# Big Bird vs. Snuffleupagus: which kicks a\*\*? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 25, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-bird-vs-snuffleupagus-which-kicks-a/171153 "2003-04-25T17:42:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-bird-vs-snuffleupagus-which-kicks-a/171153/21 "2003-04-26T05:38:03Z")
KNOCK him over, rather. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-bird-vs-snuffleupagus-which-kicks-a/171153/22 "2003-04-26T06:08:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by smam \* > \*\*I actually know the answer to this. My brother-in-law Bill is a cop and one time he was involved in a ‘bust’ on a gay brothel. Who should he find in one of the rooms bent over a sweaty pantomime horse? None other than Big Bird, who seemingly lives up to his name in more ways than one. > So everyone was cuffed, questioned and released. A short time later, letters were sent out summoning the ‘perps’ to appear in court. > Turns out Snuffy and Bird had been sharing an apartment for quite a long time, a one-bedroomed apartment if you get my drift. > Snuffy was always in the habit of opening Birds letters. > My Brother-in-law get the call-out , theres big trouble in the gay/muppet district of downtown, the neighbours are scared that someones going to get killed. > By the time Bill gets there the fight has spilled out onto the street. > Snuffy looked like he had a broken leg and slightly longer trunk, one of his eyelashes was stretched so it was sweeping the pavement, but other than that he was ok. > The ambulance never really got there quick enough, they assured Bill that the Heimelich manouvere was never going to work despite his strenuous efforts. > It’s just not that easy to make a grown man cough up a 7 foot bird costume, especially when most of the beak is protruding from his mouth whilst the two over-sized comedy feet are still sticking out his ass. > > Snuffy 1 Big Bird 0 \*\* Oh. My. Fucking. God. I have been totally slain. I’m just glad to learn that I’m not the only one that thinks like this. My brother and I have been writing a series of short stories wherin Sesame Street has totally devolved into a running gang war between the Muppets of Sesame Street and the Muppets of The Muppet Show. Sunffy is a totally strung out Cokehead. His supplier, “Big Daddy”, aka Mohammad X, aka Big Bird has become the warlord that runs most of the Sesame Street gang. Elmo is a smack junkie, turning tricks for H. Oscar has shaved his entire body, and is now a full blown Nazi. Gonzo is the primary ‘good guy’, running guns to the much downtrodden humans. If I can track them down, I’ll post them… or put up a website with the stories. ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-bird-vs-snuffleupagus-which-kicks-a/171153/23 "2003-04-26T06:49:32Z")
This thread brought to you by the letter **H** and the number **8**. ---
**Author:** ![Washte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-bird-vs-snuffleupagus-which-kicks-a/171153/24 "2003-04-26T11:22:17Z")
_**Snuffy! Snuffy! Snuffy!**_ Think about it… He has a trunk and size. All he has to do is reach out and wrap his trunk around that puny little birdy neck and _tweak_… bye bye burdy… 😃 Big Bird always seemed an irritating twunt to me. Never liked him at all. Snuffy on the other hand, though a bit Eeyorish and whiny, didn’t put up with crap. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-bird-vs-snuffleupagus-which-kicks-a/171153/25 "2003-04-26T15:06:04Z")
Moving this to Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-bird-vs-snuffleupagus-which-kicks-a/171153/26 "2003-04-28T13:17:36Z")
**Tristan:** Have you seen the Muppet Christmas special where all the muppets, from Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, and Fraggle Rock, all meet up? Ernie: Hello! Fozzie: Hi, there! Ernie: Hi! That starts with H! There! That starts with T! Fozzie: Does everybody talk like that where you come from? Ernie: Yes, actually, they do. Miss Piggy is late. Kermit: I’m a little worried. Scooter: That’s one worried frog. The Count: One! One worried frog! Kermit’s nephew: I’m kinda worried, too. The Count: Two! Two worried frogs! I have to get a copy of that show… Then there was the crossover memorial episode for Jim Henson where they spent the entire episode trying to figure out exactly who Jim Henson was; somebody put forward the idea that he was one of … _those people… down there!_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-bird-vs-snuffleupagus-which-kicks-a/171153.md?page=1)