# "Biblical" Marrages? are people really okay with this? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [August 24, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926 "2011-08-24T17:56:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/61 "2011-08-25T01:56:08Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > She clearly isn’t happy. What’s your evidence for that? ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/62 "2011-08-25T02:00:00Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Who appointed you a "leader? His wife did. Look Dio, some people do things in a way that is not 100% Dio-approved. That doesn’t mean they are necessarily doing anything wrong. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/63 "2011-08-25T02:17:57Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > His wife did. > > Look Dio, some people do things in a way that is not 100% Dio-approved. That doesn’t mean they are necessarily doing anything wrong. Or her church did. Look, RR, there are a lot of people in this world who find the idea of one adult being subservient to another at least disgusting if not wrong. My spouse insists on performing some traditionally gender specific tasks; so do I. We think it is cute. The wife does not remove dead rodents; the husband does not do laundry that requires bleach. We trust each others’ judgements. We believe in relying on each others’ strengths. We are partners who strive to ensure the whole is more than the sum of the parts. The husband puts food on the table and the wife keeps house - in our case that means the husband does the cooking and the wife does the wallboarding and painting. No way in hell do we think either one of us has the right to tell the other what to do. We’re grown ups here. And we were when we got married. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/64 "2011-08-25T02:36:22Z")
> [@j66](#): > > Or her church did. Which she chooses to keep attending. > [@](#): > > Look, RR, there are a lot of people in this world who find the idea of one adult being subservient to another at least disgusting if not wrong. I’m fully aware of that. It’s just that those people are idiots who think their way of doing things is the only possible way and anyone who would agree to do things any other way is an idiot. > [@](#): > > We trust each others’ judgements. We believe in relying on each others’ strengths. We are partners who strive to ensure the whole is more than the sum of the parts. I’m sure the OP’s friend and his wife would say the exact same thing. > [@](#): > > The husband puts food on the table and the wife keeps house - in our case that means the husband does the cooking and the wife does the wallboarding and painting. If a traditional Muslim or an Orthodox Jew read that, they may think you are idiots who aren’t running your life properly. Why do you think they are wrong when talking about you but you are right when talking about the OP’s friend’s marriage? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/65 "2011-08-25T02:43:25Z")
Any belief system that subordinates one gender to another is fucked up and stupid, and religion is no justification (nor is it an indication of real consent), and I’ll judge the oppressors in those relationships all I want. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/66 "2011-08-25T02:44:32Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > I’m sure the OP’s friend and his wife would say the exact same thing. I doubt either one of them would say that. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/67 "2011-08-25T02:45:48Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > His wife did. > > Look Dio, some people do things in a way that is not 100% Dio-approved. That doesn’t mean they are necessarily doing anything wrong. Any adult who sets himself up as lord and master of another adult is doing something wrong. That’s my opinion. What are you going to do about it? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/68 "2011-08-25T02:54:13Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > 1. Are you saying she _doesn’t_ put the family first? > 2. Why don’t you trust _her_ judgement? He does trust her judgment, **Czar**. Her judgment (which he trusts) finds that his judgment is sound enough to lead the household. If he didn’t trust her judgment he wouldn’t accept her judgment that his judgment is worth trusting and he’d have to trust _her_ judgment as leader of the household. It’s so simple! Do you get it now? ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/69 "2011-08-25T02:54:30Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Any adult who sets himself up as lord and master of another adult is doing something wrong. That’s my opinion. What are you going to do about it? Point and laugh at your complete failure of a worldview, that’s what I’m going to do about it. Also, we’re still waiting on your evidence that the wife is unhappy. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/70 "2011-08-25T02:55:19Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > He does trust her judgment, **Czar**. Her judgment (which he trusts) finds that his judgment is sound enough to lead the household. If he didn’t trust her judgment he wouldn’t accept her judgment that his judgment is worth trusting and he’d have to trust _her_ judgment as leader of the household. It’s so simple! Do you get it now? No, but I will once I find the Tylenol 3 tablets. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/71 "2011-08-25T02:55:48Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Also, we’re still waiting on your evidence that the wife is unhappy. Would you require evidence that she’s unhappy if we’d been told that the husband was, say, beating her? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/72 "2011-08-25T02:56:15Z")
Yeah. Moving this from IMHO to Great Debates. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/73 "2011-08-25T02:57:44Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > No, but I will once I find the Tylenol 3 tablets. I still can’t operate any heavy machinery… ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/74 "2011-08-25T03:03:09Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Would you require evidence that she’s unhappy if we’d been told that the husband was, say, beating her? There’s a big difference between the two situations. Do you see why? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/75 "2011-08-25T03:04:56Z")
No. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/76 "2011-08-25T03:05:07Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > There’s a big difference between the two situations. Do you see why? One is mental subjugation and abuse, and the other is physical subjugation and abuse? ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/77 "2011-08-25T03:06:06Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > He does trust her judgment, **Czar**. Her judgment (which he trusts) finds that his judgment is sound enough to lead the household. If he didn’t trust her judgment he wouldn’t accept her judgment that his judgment is worth trusting and he’d have to trust _her_ judgment as leader of the household. It’s so simple! Do you get it now? So she clearly can’t choose the cup in front of her . . . ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/78 "2011-08-25T03:06:41Z")
I doubt she’s allowed to. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/79 "2011-08-25T03:11:34Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > One is mental subjugation and abuse, and the other is physical subjugation and abuse? People. This thread so illustrates the typical liberal doper’s worldview. The woman is choosing to do something that you wouldn’t choose to do, so of course she shouldn’t be allowed to choose it. Take payday loans. A typical liberal doper wouldn’t choose to borrow at such high interest rates, so of course the payday loan places are “predatory lenders” and should be put out of business. Never mind that many people actually choose to take out those loans because they believe the alternative is worse (i.e., getting a car impounded or getting evicted). By the way, the difference I was going for was that actual physical abuse is illegal, whereas choosing to live in a “Biblical marriage” is not illegal. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926/80 "2011-08-25T03:15:22Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > People. This thread so illustrates the typical liberal doper’s worldview. The woman is choosing to do something that you wouldn’t choose to do, so of course she shouldn’t be allowed to choose it. > > Take payday loans. A typical liberal doper wouldn’t choose to borrow at such high interest rates, so of course the payday loan places are “predatory lenders” and should be put out of business. Never mind that many people actually choose to take out those loans because they believe the alternative is worse (i.e., getting a car impounded or getting evicted). > > By the way, the difference I was going for was that actual physical abuse is illegal, whereas choosing to live in a “Biblical marriage” is not illegal. 1. The people that go to these predatory lenders usually find out that they made the wrong choice in the long run. 2. Physical abuse, if consensual, is not always illegal…putting it on par with “Biblical” marriages, wouldn’t you say? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biblical-marrages-are-people-really-okay-with-this/593926.md?page=5)