants, the grass, the trees. Fuckin’ A, I swear to you every cubic foot of our yard contains at least one. We’re paying for our mild, freeze-free winter already. The mosquitoes are going to be unbearable this year. Betcha we’ll have a cricket population explosion, too. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/151 "2012-03-14T00:38:00Z")
So, at my new job, I can wear shorts. The problem is, I got my last shorts a bunch of weight ago–they’re all 28s, with one pair of 26s, and I’m now wearing 16s. And since it’s going to be 75 tomorrow, and I want to wear shorts, I had to go buy a pair. Except, oh. Wait. The shorts are all either the size of a postage stamp or are freakin’ capris. I look awful in capris, and worse in postage stamp shorts. Also, the hell is with Target’s sizing? 17? Since when the fuck is that even a fucking clothing size? No matter, though, since they don’t fit. Finally I found a pair of “city shorts”, which hit a little above the knee and have some cuff and aren’t fitted to my decidedly un-shapely thigh and knee. This is what I was looking for when I was looking for shorts. Fuck capris. Fuck them fuck them fuck them. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/152 "2012-03-14T00:42:48Z")
Well, [that’s that.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14834204&postcount=41) I helped her pack, and she’ll stay with a friend for the time being. I also gave her a talisman (turquoise; I knew she liked green) and she gave me a nicely worded card and a Kindle giftcert. Also I got a new client. Started today. Should be every week for a while. And so it goes… ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/153 "2012-03-14T01:38:48Z")
Well, damn. Two separate bugs flew into my cup of apple cider and drowned. Guess I won’t be finishing THAT off. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/154 "2012-03-14T01:41:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Except, oh. Wait. The shorts are all either the size of a postage stamp or are freakin’ capris. I look awful in capris, and worse in postage stamp shorts. Also, the hell is with Target’s sizing? 17? Since when the fuck is that even a fucking clothing size? No matter, though, since they don’t fit. Even sizes are girls or misses/women’s sizes. Odd sizes are juniors sizes. Junior clothing is sized for teens and possibly young 20s females. The clothes are designed for a shorter, slimmer figure, with a smaller and higher bust. So if you’re short, go with juniors or women’s petite (WP) sizes, but if you’re over about 5’4", go with misses or regular women’s sizes. > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > ARGH, fucking crane flies EVERYWHERE!!!11! I know they’re harmless, but cripes. Yesterday I was working on various projects outside and took a moment to stop, stand up, look around, and assess progress and future plantings. The grackles had just taken off and everything was very quiet. That’s when I realized I _could hear them._ Everywhere, this tiny brushing sound of their wings beating stupidly against the plants, the grass, the trees. Fuckin’ A, I swear to you every cubic foot of our yard contains at least one. > > We’re paying for our mild, freeze-free winter already. The mosquitoes are going to be unbearable this year. Betcha we’ll have a cricket population explosion, too. Chiggers and fleas, too. Don’t forget them chiggers, because they won’t forget YOU. And now I itch, just thinking about chiggers. ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/155 "2012-03-14T01:53:47Z")
I tripped and fell on the sidewalk while walking and playing on my phone yesterday. Yes, I am now _that_ person. And I scraped the hell out of a hand and leg as punishment. What do you say when someone asks about all your bandaids? “I was trying to check my email?” Brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/156 "2012-03-14T03:27:44Z")
> [@chizzuk](#): > > I tripped and fell on the sidewalk while walking and playing on my phone yesterday. Yes, I am now _that_ person. And I scraped the hell out of a hand and leg as punishment. What do you say when someone asks about all your bandaids? “I was trying to check my email?” Brilliant. Is the phone ok? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/157 "2012-03-14T04:30:23Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Fight my ignorance, oh person who likes hockey: what is the Coach’s Show? Every Monday evening out team Coach does a radio broadcast from a local resturant about the previous week’s games, upcoming games, transactions, stuff like that. It’s basically an excuse to eat out and talk hockey. ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/158 "2012-03-14T05:01:48Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Is the phone ok? :eek: The phone didn’t get a scratch on it. Thank goodness for cases and screen protectors. Maybe I should put myself in an iPhone case. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/159 "2012-03-14T08:45:36Z")
> [@chizzuk](#): > > Maybe I should put myself in an iPhone case. I’m reasonably sure the size loss involved would be unhealthy. Thanks, **SCL**. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2012, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431/160 "2012-03-14T09:05:17Z")
> [@chizzuk](#): > > I tripped and fell on the sidewalk while walking and playing on my phone yesterday. Yes, I am now _that_ person. And I scraped the hell out of a hand and leg as punishment. What do you say when someone asks about all your bandaids? “I was trying to check my email?” Brilliant. Several years ago, a colleague and I were on our way to meet a client downtown. As we walked to our meeting, I caught me heel on a broken sidewalk, and crashed down on top of my hand. Fortunately, my co-worker was there to help me take off my rings, and then usher me into the nearest public restroom to clean up - my hand was a bloody mess. After a few minutes, I got the giggles, and my poor colleague thought maybe I had hit my head, too, until I regained my breath and explained the joke: we were using the ladies’ room at the cathedral, and I had this vision of waving my bloody palm at the sisters or the monsignor and asking whether they’d ever seen such a thing. In retrospect, it wasn’t THAT funny, but at the moment? Hysterical! Today’s mini rant is the same as yesterday, the day before, all last week, etc.: Baby Miss, please let me lay you down for just a few minutes. Please? Without the screaming? I love you, but now and again, I need to feed the rest of the family, or go to the bathroom, or other minor stuff. Really, I’m not going to abandon you! And my arms and shoulders ache sooo much. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beware-the-mini-rants-of-march-4th-or-otherwise/614431.md?page=9)