# Big Fat Lies. (we tell kids). **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 8, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997 "2010-09-08T01:06:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/1 "2010-09-08T01:06:20Z")
I’ll start; You can do/be anything you want. Bullies are just cowards. There is someone out there for everyone. They’re just jealous. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/2 "2010-09-08T01:16:50Z")
My wife and I have a policy to never lie to our kids, but I’ll share some I’ve heard. - Santa is real - Santa says you have to be \_\_\_\_ years old to have that toy - Easter Bunny is real - Cheaters never prosper - The horsey is broken(they have this horse at Meijer kids can ride) ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/3 "2010-09-08T01:24:04Z")
The family cat/dog/bunny/turtle/goldfish ran away to join the circus. (Ok not so much the last two, but…) Eat it, it’s just chicken. (What, “just like” chicken isn’t close enough?) ---
**Author:** ![hougaswd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@hougaswd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hougaswd)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/4 "2010-09-08T01:43:42Z")
Your aunt isn’t crazy, she just hates all children. Walt ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/5 "2010-09-08T03:09:05Z")
I agree with the “You can be anything you want.” I tell my students it’s a lie. As a 5’4" 120 lb woman, I don’t see myself as an NBA player or NFL player no matter how I try. Nor will the College of Cardinals be electing me Pope anytime soon. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/6 "2010-09-08T03:14:56Z")
This won’t hurt a bit. What comes around goes around. You’ll grow into your features and be good-looking later. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/7 "2010-09-08T06:45:43Z")
People with college degrees get good jobs If you ignore bullies, they’ll get bored and go away ---
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/8 "2010-09-08T07:47:12Z")
> [@Pai325](#): > > I agree with the “You can be anything you want.” I tell my students it’s a lie. As a 5’4" 120 lb woman, I don’t see myself as an NBA player or NFL player no matter how I try. Nor will the College of Cardinals be electing me Pope anytime soon. You \*want \*to be those things? ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/9 "2010-09-08T10:33:45Z")
We can do that tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/10 "2010-09-08T10:47:13Z")
I try really hard not to tell these kinds of lies to my kids. One I hear a lot that makes me want to punch the parent though, is: If you don’t come here right now, I’m leaving without you! Hey, lady, guess what? Not only will you _not_ leave your kid, but your kid _knows it_! :smack: As far as mythical characters like Santa, The Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc. I play along while they’re young. When they get old enough to question, though, I’ll just say something like “Well, do you _want_ it to be real? OK, then for now, it can be real”. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/11 "2010-09-08T10:58:18Z")
“Right now are the best years of your life.” - Something that is not a good thing to tell a kid who’s already depressed, I can say from personal experience. You might be intending to tell them their present problems are no big deal and they should buck up, but what they’ll hear is that you are saying that their future holds nothing but misery; that their life is only going to go from bad to worse. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/12 "2010-09-08T11:06:21Z")
God never closes a door without opening a window. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/13 "2010-09-08T11:10:01Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > “Right now are the best years of your life.” - Something that is not a good thing to tell a kid who’s already depressed, I can say from personal experience. You might be intending to tell them their present problems are no big deal and they should buck up, but what they’ll hear is that you are saying that their future holds nothing but misery; that their life is only going to go from bad to worse. Lord help me, **Der Trihs** , you’ve said something I agree with 100%! 😉 In fact, I wrote a poem (I’m very amateur at poetry, which is why I never post it on these boards when we have ‘contests’ and such) when I was about 17, all about how, when you’re a kid, adults will tell you “These are the best years of your life! Enjoy it while you can!” Oh yeah? Guess what? Now, as an _adult_, I’m not being systematically sexually or emotionally abused. I’m _not_ helpless to control my situation. I _am_ in a happy, loving relationship; I _do_ have children that I can influence in a _positive_ manner. I _am_ worth more than just being a wife and mother. I _can_ run a business. So everyone who tells kids ‘these are the best years of your life’, cut it out! Even if the kid has a _great_ life, that doesn’t mean their adult-hood can’t be at least as good, maybe better. Now, of course, all my kids (at one time or another) have come to me and said something like “Wow, being a grownup must be great! You get to do whatever you want, whenever you want!” and I have to explain to them that it’s a trade-off. Yeah, _you_ get to make your own rules, but then _you_ are the one who has to force yourself to do things you don’t want to do. Still, though, given the choice between my adult-hood and my childhood, I’ll take adult any day of the week! ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/14 "2010-09-08T11:36:46Z")
> [@USCDiver](#): > > > [@Pai325](#): > > > > I agree with the “You can be anything you want.” I tell my students it’s a lie. As a 5’4" 120 lb woman, I don’t see myself as an NBA player or NFL player no matter how I try. Nor will the College of Cardinals be electing me Pope anytime soon. > > You \*want \*to be those things? Well, I tell the kids I do. Another lie for them. ---
**Author:** ![Ninja\_Lauren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/46a35a/32.png) [@Ninja\_Lauren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ninja_Lauren)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/15 "2010-09-08T12:49:55Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > The family cat/dog/bunny/turtle/goldfish ran away to join the circus. (Ok not so much the last two, but…) > > Eat it, it’s just chicken. (What, “just like” chicken isn’t close enough?) Ha, that first part brought back some memories! We had barn cats (since my mom hated litter boxes) and they were always “running away”. One day I was reminiscing about a cat I had that “ran away” and my little brother said, “You mean the one mom ran over?” I was about sixteen when it happened, and I couldn’t believe she wouldn’t just tell me she ran it over, since it was an accident. Then I found out that 90% of the pets I thought “ran away”, were just killed in tragic mishaps and no one wanted to tell me! “He/she is only picking on you because they like you.” Right. Or they’re just a bully. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/16 "2010-09-08T21:53:09Z")
We really tried not to lie to our kids—and mostly succeeded. There was one implicit lie. If we told them to go up to their room for a timeout and they didn’t go, we started to count to ten. They always went. We had nothing in mind for ten. We have since asked them what they thought was coming. They had no idea, but took the counting as a sign we were really serious. I have to say they were real good kids. And successful adults and parents too. I wish we could bottle it and sell it, whatever we did right. Make us rich. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/17 "2010-09-08T22:19:44Z")
Not technically a lie, but: “We’ll buy Daughter a Horse at the same time we buy Son an airplane” For years, the children told that believed that one day (not neccessarily soon) they would own a horse and an airplane. In fact, there was never any intent to buy either. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/18 "2010-09-08T23:21:09Z")
Money isn’t everything. You have a right not to be bullied. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. One person really can make a difference. ---
**Author:** ![moejoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@moejoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejoe)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/19 "2010-09-09T04:52:26Z")
Do what you love and the money will follow. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997/20 "2010-09-09T06:44:19Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Money isn’t everything. Personally, I don’t think this is a lie. Money really _isn’t_ everything. Being poor certainly sucks (been there, done that, don’t care to do it again), but some people (not just children) seem to think that if you have enough money, you will never have any more problems. Having money will not solve all of your problems. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-fat-lies-we-tell-kids/552997.md?page=2)