Geez, how did I miss this one’s predecessor?
Off to IMHO.
I don’t know, if I had to put money on it I’d bet on a african bull elephant or a full grown hippo in a fight.(Come to think of it hippos are supposed to be pretty nasty too. Guess it doesn’t help they’ve got bigger canines than any predator I know of.)
I myself (a 300 lb. carnivorous ape) am not afraid of any one dog. I’d have to take some serious injuries to an extremity that would probably result in my eventual death without modern medicine, but I am confident I would outlive the dog. A dog can only attack you from one direction at a time…if you can keep it’s mouth off your throat or face, you can take advantage of your greater flexibility, size, and gripping ability to incapacitate and/or kill it. If a german shepherd came after me I would try to get it to bite my arm or leg, and while it did I would knock it off it’s feet and either try to bludgeon it to death or break it’s neck or spine - that is if my kick to it’s belly when it leaps misses.
I would not be confident of winning against a cat of equal size, or even one much smaller. A cat will latch onto you with claws and mouth, it will climb over you to where you cannot get your hands on it, and while it’s working towards your throat it’s going to be shredding you by raking with it’s hind legs and trying to take out your eyes with it’s front legs. You’d have to be lucky to beat a cat.
This is why I practice beating up my housecats every day; so I’ll be ready if a lion shows up.
IIRC hippos are repsonsible for far more human deaths than lions are in Africa. They are faster than their size would seem to indicate and they are ornery critters. If you’re in the water with them you’re in even worse trouble than on land.
Badtz Maru:
I have a German Shepherd and two cats and I can say with 100% certainty I would rather face my 95 pound shepherd before my 10 pound cat. While the shepherd has the potential to inflict much more serious wounds I am confident I could overcome her. The cat might not technically be capable of killing me but I firmly believe she could (and would) cause much more damage to me in subduing her. I saw her go absolutely nuts into freak/hyper/ultra-spas mode (not the usual kitty crazies where they run around for a few minutes). This was full on hyper mode. No idea why…nothing was within ten feet of her and she stopped 30 seconds after she started of her own accord like nothing was wrong. Absolutely freaked me out. She was so fast I literally couldn’t see more than a blur and she was screeching enough to freeze me in my tracks. I was concerened as something seemed dramatically wrong but I didn’t have a clue as to what to do as I definitely didn’t want to approach her. After she was done I checked her out and all seemed fine…no idea why she did that but I’ll never forget it. I’ve seen my shepherd angry and she didn’t scare me half as much as that cat did although the dog wasn’t angry at me so maybe that had something to do with it (as much as I think I could take any single dog I would NOT want to if it could at all be avoided…even if I’m the ultimate winner I know I will be hurt fairly badly before it is over).
gentlemen,
It is my pleasure and privillege to inform you that I have been in contact with both the big dog and the big cat and I have come to a conclusion.
Whilst the big dog can talk up a storm and has arms and thighs thick like cream atop pavlova the big cat is shredded and finds it easier to connect with the pussay (makes sense i guess). However i have come to the conclusion that neither the big cat nor the big dog rule the animal kingdom, but rather the big mahn. The big mahn has the banter of the big dog and the box smashing ability of the big cat as well as being the most evolutionarily evolved and as such it is the big mahn that we should all strive to be.
all the very best gentlemen
BD
If you had waited another 6 weeks before reviving this zombie you would have won a prize.