# Big fake boobs
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [January 18, 2012, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896 "2012-01-18T12:23:11Z")
**Posts on this page:** 12
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2012, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/101 "2012-01-21T05:01:47Z")
I can always always always tell when a woman has fake breasts clothed or naked and it is such a huge turnoff to me and an affront to nature and the natural order and that symmetry that it will always color my opinion of them, unfavorably… it would be a dealbreaker for me. It actively turns me off… but then so does any plastic surgery, everybody is walking around like freaking deformed monsters and they think it’s sexy? When did this become normal? The emperor has no clothes.
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### Author:  [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2012, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/102 "2012-01-21T05:12:45Z")
> [@tdn](#):
>
> **Dung Beetle** , do not change what is already perfect. Please!
This.
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### Author:  [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2012, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/103 "2012-01-21T06:06:46Z")
When my sister was about 13, she went and grew herself a rack. I dunno exactly how big she got, but she’s still quite well-endowed. I thought that I could expect the same thing when I got to be the same age since, y’know, genetics and stuff.
I was very annoyed to find out that this wasn’t the case. I should have known, of course, that since she had a shorter, curvier frame, she could expect bigger boobs, whereas that wouldn’t necessarily be the case for tall, skinny ol’ me. (I also should’ve known that my mom wore about a 34A bra when she got married, and that my sister was sort of an outlier.) But for years I wondered what the hell was wrong with my body (and all of the knuckle-dragging shitstains who were all “hurr you no have tits you no woman hurrrrrrrr” certainly didn’t help). I vowed that when I got the money, I would get implants.
Then in college I found out that A) there were men who not only didn’t mind small boobs, but actually _preferred_ them, and B) that the surgery sometimes resulted in a woman losing sensitivity (and sometimes sensation at all) in her breasts. The last fact especially made me :eek:, if just because I’d found that nipple-play was my absolute favorite part of sexyfuntimes. Why the hell would I want to have that taken away from me just to gain the approval of these same knuckle-dragging shitstains, whom I wouldn’t allow near my rack anyway?
So, barring major reconstructive surgery, I will never get implants.
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### Author:  [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2012, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/104 "2012-01-21T07:15:16Z")
> [@fisha](#):
>
> Do men actually mean it [when they say they like “small and natural”]? Who knows- I doubt it. Hell, I have yet to see a restaurant that features small breasted women. (Question-I assume that Hooters and that ilk all have big titted servers. Is this true? Or has someone been in there and seen a small chested woman serving?)
The curly haired blonde in [this pic](http://www.funnyhub.com/content_images/4341_2171_hooters-protest.jpg) doesn’t appear to be especially well endowed. She’s still pretty damn hot though.
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### Author:  [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2012, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/105 "2012-01-21T13:30:51Z")
> [@devilsknew](#):
>
> I can always always always tell when a woman has fake breasts clothed or naked and it is such a huge turnoff to me and an affront to nature and the natural order and that symmetry that it will always color my opinion of them, unfavorably… it would be a dealbreaker for me. It actively turns me off… but then so does any plastic surgery, everybody is walking around like freaking deformed monsters and they think it’s sexy? When did this become normal? The emperor has no clothes.
I couldn’t agree with you more. Grow old gracefully people!
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### Author:  [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2012, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/106 "2012-01-21T14:30:01Z")
I’ve always had fairly large breasts - about a D cup at this point and I’m 36, though when I was 25-ish I was a C. So I’ve never really thought about implants, though have considered that perhaps they’ll start sagging as I age. Though that can be corrected with a good bra, at least when I’m dressed. As far as how I feel about them when I’m naked, I’m good with them. They’ve got a few stretch marks from breastfeeding, but that’s about it. They’re still fairly perky.
As far as women with implants, I have a friend who had them because she was an A and unhappy with how she looked. They look completely natural. However, in porn since they’re usually so exaggeratedly large, it’s generally quite noticeable, which is a turnoff (for what it’s worth, I find watching porn a turn-on when I’m with my husband, and enjoy watching naturally endowed women with large boobs far more than women with small boobs or fake big 'uns).
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### Author:  [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2012, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/107 "2012-01-21T17:42:32Z")
Male here - natural shape whether small or large is by far the best.
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### Author:  [@IntelliQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IntelliQ)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2012, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/108 "2012-01-22T21:10:47Z")
As of today the poll totals 405 votes, 56% say they dont like, followed by 19% who never tried 'em.
I’m a 43 yr old guy, and fake 'uns were quiet popular from what I remember even when I was 20. To date I’ve been with 4 women with fake breasts, only one of the women still retained what she called natural tear dropped shape. The others were obvious and distracting and I did not like them Sam I am.
When I say distracting, I mean it in the sense that during sexual activities thoughts would barge into my head, for example “Why did she think she needed these?”,…“Does she realize these dont look real?”,…“How psychologically marred is she to think this is what guys want?”…“I wonder what they looked like before”,…“Damn. They don’t move right”…etc,etc.
False advertisement is fairly obvious and I knew ahead of time, it’s not like I was surprised. Nor did it or will it stop me from being with a woman who have them. That would be discrimination.
I’d say given a choice between a woman and her twin, and the only difference being fake or real, I’ll take both. And if both isnt an option, then real. Then fake.
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### Author:  [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/109 "2012-01-23T15:04:30Z")
I like boobs. I _love_ nipples. I like big boobs. I like tiny boobs. I like a flat chested chick with perky nipples. I want to play with them all. My preference is for natural, because giant implants just look wrong. They’re all gravity defying. They also feel weird. At least the silicone ones, not sure about saline. They’re too solid, not like rocks but like a big lump of tire rubber.
I’m also not thrilled with the look of putting the implant under the pectoral muscle. It makes the boob shaped weird. Sure, the chest sticks out further, but there’s often a contour transition between the pec muscle and the actual breast tissue sitting on top. The point of an implant _should_ be to replicate breast tissue, so it should sit where breast tissue sits.
But to be honest, if I can play with them, I won’t complain very loud. (Mostly because my mouth is full.)
> [@rhubarbarin](#):
>
> That depends on the type of surgery you have. I believe it used to be customary to nearly or completely detach the areola and nipple and insert the implant in the breast that way, for less scarring; lately, for a more natural look, the implant is placed behind the pectoral muscle, and the incision is made in the armpit area.
That approach was devised to be less obtrusive than the original approach of cutting the underside of the boob to insert. For the original method, when she’s standing upright, the sag of the boob concealed the scar behind the boob, but do any movement and it came into view. So someone decided that they could hide the scar in the transition from areola to regular skin. In _theory_, there’s something of a transition line there anyway, so it would be a good way to mask the edgeline. In _practice_, the scars are pretty noticable anyway, and it ruins the topology. Plus some women have very faint transitions. Maybe there are some good results on some people, but it’s fairly noticeable in a lot I’ve seen (mostly pics).
Want to see what I mean, look up Trina Michaels. She’s a porn actress, and so I won’t link NSFW pics, but she’s got a sizeable set of implants, and the scar line around the nipples is **terrible**. Her nipples look glued on. (Actually, they look ripped off, then glued back on. Which they sort of were.)
> [@RedBloom](#):
>
> Fake breast owner here, and a very happy one at that. … I cried when I looked in the mirror, that’s how ugly they were. I look proportionate now and fill out tops nicely. I wouldn’t change my decision for the world. Nobody (except my husband) knows they’re fake. (He loves them too). They look completely natural. Everyone has this idea that the only option is the ‘Pamela Anderson’ version, and that is absolutely NOT the case. The majority of women don’t want watermelons in their bras.
I’m glad you are happy with your result. It sucks not being happy with something about your body, especially something that you don’t really have any control over. You are also correct that superboobs aren’t the only option for implants. Small changes can be used to reshape flabby boobs or give a still reasonably proportionate increase in size.
> [@fisha](#):
>
> But no one has questioned your actual womanhood. No one has compared you to a 12 year old, or a boy. No one has implied you are less of a woman because of your breast size.
Some people are jerks.
> [@](#):
>
> I’m even more frustrated when a majority of men say, “Oh, no, we like small and natural,” yet we women continue to do it to ourselves. Do men actually mean it? Who knows- I doubt it. Hell, I have yet to see a restaurant that features small breasted women. (Question-I assume that Hooters and that ilk all have big titted servers. Is this true? Or has someone been in there and seen a small chested woman serving?)
I’m sure the guys saying it really mean it, being one of them. But there are plenty of other men out there, and they don’t necessarily share our sentiments. I wouldn’t take Hooters as evidence of our sincerity.
AFAIK, it is not a _requirement_ to have big breasts to be hired at Hooters. However, I am told they will pay for implants if the girls want them.
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### Author:  [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)
#### Post date: [January 23, 2012, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/110 "2012-01-23T15:48:16Z")
> [@hermette](#):
>
> I voted “never”, as I’m pro-breastfeeding\* and hoping to have another baby someday.
>
> But I add my voices to those above who’d probably get a reconstructive pair done if I ever had breast cancer or had a significant amount of tissue removed for other medical reasons.
>
> - not beastfeeding. interesting typo there!
A friend of mine has implants and has successfully breastfed her daughter for more than 15 months now. It did not hinder them in any way.
That said, it’s not for me.
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### Author:  [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2012, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/111 "2012-01-24T02:23:45Z")
> [@fisha](#):
>
> You want DD’s that are perky? Go to the local high school. Beyond that, they are almost always a boob job.
I’ve got naturally large breasts that are still perky at nearly 29. They’re not gravity defying like they were through my early 20s, but they’re not sagging noticeably either. Some of it is genetics (I had Bs until I hit 14, then they started growing to Ds until the last few years when I’ve gotten up to a DD/F), and some of it is helped with exercise.
That said, I liked having Bs better than I like having Ds or DD/Fs. I haven’t seen my waist without pushing my breast out of the way in years, crumbs land there, I dislike running sometimes more because of the size of them, and they just get in the way. I’m not even going to start with the clothing fit issues, as plenty of ladies have discussed some of them already. It’s unfortunate that there are a lot of women out there that think their breasts need to be enlarged via surgical means, and there are far more of them who had nice breasts to start with.
If I ever get to the age where my breasts are sagging quite noticeably, I might get a breast lift. I am just really leery of the idea of messing with my anatomy surgically if there’s no medical need to do so.
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### Author:  [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2012, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fake-boobs/609896/112 "2012-01-24T03:37:12Z")
**fisha** , the last time we were at the local Hooters, our server had a strafing run from a mosquito. Mrs. Vorlon (44DD+) remarked to Vorlon Jr, and myself “You guys are getting cheeted”
[Full disclosure—she requested to go there, she likes the wings]
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