# Big fake boobs
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [January 18, 2012, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896 "2012-01-18T12:23:11Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 5
### Author:  [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/81 "2012-01-20T16:52:41Z")
To hell with _The Vagina Monologues_. I’d go hear **fisha** deliver a _Mammary Monologue_!
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### Author:  [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/82 "2012-01-20T17:19:50Z")
> [@fisha](#):
>
> There is definitely breastism out there. It’s naive to think otherwise. Sometimes it works in your favor, sometimes it doesn’t.
I wasn’t trying to imply that there isn’t. What I am really saying is, as a large-chested woman, the actual value of big tits to a woman is worth questioning.
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#):
>
> Anyone ever hear the phrase “real women have curves”?
>
> When I was between the ages of twelve and fifteen, it seemed like everyone went out of their way to let me know I was inadequately developed (including total strangers and my own mom). By the time I started dating, I was just relieved a guy would settle for a girl with my obvious deficiencies. And of course, I went out with some swell guys, who made sure to tell me I was no porn star.
That sucks. But is it really worse than being called ‘‘Twin Peaks’’ by your neighbor and constantly harassed by older men since the age of 12? It’s not like I had a line of boyfriends waiting to carry my books in school or anything - I had a handful of assholes who thought it was hilarious to mock me for my chest size. And as an adult, it’s not like anybody really gives a shit about my big tits now - except me, when I’m trying to find a bra that fits.
Women are always going to be made to feel inadequate, they are always going to be objectified and critiqued sexually, and that’s something that is wrong with society, but it’s not like objectively better to have big breasts. That’s my whole point. Women feel inadequate for something that is absolutely ridiculous and rather arbitrary, because you’re gonna get shit either way.
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### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/83 "2012-01-20T17:29:45Z")
I voted about the question asked. The question wasn’t about reconstructive surgery, nor did it include reductions.
Would I have reconstructive surgery? Probably. Would I have had a reduction if I’d been the size of that dorm-mate who couldn’t wait to be able to get one? Hell, yes! Would I want bigger boobs? What the heck for, my B cups already get in the way.
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### Author:  [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/84 "2012-01-20T17:33:17Z")
Big fake boobs are gross and generally betrays an underlying lack of self-confidence and superficiality which as character flaws are even bigger turn offs. However, I would probably feel neutral about it if it weren’t cosmetic and were post-cancer or otherwise reconstructive. To me, large size is only better up to a point where one doesn’t fit in my hand anymore and starts to affect firmness. I’d take small firm ones over large sagging ones any day of the week and I’d take either over fake.
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### Author:  [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/85 "2012-01-20T17:43:03Z")
“the actual value of big tits to a woman is worth questioning.”
Very few women would elect to have no chest, than an overly large one. So, obviously there **is** a value to breasts.
Not trying to be too big of a bitch, but seeing how many women (At least 350,000 a year and increasing) elect to spend thousands and go under the knife for bigger boobs, how can you say that with a straight face?
What percentage of large chested women have reductions?
What percentage of small or flat chested women have implants?
I get that really big boobs can be a liability physically and in society in general, but it’s easy for you to say that boobs are overrated.
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### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/86 "2012-01-20T17:43:53Z")
> [@SenorBeef](#):
>
> That said, I suppose they could be like hairpieces. Every time you spot a bad hairpiece, you think “damn, that’s ugly, why does anyone have a hair piece?” but if you were to spot a nice one, you wouldn’t know it was a hairpiece.
I can’t remember his name now, but back in the 70s, this Spanish actor who’d play the heartthrob as often as a comic role did a skit on what was then the only channel available where he threatened with taking his hairpiece off, and people were laughing so hard because, you know, like that guy’s going to have a hairpiece, u-hu…
and then he did!
I was too young to remember it, but I understand it was possible to tell who’d been watching TV from the exclamations heard through the walls.
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### Author:  [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/87 "2012-01-20T18:00:37Z")
A pert-inent article on Slate right now:
[The Return of the Pert Knocker: Could small breasts make a comeback?](http://www.slate.com/articles/life/doonan/2012/01/small_breasts_could_they_make_a_comeback_.html)
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### Author:  [@Commander\_Fortune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Commander_Fortune)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/88 "2012-01-20T18:01:18Z")
I’m female and recently lost a LOT of weight; I’m back to the 36C I was in my teens. When I was heavy, I was a 42DD. I thought I missed them, so I went and got a ridiculous and expensive bra that adds 3 cup sizes.
My +3 magic tits are nice and light, but I can’t believe how much I bang into them with my arms, and how generally in the way they’d be on a day to day basis. I can’t even imagine trying to work out with them. Truly, they are fun to wear with certain outfits, but I’m glad I can take them off at the end of the night.
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/89 "2012-01-20T18:24:45Z")
> [@Renee](#):
>
> The what now?
[http://www.breastreconstruction.org/TypesOfReconstruction/diep\_flap.html](http://www.breastreconstruction.org/TypesOfReconstruction/diep_flap.html)
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### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/90 "2012-01-20T18:56:59Z")
Because I’m a narrow-minded shithead, the presence of fake boobs (absent reconstruction) would immediately raise red flags about someone’s self-image and vanity, and what underlying baggage led her to think she is only as good as her boobies.
On the other hand, anyone willing to share even a paltry parcel, thereby making it any of my business, is a huge turn on. Real (regardless of size) please. If there’s reconstruction to be contemplated I at least as cool with none as with prosthetics. I mean, if we all know they’re fake, what’s the point? But as I said, mine is the opinion of a narrow-minded shithead.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/91 "2012-01-20T19:15:25Z")
> [@Commander\_Fortune](#):
>
> I’m female and recently lost a LOT of weight; I’m back to the 36C I was in my teens. When I was heavy, I was a 42DD. I thought I missed them, so I went and got a ridiculous and expensive bra that adds 3 cup sizes.
>
> My +3 magic tits are nice and light, but I can’t believe how much I bang into them with my arms, and how generally in the way they’d be on a day to day basis. I can’t even imagine trying to work out with them. Truly, they are fun to wear with certain outfits, but I’m glad I can take them off at the end of the night.
That sounds sort of perfect - big boobs that you can wear when you feel like it, and take them off the rest of the time.
Just an FYI for the guys out there - big boobs turn into _looonnnnnnggggg_ boobs. Gravity is indeed a harsh mistress. 😃
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### Author:  [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/92 "2012-01-20T21:00:26Z")
> [@fisha](#):
>
> “the actual value of big tits to a woman is worth questioning.”
> Very few women would elect to have no chest, than an overly large one. So, obviously there **is** a value to breasts.
>
> Not trying to be too big of a bitch, but seeing how many women (At least 350,000 a year and increasing) elect to spend thousands and go under the knife for bigger boobs, how can you say that with a straight face?
> What percentage of large chested women have reductions?
>
> I get that really big boobs can be a liability physically and in society in general, but it’s easy for you to say that boobs are overrated.
I’m a little confused, because in your mammary monologue it seems like you’re saying, ‘‘to hell with fascist beauty standards,’’ and even ‘‘the grass is not always greener.’’ But that’s basically what I’m saying, and it’s pissing you off for some reason. It seems like you’ve questioned whether their value is worth it, and decided it isn’t, and decided you like your body anyway. I’m just saying I wish more women thought like you.
And in the interest of full disclosure, despite the hassle of having larger breasts I do love them; they are in fact my favorite physical attribute, and I could not imagine not being happy with that part of my body. You’re probably right that I take that for granted.
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### Author:  [@simple\_homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simple_homer)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/93 "2012-01-20T21:53:21Z")
I’m a guy, and I hate fake boobs.
My generalization has always been that women with big fake boobs are probably insecure twits, and the men that love the big fake boobs are probably stupid neanderthals.
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### Author:  [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/94 "2012-01-20T22:20:11Z")
My friend got hers (droopy after 3 kids) to what they were during the early part of her 1st pregnancy, from which she had some pics. They are magnificent, and I don’t blame her a bit. Somewhere around between a C and a D cup.
So, if a women had small droopy boobs, I don’t blame her a bit from “moving on up” to a C or even a D cup. But those gargantuan monsters belong on strippers and porn stars.
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/95 "2012-01-20T22:31:10Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#):
>
> And in the interest of full disclosure, despite the hassle of having larger breasts I do love them; they are in fact my favorite physical attribute, and I could not imagine not being happy with that part of my body. You’re probably right that I take that for granted.
I was totally flat chested - as in, not even an A, up until my mid 20s. I didn’t even own a bra until I was 21 and I _LOVED_ it. I had no concerns with my lack of boobage. Like, at all.
Then, sadly, genetics kicked in and I have big honkin’ boobies. Eventually I will have surgery for a reduction because I do get headaches and backaches from them and I’m really, really tired of not being able to wear button up blouses. If I could wave a wand and they were gone onto some smaller chested gal that was interested I would do it in a second.
So really, having been on both sides of the coin, I have to say, small boobs are way superior to big boobs, at least to me. Now, the Mr. happens to be a (big) boob man, so I guess I was able to use them to lure him in; however, I find them highly overrated.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/96 "2012-01-20T22:55:08Z")
Maybe plastic surgeons should require that women who want fairly large implants should be given a fake set to wear around for a couple of weeks before they are approved for the surgery. You can only take them off to bathe - that’s it. Wear them full-time the rest of the time, and see if the benefits really do outweigh the negatives. I think some women would still go ahead with it, and some women would change their minds at the reality of carting those sweater puppies around 24/7.
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### Author:  [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2012, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/97 "2012-01-20T23:17:11Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#):
>
> And in the interest of full disclosure, despite the hassle of having larger breasts I do love them; they are in fact my favorite physical attribute, and I could not imagine not being happy with that part of my body. You’re probably right that I take that for granted.
I think that’s what I was reacting to. “Let them eat cake.” If you are an outlier, you are on the right side of the bell curve. I, and a couple other posters have mentioned it’s not as much fun on the wrong side of the curve.
I can see how it would be harder physically, and difficult to be taken seriously by idiots sometimes. Some big boobs look really painful to own, and I wince in sympathy.
But no one has questioned your actual womanhood. No one has compared you to a 12 year old, or a boy. No one has implied you are less of a woman because of your breast size.
I’ve been lucky, my husband is a small boob, thin woman kind of guy. And the guys I’ve been with have appeared to be happy. (All sex is good, don’t piss her off…)
Not all guys are like that, and they are more than willing to let you know, inadvertently or not.
I think the thing that I find most disappointing is women themselves. If you go to breast augmentation sites and look at the before and after pics (One of my employees got a boob job, before her surgery we’d look at some of the pics.)
Obviously not safe for work—
http:// www. yourplasticsurgeryguide. com/photo-gallery-breast.htm
There are nice breasts in the before pics.
I just think it’s a shame that so many women think they have to do this. I’m even more frustrated when a majority of men say, “Oh, no, we like small and natural,” yet we women continue to do it to ourselves. Do men actually mean it? Who knows- I doubt it. Hell, I have yet to see a restaurant that features small breasted women. (Question-I assume that Hooters and that ilk all have big titted servers. Is this true? Or has someone been in there and seen a small chested woman serving?)
And it is different than other plastic surgery. Sure you could say the brow lifts or nose jobs are just as shallow, but it isn’t tied up with your actual value as a woman. It isn’t tied up to your sexuality.
How many times have you seen a sex goddess portrayed as small breasted? Ever? How about the frigid school marm?
So yes, I am saying to hell with fascist beauty standards. But it’s difficult, and it gets more difficult every time a perfectly normal woman decides that she needs an augmentation. Because if I was on the small end of the spectrum 20 years ago, I am even more in the minority today.
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### Author:  [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2012, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/98 "2012-01-21T02:35:42Z")
I (a boy) mostly dislike fake breasts. A little tweaking/firming/evening out is OK. But I’ll take small & real over big and fake any day.
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### Author:  [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2012, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/99 "2012-01-21T02:42:31Z")
> [@fisha](#):
>
> I’m even more frustrated when a majority of men say, “Oh, no, we like small and natural,” yet we women continue to do it to ourselves. Do men actually mean it? Who knows- I doubt it. Hell, I have yet to see a restaurant that features small breasted women. (Question-I assume that Hooters and that ilk all have big titted servers. Is this true? Or has someone been in there and seen a small chested woman serving?)
>
> How many times have you seen a sex goddess portrayed as small breasted? .
I’ll point out that I have seen a lot of very popular strippers & porn stars with small boob. But, I’ll admit, in those cases they were very perky and firm. Guys, even us “boob men”, do like small boobs if they are perky and firm.
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### Author:  [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2012, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/100 "2012-01-21T03:26:25Z")
> [@fisha](#):
>
> 1. Having to redo it in 10 years
That isn’t true. There’s a chance you might have to redo or undo it at some point in the future, but the 10 year thing is a myth. As long as nothing goes wrong, you can leave well enough alone.
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