# Beyond Valley of the Dolls -- worst movie ever made? (UNCODED SPOILERS!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 8, 2007, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163 "2007-04-08T05:08:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/1 "2007-04-08T05:08:03Z")
Not a poll for the worst movie ever made – more of a rhetorical question, really. IFC ran “Beyond Valley of the Dolls” tonight and I cannot believe I watched the whole thing. It was like one of those bad dreams where you watch a plane crash – you can’t do anything to stop it, but you can’t stop watching. How bad was it? Well, Charles Napier was the only actor I remember seeing in any movie other than that one. IMDB lists it as comedy/drama/thriller – not sure which one it was intended to be in, but the heavy-handed symbolism at the end was a funny coding of social mores at the time. I’m not gonna’ list any spoilers yet because some may want to go ahead and code 'em. I say let’s not – we’ve already had one thread almost completely spoiler coded this week. Besides, could you really spoil the ending of this 1970 stinker? What say y’all – can we have some fun with this without the spoiler codes, or is this just a really short thread? ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/2 "2007-04-08T05:39:04Z")
[Roger Ebert on co-writing the movie](http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19700101/REVIEWS/708110301/1023). ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/3 "2007-04-08T06:21:54Z")
Well, it may have been intended as satire, but they didn’t quite bring it off. It just comes off as badly-written, badly-directed and badly-acted. For real satire, you need _M_A_S_H \* or \*Catch 22 \* or \*Apocalypse Now \* or even \*Barbarella \* or _Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice_. Meyer and Ebert may have been shooting for satire, but they missed. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/4 "2007-04-08T07:29:35Z")
We thoroughly enjoyed it. Have it on DVD. I’m betting you were a Siskel man. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/5 "2007-04-08T12:29:55Z")
It’s far from the worst movie ever made, but the highest praise I can offer is that, upon second viewing, it wasn’t quite as bad as I first thought. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/6 "2007-04-08T12:42:31Z")
I had no idea about Ebert’s involvement when I saw it. My main thought after it was over was “this was written by a couple of repressed 40-year-olds reading Hollywood gossip magazines and trying to imagine what those wild and crazy rock n’ roll kids are up to.” ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/7 "2007-04-08T13:02:55Z")
This film proves what a hyporcrite Ebert is for bashing every other misogynistic film which comes out- glass house throwing stones and all. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/8 "2007-04-08T13:45:09Z")
I think with Ebert, it was a matter of “It’s not the movie I wrote.” That’s a common phrase because it’s a common occurence. I certainly don’t hold Ebert responsible for that sound effect when the guy falls out of the rafters. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/9 "2007-04-08T14:28:38Z")
It’s a bad movie – the comedy just isn’t there to redeem all the other crap – but it’s hardly the worst movie ever made. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/10 "2007-04-08T14:51:29Z")
Probably not the worst movie ever made, but it’s on my top 3 most despised movies list. I’d rather watch Manos on a 24 hour loop, than revisit BtVotD for fifteen minutes. Haven’t seen it in what, 35 years? My rage, though, is white hot and brand new. Hate. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/11 "2007-04-08T15:48:03Z")
I thought it was hilarious nearly all the way through. A camp classic. Whether it was intended that way or not. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/12 "2007-04-08T17:04:41Z")
[QUOTE=Rilchiam] I think with Ebert, it was a matter of “It’s not the movie I wrote.” [/QUOTE] Ebert doesn’t say that anywhere in his article about the movie. He seems quite proud of it. I thought it was very entertaining _and_ trashy. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/13 "2007-04-08T18:04:02Z")
How can any movie that contains the line “You shall taste the black sperm of my vengeance!!” be bad?? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/14 "2007-04-08T18:43:57Z")
Yes, but how many movies can claim an appearance by the “ **Strawberry Alarm Clock** ”? ---
**Author:** ![NailBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NailBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NailBunny)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/15 "2007-04-08T21:16:28Z")
Oh god…one of the most (unintentionally?) funny movies I’ve ever seen in my lifetime. _paraphrasing_ “There’s a body inside. It…it doesn’t have a _HEAD_!” “_collective gasp_” “I can walk again!” “_collective_ Hooray!!!” then, music. Bad, bad music. Hee. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2007, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/beyond-valley-of-the-dolls-worst-movie-ever-made-uncoded-spoilers/399163/16 "2007-04-08T21:44:42Z")
[QUOTE=NailBunny] Oh god…one of the most (unintentionally?) funny movies I’ve ever seen in my lifetime. _paraphrasing_ “There’s a body inside. It…it doesn’t have a _HEAD_!” “_collective gasp_” “I can walk again!” “_collective_ Hooray!!!” then, music. Bad, bad music. Hee. [/QUOTE] The humor was quite intentional. My wife loves it’s raunchy campiness. I don’t think it is the worst movie ever made, I just think it is too heavy handed in it’s attempt to be satric and campy at the same time.