# Big fake boobs
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [January 18, 2012, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896 "2012-01-18T12:23:11Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)
#### Post date: [January 19, 2012, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/61 "2012-01-19T11:25:52Z")
A complete turn off, along with tattoos, yuck.
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### Author:  [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)
#### Post date: [January 19, 2012, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/62 "2012-01-19T12:02:15Z")
I said I’d never have it done. I did think of cancer, but I have to think the OP only meant cosmetically.
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### Author:  [@YoDoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YoDoc)
#### Post date: [January 19, 2012, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/63 "2012-01-19T12:18:48Z")
> [@Zep\_Tepi](#):
>
> Sorry but big ones are a real turnoff for me. Anything more than a hand full is a waste.
I agree, but I have BIG hands…
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### Author:  [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)
#### Post date: [January 19, 2012, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/64 "2012-01-19T12:38:44Z")
> [@SenorBeef](#):
>
> That said, I suppose they could be like hairpieces. Every time you spot a bad hairpiece, you think “damn, that’s ugly, why does anyone have a hair piece?” but if you were to spot a nice one, you wouldn’t know it was a hairpiece. Maybe it’s similar with fake tits - maybe there are some nice medium sized fake tits floating around and you wouldn’t even notice they’re fakes because they’re not dialed up to 11.
This is exactly true. My ex-sister in law has a reasonable, yuppie soccer mom sized pair, not a Dallas cheerleader sized pair. I honestly didn’t know they were augmented until she told me. She and her husband are solidly in “the 1%”, so they certainly weren’t shopping around for the cheapest doctor. They did their research, got a reasonable implant size based on her frame and butt size and an excellent doctor to do the procedure.
She was even able to breastfeed years and years later, which surprised me. I’d have thought the scarring would disrupt the milk ducts. Guess not!
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### Author:  [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)
#### Post date: [January 19, 2012, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/65 "2012-01-19T13:28:32Z")
> [@RedBloom](#):
>
> Fake breast owner here, and a very happy one at that. Major surgery? I was home vacuuming 3 hours after surgery. I was mildly sore for 2 days, then back to work. They are a normal C cup. (I had disgusting saggy A cups before - you know, golf-balls-in-a-tube-sock tits). Nasty. I cried when I looked in the mirror, that’s how ugly they were. I look proportionate now and fill out tops nicely. I wouldn’t change my decision for the world. Nobody (except my husband) knows they’re fake. (He loves them too). They look completely natural. Everyone has this idea that the only option is the ‘Pamela Anderson’ version, and that is absolutely NOT the case. The majority of women don’t want watermelons in their bras.
**RedBloom** , I think it’s great that you were able to do that and that it turned out well. I bet clothes shopping is a lot more fun too!
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [January 19, 2012, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/66 "2012-01-19T14:00:45Z")
> [@Laggard](#):
>
> I’m sure lots of women with obvious fakies think the same thing.
And so what if they do? I’m glad that she’s happy with her surgery. You go, **RedBloom**!
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### Author:  [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)
#### Post date: [January 19, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/67 "2012-01-19T14:18:02Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#):
>
> **RedBloom** , I think it’s great that you were able to do that and that it turned out well. I bet clothes shopping is a lot more fun too!
Clothes are the main reason I’ve always toyed with the idea. Puckered fabric on the front of blouses is not a good look, which happens frequently with me. I’m tall so if stuff is S-M-L I almost always wear a large.
That said, underwire bras help tremendously. I’ve worn them exclusively since I started having kids and the inevitable sag set in.
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [January 19, 2012, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/68 "2012-01-19T14:28:05Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#):
>
> Puckered fabric on the front of blouses is not a good look.
Yes it is. 🙂
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### Author:  [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)
#### Post date: [January 19, 2012, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/69 "2012-01-19T17:15:00Z")
While too big breasts are a turnoff for me, it has nothing to do with whether they are real or fake, so I chose the second option. And even if I did care, I’m not going to know outside of a certain situation where I’m pretty much already committed. In other words, I can’t tell if they are covered and supported. And when I look at pictures, my mind is usually otherwise occupied.
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### Author:  [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)
#### Post date: [January 19, 2012, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/70 "2012-01-19T17:20:27Z")
I’m a guy.
A good portion of the time, after a good surreptitous ogle, I could not reliably answer the following poll:
she has big fake boobs
she has big real boobs
she has small real boobs
she has two boobs
she has boobs
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### Author:  [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)
#### Post date: [January 19, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/71 "2012-01-19T20:07:52Z")
> [@WhyNot](#):
>
> I just don’t think the same thoughts about large breasts that small breasted women sometimes think.
This. I imagine some women with smaller breasts feel inadequate, but when I look at them, I think, ‘‘FREEDOM!’’ I’ve seen plenty of stunning women with small chests and I don’t understand the inadequacy there - it just seems smaller would be more convenient.
I don’t really care about breast augmentation one way or another. If women want it, okay, I guess. I don’t understand it, because the pasture isn’t always so green over here - but I’m not going to judge it.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [January 19, 2012, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/72 "2012-01-19T20:18:57Z")
I look at proportionally-small-chested women, and think how much their backs probably _don’t_ hurt, how they can run without smacking themselves in the face, how much cheaper their bras are, how much more selection for bras there is, how they can wear shirts that button in the front, how they have a better chance of men actually recognizing their faces…
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### Author:  [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/73 "2012-01-20T00:48:04Z")
Does it matter what we women think about the way they look? I like women with smaller breasts myself. Especially if the woman is slightly round and soft looking. No celebrity to compare it to really because they just don’t seem to make them that way out there in Hollywood.
I would never consider any cosmetic surgery for myself unless something disfiguring struck me and especially not breasts. Mine are just fine.
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### Author:  [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/74 "2012-01-20T03:55:54Z")
I don’t have large boobs but they aren’t small either. I think I am a 36B cup maybe…I really don’t know, I haven’t bought a bra in a while and I lost a bunch of weight 2 years ago along with some of my breasts – thank god!
If I could I would gladly belong to the: IBTC - Itty-Bitty-Titty-Committee. I plan on losing the last 10lbs this year, so hopefully they shrink even more. Sure, I wish they were all perky as they were 20 years ago, but fake ones — never.
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### Author:  [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/75 "2012-01-20T03:57:26Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#):
>
> I imagine some women with smaller breasts feel inadequate, but when I look at them, I think, ‘‘FREEDOM!’’ I’ve seen plenty of stunning women with small chests and I don’t understand the inadequacy there - it just seems smaller would be more convenient.
Why would someone with small breasts feel inadequate? Just because our entire society is breast obsessed maybe? And in popular culture, bigger is always better? That with current styles, there is definitely a lot of cleavage being exposed? Plenty of ways for small or nonexistent boob owners to feel inadequate.
There is definitely breastism out there. It’s naive to think otherwise. Sometimes it works in your favor, sometimes it doesn’t.
I’m a B on a good day. When I was younger, I wished I had bigger boobs. At 42, I am more than happy with the ones I have. Smaller boobs hold up really well to gravity. Mine still look pretty awesome, but it’s taken me a while to be at peace with it.
I’ve known women that have had boob jobs. I’ve even felt up a woman that had a boob job. (Not sexual, she was looking for advice.) It felt fake-did not feel nor move like a real boob. It also seemed like you could feel the edge of the implant; it was similar to the sealed edge of a plastic bag. They were only a couple of weeks old, maybe they changed after a while, but it creeped me out.
Also, I have the two year theory on fake boobs. Within two years of an elective boob job, they will get a divorce. I’ve seen it time after time. Don’t know if it’s lack of self esteem, more attention from men, having him pay for it before she leaves or what, but it’s been true more often than not.
Two year rule does not apply to reconstructive surgery, and if I had to, I would get implants, and probably go up a size, too. Might as well take advantage of a bad situation…
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### Author:  [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/76 "2012-01-20T04:54:21Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#):
>
> Does it matter what we women think about the way they look? I like women with smaller breasts myself. Especially if the woman is slightly round and soft looking. No celebrity to compare it to really because they just don’t seem to make them that way out there in Hollywood.
>
> I would never consider any cosmetic surgery for myself unless something disfiguring struck me and especially not breasts. Mine are just fine.
[First season](http://criticalviewing.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/buffy-season1.jpg) [Buffy](http://dvdmedia.ign.com/dvd/image/buffyrev2.jpg)? (As opposed to [seventh season](http://www.tvscape.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/buffy7.jpg) [Buffy](http://img2-2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/020930/11546__buffy_l.jpg).)
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### Author:  [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/77 "2012-01-20T07:09:35Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#):
>
> Ladies - would you ever have it done…
I solved my small boob problem the natural way - by getting fat!
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### Author:  [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/78 "2012-01-20T14:16:21Z")
> [@fisha](#):
>
> Why would someone with small breasts feel inadequate? Just because our entire society is breast obsessed maybe? And in popular culture, bigger is always better? That with current styles, there is definitely a lot of cleavage being exposed? Plenty of ways for small or nonexistent boob owners to feel inadequate.
Anyone ever hear the phrase “real women have curves”?
When I was between the ages of twelve and fifteen, it seemed like everyone went out of their way to let me know I was inadequately developed (including total strangers and my own mom). By the time I started dating, I was just relieved a guy would settle for a girl with my obvious deficiencies. And of course, I went out with some swell guys, who made sure to tell me I was no porn star.
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### Author:  [@YoDoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YoDoc)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/79 "2012-01-20T14:30:43Z")
I prefer big boobs on my women ( I’m married, so, woman, I guess). That preference did not stop me from dating, and thoroughly enjoying, small breasted women. I dislike that society does what it do, in making that preference a requirement.
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### Author:  [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/80 "2012-01-20T15:23:50Z")
Oh, other two pet peeves about boobs.
1. I hate to tell you guys, but past the age of 20, very few, (And I mean _ **very** _ few) women are 5’8, 120# and have D boobs. Women are just not naturally built that way. No matter what anyone tells you, or what you see in porno or the media, women have to have a certain amount of fat to make big boobs. Oh, sure there are exceptions, but that is what they are, exceptions.
You want a 5’8" 120 athletic build woman? You’re gonna get smaller boobs. Or a boob job.
You want DD’s that are perky? Go to the local high school. Beyond that, they are almost always a boob job.
So fake boobs create a false sense of reality. Which makes it even more skewed against smaller and/or natural boobs. Which makes the pressure to have the perfect boobs more intense.
1. For years when I was growing up, women, especially feminists, would decry corsets, whalebone stays, and all the undergarments women used throughout history to have bigger looking boobs, and smaller waists. It was put on the same level as torture devices.
Yet, it is empowering now to go and have major surgery (with its own risks) to accomplish the exact same thing. Rah, rah I am woman, hear me roar. That’s kinda nuts to me.
Have I thought about getting fake boobs? Yep, sure have-I can afford it, and it is obviously socially acceptable.
Reasons I haven’t?
1. Too much of a rebel. You want big boobs, society at large? Fuck you, I’m not giving in.
2. The feel/motion is creepy
3. Don’t want to get divorced ( two year rule, remember?)
4. Don’t want to find out how much different society at large will treat me. I think I’ll be disappointed in humanity. (Similar to people who lose a lot of weight and are treated so differently.)
5. Professional reasons. I run a construction company, I think I would be treated less professionally with a big rack and lose credibility.
6. Having to redo it in 10 years
7. I’ve known quite a few women that have had it done, and expressed regrets. There is a not insignificant percentage that get it undone. The grass is not always greener.
8. I’ve got nice boobs, they’re just smaller. And since about 30, that is working in my favor. Thankfully I’d had men that enjoyed both me and them.
So for all those men who appreciate smaller boobs, thank you. For all those men who prefer natural, thank you.
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