# Big Balls, Small Balls, All Balls? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 8, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985 "2010-07-08T17:32:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/41 "2010-07-09T04:19:11Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I’m a straight guy so I have no place responding to the poll. But I popped in to say that you’ve been looking at the wrong guys’ testicles. The guys in my experience have all preferred that I do more than just stare. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/42 "2010-07-09T14:32:03Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > The guys in my experience have all preferred that I do more than just stare. YMMV. Yes - a low whistle of admiration is appreciated. And a dumbfounded “You mean that’s IT?” is **RIGHT OUT**. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/43 "2010-07-09T14:42:06Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I didn’t realize that they move until a few years ago. Did you know that? They kind of sit there and _writhe_ amongst themselves. It’s fascinating. > [@Magiver](#): > > They don’t, the scrotum does have a mind of it’s own though. You’re seeing the contraction of the outer sac. Not so - the testicles retract involuntarily due to the contraction of the cremasteric muscle, based on their temperature, and can also be retracted using the pubococcygeal muscle (which may itself be involuntary to some degree, depending on what **Zsofia** or whoever is doing while she watches). ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/44 "2010-07-09T14:44:01Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Yes - a low whistle of admiration is appreciated. > > And a dumbfounded “You mean that’s IT?” is **RIGHT OUT**. > > Regards, > Shodan Little (serious) side question, what does “right out” mean? Thanks ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/45 "2010-07-09T14:45:23Z")
I’m giggling like mad over here. It’s really a difficult question to answer, mostly because they are indeed always changing. It’s not an age thing, it’s a temperature thing and also an arousal thing. I admit, they’re not at they’re most aesthetically pleasing at full extension, but I’m also a little squicked out when they’re near orgasm and they just sort of disappear along the penis shaft (sometimes, in some guys). Perfection is all about the middle ground. And I love watching the scrotum do the lava lamp thing. I’m terribly lucky to have a lover who doesn’t mind me resting my head on his thigh and watching the show for as long as I like! (Of course, I make it worth his while eventually.) ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/46 "2010-07-09T14:46:26Z")
> [@mangeorge](#): > > Little (serious) side question, what does “right out” mean? > Thanks Means “don’t even think of doing that!” It’s completely out of the question. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/47 "2010-07-09T14:56:23Z")
I don’t mean to be rude or anything, fellas, but I don’t exactly consider penises and their accompanying parts to have aesthetic value. They have utilitarian value, but balls don’t really enter into the utility picture. Oh, what the hell. Big and hairy. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/48 "2010-07-09T14:56:45Z")
[quote=“DivineComedienne, post:35, topic:545985”] Hetero woman here. Okay, I admit it…I really never noticed that they came in sizes! I thought they were all about the same size (much like any other organ), I never saw much discrepancy in the men I have known. Is “big” better? Does that mean you have more sperm or something? Make a guy more “manly”? Or are you referring to the size of the scrotum holding the testicles, rather than the testicles themselves? Does that vary? Does it matter? I think the testes themselves don’t vary much in size between buys, but the size of the whole scrotal area varies quite a bit. That’s why I said “balls” instead of using a more technical term–it more clearly denotes the whole shebang. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/49 "2010-07-09T15:08:42Z")
> [@](#): > > it more clearly denotes the whole shebang. or the whole _he_ bang. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/50 "2010-07-09T15:29:43Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > don’t vary much in size between buys, I’ve been having an aweful time trying to find some to purchase. I’ve looked at Wal-Mart, Target and Kohl’s but they don’t seem to carry them. I bet you can get them at CostCo but I’m not a member. Damn you CostCo for hoarding all the goodies. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/51 "2010-07-09T16:50:41Z")
> [@KinkiNipponTourist](#): > > To paraphrase the great Mr. Lincoln: long enough to reach the ground. Seems like the appropriate time for this ancient ditty: _Do your balls hang low do they wobble to and fro can you tie them in a knot can you tie them in a bow can you sling 'em over your shoulder like a Continental soldier, do your balls hang low?_ ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/52 "2010-07-09T17:14:04Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > I prefer mine chocolate and salty. Me too. I just put 'em in my mouth and suck 'em. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gone2thedogs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@gone2thedogs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gone2thedogs)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/53 "2010-07-13T02:31:56Z")
i guess i should have put no preference but i put other thinking, who cares? ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/54 "2010-07-13T14:02:01Z")
I think men think we care. We don’t. Of course, if they hang lower than the pant leg of your bermudas, you will probably get a wide berth from most of us. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/55 "2010-07-13T14:17:48Z")
I hear they like [Big Balls in Cowtown](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6ooBTJbLkQ&feature=related) ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/56 "2010-07-13T20:21:54Z")
> [@mangeorge](#): > > Little (serious) side question, what does “right out” mean? > Thanks Good God, Man, haven’t you seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail?? As for balls, proportional is good. I guess that’s medium. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/57 "2010-07-13T20:34:37Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > [QUOTE=mangeorge] > > Little (serious) side question, what does “right out” mean? > Thanks Good God, Man, haven’t you seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail?? [/QUOTE] Heh… _FIVE_ is right out. Irrespective of size, I would imagine. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/58 "2010-07-14T00:13:19Z")
😛 > [@elfkin477](#): > > Good God, Man, haven’t you seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail?? Bring me a [shubbery](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UbtcmjfKa8). or I shall say “NEE”. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/59 "2010-07-14T15:45:21Z")
In the nether regions, while large is almost always better, men who do have low hangers are at a distinct disadvantage when running or slipping off bikes onto the bar (which is why “boy’s bikes” always seemed to be a cruel idea). This is the major reason jock straps are so popular - although, oddly enough, not so popular outside of the US. At least in Germany I noted that guys didn’t even know what jocks were. One guy talked to me after we had gone to the gym and said, “were you in a car accident?” He assumed I was wearing some kind of medical bandage! ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985/60 "2010-07-14T17:06:36Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > In the nether regions, while large is almost always better, men who do have low hangers are at a distinct disadvantage when running or slipping off bikes onto the bar (which is why “boy’s bikes” always seemed to be a cruel idea). Speaking of “girl’s bikes”, back in the day we all assumed the missing bar was to protect girls from bumping their nethers. Me being what I am, I researched the idea. Come to find out, there was no bar so the girls wouldn’t have to lift their legs over it, exposing said regions. Dang! Reminds me of “beaver cheaters”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-balls-small-balls-all-balls/545985.md?page=4)