# Big fake boobs
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [January 18, 2012, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896 "2012-01-18T12:23:11Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/21 "2012-01-18T15:32:15Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#):
>
> Just because it’s you asking…okay. 😃
I love it when you do things to make me happy. 😛
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### Author:  [@BetsQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BetsQ)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/22 "2012-01-18T15:45:35Z")
Count me in with **WhyNot** and **CrazyCatLady** and those who’ve said that cancer would be a possible reason for implants. I’ve spent most of my life from about age 15 on despairing about the size of my chest - I have a hard time imagining that some women actually want bigger breasts.
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### Author:  [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/23 "2012-01-18T15:51:03Z")
They look good in clothes (as do nonsurgical options like padded bras), but they’re a huge turnoff naked.
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/24 "2012-01-18T16:09:17Z")
I really, really dislike fake breasts. If I can tell they’re fake, and most of the time I can, then they’re a turn off. Maybe it’s the artifice, maybe it’s the indication that the woman involved likely has esteem issues.
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/25 "2012-01-18T16:11:13Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#):
>
> I’ve always been an A cup or less, and have spent most of my life thinking about getting them “fixed”. However, when the time came that I could actually do it, I was surprised to find that I have some reservations about it. Not about the danger of it, but it just seems better to me somehow to try and accept my deformities. 🙂 Yeah, all right, I still don’t _like_ them…but they’re okay.
Having small breasts is not a deformity, it’s a natural variation. You are beautiful just the way you are!
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### Author:  [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/26 "2012-01-18T16:12:35Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#):
>
> No, I mean generally, if you see a nice pair only to be told they’re fake do think “Mmm” “Meh” or “Blech”.
If they look nice, they look nice. I don’t particularly care about locally sourced, free range, organic, culturally authentic boobs (or food, for that matter).
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### Author:  [@PotLuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PotLuck)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/27 "2012-01-18T16:25:45Z")
> [@BetsQ](#):
>
> Count me in with **WhyNot** and **CrazyCatLady** and those who’ve said that cancer would be a possible reason for implants.
I fourth this sentiment even though I’ve always considered my unperky B’s unattractive. I decided long ago that if my boobs turned off a potential mate I’d be better off without him, and I was right. My boyfriend loves my body because I’m in it, not because it’s perfect – and I feel the same way about his.
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/28 "2012-01-18T16:36:35Z")
I said I’d never get them, and then I thought about the reconstruction situation, and then I still decided that I’d never get them because my understanding from a plastic surgeon friend of mine is that the abdominal muscle twist-a-roo (that may not be the actual medical term) results in a more natural looking and feeling boob when all is said and done.
I would absolutely get a breast _lift_ if the girls plumit to the basement anytime soon (when I’m 80, not so much) - I’m pretty sure given my dimensions I could get it done with a reduction thrown in, which I think would be delightful. A nice pair of Cs would be my dream boob, I think.
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### Author:  [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/29 "2012-01-18T16:46:25Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#):
>
> Having small breasts is not a deformity, it’s a natural variation. You are beautiful just the way you are!
Well, thank you for the kind words! Someday I will get my attitude properly adjusted.
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### Author:  [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/30 "2012-01-18T17:02:46Z")
I didn’t vote becuase I didn’t like the choices.
Fake or real doesn’t matter as such \*provided \*they look natural, or natural-plus-a-bit. I admit my definition of “natural looking” has probably drifted a bit towards unreality over the last decade as fakes have become more commonplace.
Perky beats raw volume hands down.
Ginormous udders, real or fake, are a turn off. Fake ones doubly so for what they say about the mind who owns them.
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### Author:  [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/31 "2012-01-18T18:07:30Z")
Some fake breasts look great - some look obviously fake, which is not a great look unclothed IMO - some look downright deformed. I’m not going to be manhandling them so it makes little difference to me in the end.
I’m a woman with very small (but cute and fairly proportionate) breasts and I’ve never thought of getting implants, but on reflection I’m not really opposed to the idea, if I had a reason (pregnancy destroying what I do have, breast cancer, etc) and could afford it. If I disliked my breasts or thought bigger was much better, I might have considered it before, but aesthetically I prefer small to medium boobs, which I might achieve yet with simple weight gain. 🙂
I don’t have anything against cosmetic surgery and I absolutely do think it can improve someone’s appearance, and even self-esteem, hugely (I run into plenty of people on the internet - who have never had it - who insist the opposite, which makes no sense to me). But I have no desire to have any procedures myself.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/32 "2012-01-18T18:31:14Z")
I’m not a fan of the bolt-on look (like you halved a cantaloupe and bolted the halves to your chest) but I’m not a fan of unnecessary cosmetic plastic surgery overall.
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### Author:  [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/33 "2012-01-18T18:48:29Z")
I echo Dung Beetle; I’ve always been small and slightly unhappy about it. I’m fairly tall, so I lament the disproportionateness of it all. I should have come equipped with C cups! But alas I’ve been an A all my life, except when nursing or slightly overweight. Which I am now. When I lost a ton of weight after my divorce my poor boobs were downright pathetic. I bought a water bra and tried to pretend.
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### Author:  [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/34 "2012-01-18T18:58:17Z")
I voted “never”, as I’m pro-breastfeeding\* and hoping to have another baby someday.
But I add my voices to those above who’d probably get a reconstructive pair done if I ever had breast cancer or had a significant amount of tissue removed for other medical reasons.
- not beastfeeding. interesting typo there!
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### Author:  [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/35 "2012-01-18T19:07:07Z")
Fake breasts are so gross looking to me idk why…it looks super gross when the woman is bone thin with size G breasts.
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### Author:  [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/36 "2012-01-18T19:30:02Z")
> [@hermette](#):
>
> I voted “never”, as I’m pro-breastfeeding\* and hoping to have another baby someday.
> …
Please fight my ignorance. Is there something about implants that would interfere with a breast’s function as an actual, you know, mammary gland? I don’t know much about the surgical process but it seems like all the essential baby feeding parts are left undisturbed. Am I underinformed here?
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### Author:  [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/37 "2012-01-18T19:44:44Z")
That depends on the type of surgery you have. I believe it used to be customary to nearly or completely detach the areola and nipple and insert the implant in the breast that way, for less scarring; lately, for a more natural look, the implant is placed behind the pectoral muscle, and the incision is made in the armpit area.
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### Author:  [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/38 "2012-01-18T19:48:29Z")
I’d like to have it done for one reason - my breasts are seriously different sizes. As in one is D-cup and one is B-cup. Try finding a bra for that! I’ve always hated wearing a swimsuit for that reason. I wouldn’t want to go bigger - oh hell no - but I would like some evenness.
I’ve just never had the money.
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### Author:  [@RedBloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedBloom)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/39 "2012-01-18T19:55:58Z")
Fake breast owner here, and a very happy one at that. Major surgery? I was home vacuuming 3 hours after surgery. I was mildly sore for 2 days, then back to work. They are a normal C cup. (I had disgusting saggy A cups before - you know, golf-balls-in-a-tube-sock tits). Nasty. I cried when I looked in the mirror, that’s how ugly they were. I look proportionate now and fill out tops nicely. I wouldn’t change my decision for the world. Nobody (except my husband) knows they’re fake. (He loves them too). They look completely natural. Everyone has this idea that the only option is the ‘Pamela Anderson’ version, and that is absolutely NOT the case. The majority of women don’t want watermelons in their bras.
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### Author:  [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2012, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/40 "2012-01-18T20:06:25Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#):
>
> Please fight my ignorance. Is there something about implants that would interfere with a breast’s function as an actual, you know, mammary gland? I don’t know much about the surgical process but it seems like all the essential baby feeding parts are left undisturbed. Am I underinformed here?
I was under the impression that it totally messed with the milk ducts, nipple, etc, but **rhubarbarin** ’s post implied otherwise. I was certainly told to avoid even wearing an underwired bra during pregnancy/nursing, as the pressure from the wire on the delicate milk producing tissue was a Bad Thing, so I assume that the presence of large bags (possibly oozing silicone, if you listen to horror stories) were a definite no-no.
I have no cites - let me just check Wikipedia? 😉
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